Capítulo 103: Ch 93 – SATAN WORSHIPPERS!
(A Few Hours Later)
"Fuuuuucccckkkkk, is this like real magic or what?" I muttered while playing with a goo of flesh laid out in front of me on the table I use to experiment on.
"Sigh, I shouldn't be handling this wacky branch so late at night, I still have school tomorrow," I said while rubbing my tired eyes and turning off the lights inside the room with a clap because I can.
With me procrastinating my will of learning a new branch called magic, I got out of the basement to see that it was already deep into the night with the moon high up in the sky.
"If magic is real, then are werewolves real? Or lycanthropes I mean, how does that even work? Is the moon a special magical construct that resonates with the connection of man and beast? Whatever, I'm part Dung Beetle already and activate it like a weird superhero," I said while shaking my head and grumpily got upstairs because sleep is just making things slow, I really need to solve this sleep problem of mine.
(The Next Day)
"I'm going out now!" I shouted at the front door to my parents still eating as they nodded in response and with that, I put on my shoes and closed the door shut.
With me now alone on the road, I wondered how the fuck does a devil exist?
Like what is the purpose of the tail really if you can fucking wield bullshit magic?
Though I'm pretty sure I'll find out how it works later so magic am I right?
Not pretty magical once I learn your little fucking secrets, but besides that, why the tail?
Are the seven deadly sins also real?
Ugh, magic is such a fucking dumb concept if all the mythologies are real like Christianity, Buddhism, and other shit.
Like if God is fucking real, then his story from the bible is dumb shit and the author should just go kill themselves for bringing that lame-ass story to the world, even my first novel was better plotwise.
But does that mean something like faith energy is real?
(A Few Minutes Later)
"Time to do some daily loitering," I muttered while going to a random location with a still hazy mind because I only had 5 hours of sleep today but who cares, I can probably answer all school shit in my dreams.
But as I started to walk in a random direction, I remembered the abandoned school dormitory/schoolhouse and knew it could be my own school lab!
"Holy shit! I can just make a fog that will make anyone near it go away by abusing some chemicals like fear and bam! My own school lab!" I said as I instantly knew I could do that and it will be like a place I could stay in for breaks and after school.
So with quick haste, I went towards the abandoned schoolhouse to make it my own without anyone's permission because the government is bullshit.
"There it is," I said as I saw the surprisingly well-kept schoolhouse, I would have thought it would be overrun by plants and foliage but nope, it's surprisingly clean.
"Oh well, let's just make a mask real quick," with a quick grab at the grass and leaves around me, I weaved up a mask made out of plants within a few minutes and put it on, and went towards the entrance of the schoolhouse without a second thought.
"Huh? It's locked?" I muttered as I nudge it for a bit and felt like it won't budge, so it's not a metal lock but it is locked.
Well, it's still like 6 in the morning and no one is here so…
"HA!" I shouted as my arm got covered in a black bug carapace and forcefully opened the door by pushing it in a certain way so that it won't break, but it took me a surprisingly large amount of force to open it but eh, probably rust or some shit.
But the moment I looked inside with my gauntlet absorbed back into my body, I saw…
"Someone has been living here? Wait, not just live, someone has been hanging out hear for fun! I can see some drinks over there!" I said with a horrid face as I can't believe someone beat me to it.
"But… the inside does look a bit weird, candle lights, weird pentagram on the ground… that's a fucking satanic ritual!" the moment I saw that weird little circle on the ground, I knew that something is wrong here.
Not only that, I can sense the souls of the dead wailing to me saying things like "I died here" or "Run away"
"Uhh…" I instantly took off into a fast sprint far away from that weird schoolhouse and into the dumpsters to prepare weapons for myself, why? Because maybe some Satan worshippers are inside the school and they might come to try and kill me!
With ragged breaths, I went towards the trash and grabbed random shit because I can make weapons out of anything.
"Shit shit! What if they somehow put a magic tracker on me! They do have magic! Like why would nobody else go near that abandoned schoolhouse for years and not find out some Satan worshippers are there!" I shouted with horror in my voice as I might have gotten entangled in a weird conspiracy that will affect my family and school.
With me using my weird bug body to forcefully screw stuff together, I made a small laser gun that is powered by the sun and the solar panels on it are optimized as hell so near-infinite bullets.
"This should be enough," I said with a grave face as I stood up and left the dumpsters to go back to my classroom with a calm face on the outside but inside I was prepared to kill some demons or vampires.
Wait, I can get help from Souna-senpai!
I hurriedly took off into a fast sprint towards the student council room where Souna might be alone because it's still early as fuck and the moment I arrived in front of the door, I hurriedly knock on it.
"Come in," she said inside the room as I walk in with a grave face.
"Kaichou! I found Satan worshippers inside the abandoned schoolhouse! You gotta help me! They're gonna kill me with their Satan powers!" I shouted while dropping down on the couch inside the room.
