You have excellent grammar and your story has a good storyline. Please continue with your novel since it will be interesting to see how your main characters develop. [img=recommend]
Please capitalize H of the word "hey"...
Just then the taxi driver got out of his car, and he said: "Hey Smith, where's my money."
Detective Dan Year One
Urban · Jlionbad_9364
Thank you for your feedback. It means so much to a stroke victim like me. 🤗
Thank you for your feedback. It means so much for someone who had a stroke like i have. XD
Thank you for your feedback. It means so much for someone who had a stroke like i have. XD Add a reply
Very good use of the English lhere, Author. Also, your story has a very good start. I was just a little confused about your female MC's name... Is it Marilene or Isabella?[img=faceslap]
Thank you for your feedback. It means so much to a stroke victim like me. 🤗
Thank you for your feedback. It means so much to a stroke victim like me. 🤗
I observed that you have greatly improved in your storytelling skills in this story. However, please find time to go back through your story and improve on your punctuation marks and capitalization uses. [img=recommend]
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- original
Bound Passions: Her BDSM Billionaire
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It all began when a military operative and spy Mrs. Paraluman Buenaventura infiltrated a rebel camp up in the mountains. When her husband was able to raid the said camp, he was able to save two boys, whom he would eventually treat like his own sons. His only daughter, Estelle, was attracted to her new adoptive brother, Victor. However, he felt that loving him and being with him would endanger Estelle, so he kept his true feelings for her in the dark. Soon enough, their Secret Militia group, codenamed Trinity, has expanded to add more agents and fighters to their cause. Their arch-enemy, The Tribunal, will make themselves known, and it will cost Trinity several lives, including his surrogate mother Paraluman, whom Victor promises to avenge. Unknown to him, Estelle, as soon as she hit adulthood, had already started putting together a plan to have Victor accept her unrequited feelings. But would Victor ever do so and put his beloved Estelle in danger? What about his promise to avenge Paraluman?6 Chs 23 Colecciones
You have excellent grammar and have very creative ideas for your book's world and characters. Keep it up author. You're doing quite well so far. [img=recommend]
My Caster Academia
Fantasy · Kardine_Spike17