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This story is so incredibly boring I can't think of any advice to give you. I will, however, try and point out what may be so bad about it. Fist off, the main character himself. After reading this far, there is nothing positive about him that stands out to me as a reader. He himself has shown to be a boring character. Second, the dialogue. None of the dialogue actually is valuable or holds substance. It makes the characters all look more one dimensional than they already are. Third, lack of risk. There is conflict in the story, but it is poorly executed each time. There is 0 tension, and everything just reads like I could skim through and miss nothing. Lastly few observations, there is a severe lack of world building, the main characteris unintesting and the story makes no effort to make readers interestedin him, characters are all uninteresting and I don't care about them, plot is elusive and I don't even know the story's general direction, and the chapters are too short for the amount of filler they have. I HIGLY recommend trying to compare your story to high quality ones or popular novels. Shadow Slave is a perfect novel to do this with, and everyone should study that masterpiece. My advice may not be what you need anyway so take it with a grain of salt. Good luck in your future endeavors.