"Wait what?!" said Souna as she wasn't able to process what I had said to her.
"Yes! When I was wandering around the abandoned schoolhouse, I thought "I should go inside and see what's up" and bam! A satan circle was on the ground! You know those ritual ones right?" I said while wiping away the sweat from my forehead.
"Ohh, you're misunderstanding stuff Okabe-san, it is like that because that is the Occult Research Club's own club room, the satan circle is a design choice for their club," said Souna as she let out a small chuckle from her mouth.
"… So no Satan worshippers? No devils?" I asked with a relieved sigh.
"None of that," said Souna with a smile.
"Phew, well please tell the Occult Research Club I'm sorry for barging into their club space," I said with a smile as she nodded and got out of the room.
But the moment I did, I hurriedly took off into a sprint while my legs got covered by a black carapace behind my pants and kick off the ground to jump fly high into the sky.
"Where's the church! Where's the goddamn place I can buy holy crosses!" I shouted while putting on my mask and landed inside a random alley and took off into a fast sprint that left deep imprints on the ground due to my armored legs.
(A Few Minutes Later)
Ugh shit, I'm so fucking stupid.
I don't need a holy cross, I just need to shoot the devil worshippers dead.
I'm pretty stupid sometimes really, but lesson learned for little ol' me.
After walking back to my classroom, I plop down on my seat and took out my laptop so I can continue designing stuff while bored in class, I'm the smartest fucking man on planet Earth already, this is just a pastime, to be honest.
Though I do wonder. "What is the formula about? I've only decoded about half of the formula but just from the ones I've understood, it's related to space and time."
"Okabe-san, you're being called to the student council room," said a girl who appeared in front of the door as I nodded and ignored her entirely the moment we went our separate ways.
The moment I opened the door, I saw the other members of the student council along with a certain somebody having crimson red hair and big boobs, it's just heavyweight really. Like big boobs are pretty stupid for combat or practicality except for seducing fellow humans.
"Hello Okabe-san, this is Rias, the president of the Occult Research Clubs," said Souna as she pointed at the red-haired girl beside her.
"Oh, I didn't know Rias-senpai is the president of Occult Research Club, I didn't even know it existed," I said with an amicable smile and walk towards them with my hands in my pocket grasping a certain something.
"Hello Okabe-san," said Rias with a beautiful smile that would have charmed any man but gone is my lust for I see nothing but flesh and bones I could pierce through with my laser gun.
"Hello Rias-senpai, sorry for intruding into your club room, I was just wandering around you know, and to find this abandoned schoolhouse would make any human want to explore it right?" I said while rubbing my head with my left hand.
"I understand, but I do wonder, how did you enter it while the door was locked?" asked Rias, oh there it is, the question I've expected.
"I don't know, it was just open when I entered it, but I was surprised to find a ritual circle in the room, you know with the recent news of murder and stuff, I thought some murder hobos were inside the school, maybe even devils?" I said while tightening my grip on the handle of a certain something in my pockets.
"Yeah, but let's just forgo that event with a handshake," said Rias with a wide smile as I nodded.
"Sure Rias-senpai!" I said as I fucking took out a cross from my pocket coated in holy water, don't ask how I got it, just know nobody was murdered.
"… What's that Okabe-san?" asked Souna from the side as she stood up with wide eyes.
"It's a cross Souna-senpai, a peace treaty from God," I said but the moment I ended my sentence, I saw them squinting their eyes for the littlest of bit, and by little I mean very fucking little but I was able to notice it due to the twitch in their cheek muscles that is connected to their fucking eyes.
"Isn't God great? Why don't you grab Jesus over here?" I said while nearing the cross towards Rias's outstretched hands which she quickly retracted back.
SATAN WORSHIPPERS! THEY'RE FUCKING SATAN WORSHIPPERS!
"Okabe-san, can you look into my eyes for a bit?" suddenly said Rias as I fucking knew what she was going to do.
"Ouch! My stomach hurts, sorry Rias-senpai, I gotta go take a big fat shit out of my stomach!" A load of your fucking bullshit!
You're fucking devils, aren't you!
HOLY CRAP!
THEY WERE PLANNING TO BRAIN FUCK ME!
Oh, how much do I just want to shoot your head with my fucking laser gun Rias!
Souna is fine because she's a good devil but you!
YOU TRIED TO BRAINWASH ME!
I'm gonna ignore her from now on, fuck that and her bullshit, I'm gonna learn magic and make my mind protected from bullshit brain powers from now on!
But first, I actually do need to take a shit and try to finally finish that formula while taking a 30-minute shit.
AN: This is 2029 words, you're welcome.
The Sword of Damocles hangs above each and everyone one of you with its ever present threat of despair, so send me some power stones with your power of friendship and save the thousands perhaps even millions to come who will read this masterpiece immortalized in the tunnels of time.
(April 28, 2022 – 155th day of writing)
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