Quite an interesting read, I really like how the story is styled like a diary. The first 2 chapters were indeed written worse than the rest of the story, like the author themselves stated at the beginning. I think it would not hurt to make some improvements there. I also noticed in the first chapter, a switch from 3rd to 1st person perspective, which was a bit strange. But what I really like is the feeling of loneliness while the MC was at the hospital, as well as the appearance of magic in the story.
Hello! Thank you for your kind words, my story does not have much following at the moment, but I believe it will change with time.
Dusk: Journey to Slay God
Fantasy · Kulkuljator