A good book in the making, a street urchin theif who can hear the spirits of the dead or other foul and fair entities sounds fantastic. So if you ever wish to continue this story in some form, I’d love read it.
Out of all the potential beginnings a novel can have my favourite is the street urchin theif. Not to mention the idea of a medium/seer theif is quite compelling. Although personally I’d say such a story would be better as a more traditional less game oriented story, that’s more personal preference. Making her sound intelligent does come across, although it is a little forced. It might be a bit more engaging if she was overly polite/formal or perhaps spoke with a more childish accent and manner despite her clever wit. Regardless I think its a good book in the making and I’d love to give it a read if you decide to continue it again some day.
*Sight rather than site
My heart was getting faster and faster, waiting right until the moment to strike. To me, nothing was more exciting, than the moment before and at it. It was as if time slowed down, I lunged forward, jumping out of the building and ran towards them. Since I was outside of their line of site they never saw me coming, I reached out.
The One That Sees Everything
Fantasy · Kurumaru
Actually ignore me I’m talk out of my ass
I mean a need to please his new benefactor could do the trick to a degree, but even thats a but lacking. I mean he doesnt even understand magic yet not to mention this academy
I’m sort of confused as to why he wants to “reach the top”. I mean is it because of the fairytales he read? Even then thats surely more about being skilled and heroic than being the head of this magick order. I dunno I just feel like he hasn’t really got any motivation beyond being free of servitued and doing Molly proud. Certainly nothing like a dire need or perhaps a deep fasination with magic that would spurr him onward to make such a conviction.
Just had a uni class on earth water systems, so it should be right. But if I’m missing something let me know. 😁
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Symphonic Odyssey
Fantasy · Raikyodeus
Rivers don’t (to my knowledge) ever flow from the sea. There’s an interchange of water of course, but the flow direction is from high to low and the ocean is the lowest point of the coast. So it’d be fine for the crops (for a bunch of reasons, after all the nile floodplains are some of the richest soil in the world and are right next to the sea; relatively), but believe me thats not what’s mainly feeding an inland lake.
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Symphonic Odyssey
Fantasy · Raikyodeus
Yeah, this immediately reminded me of my first time galloping I totally freaked 🤣
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Symphonic Odyssey
Fantasy · Raikyodeus
Look sure on average women might have less arm strength, but mate if your using that sweeping generalisation, using gender as a means of degredation. Then yes thats sexist. Just go up to your female friends and ask is saying “you hit like a girl sexist?”
The lord's slap stung, but he was fairly certain that even a woman can hit harder than he did. The slap never hurt him--his shrill voice did. He continued to curse at the slaves. Flailing his hands like a madman as he lividly attacked the slaves with his verbal ineptitude.
A Guide to Kingdom Building ( Me Reincarnated 365 x)
Fantasy · MoeJam90