/ Anime & Comics / Toneri in DC
Resumen
After his tragic encounter with Otsutsuki urashiki and being trapped in the void known as the dragon king palace.
In his moment of despair he is rescued by his ancestor, Hamura otsutsuki, the brother of Hagoromo Otsutsuki bringing him a glimmer of hope and possibly a chance at a new beginning…
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7000 year old god. put on a team with teenagers. So heres what we can rule out. Romance. Unless author wants MC in jail. Charater development. MC has seen so much that all thier teenage drama and BS will feel stupid to him. u can also rule out any interesting NEW stories. Cause of the power and age of MC he will likely not feel at all inclined to help the team unless they are in danger of dieing. Freindship. Hes so old that these young people will have NOTHING in common with him. Even comradery will not be in this because he will be holding his powerback and his emotions will not be moved by childrens struggles. You could have put him as the mentor of the team. But as a member make ZERO sense.
the writing style is like written by AI. no hard feelings man, its just what I feel
I like it so far just don’t like way Batman is portrayed as overly supicous to the point it comes out as kinda stupid. I mean he is suspicious of people but he is more secretive with it, not basically telling the person who he is suspicious of
Please edit. Constant repetitions and AI writing style. Readable but annoying. People read to relax. Plus, the illusion works by interfering with consciousness, which can be noticed by a strong consciousness, so he used transformation to hide his eyes. And why hide? And a sage needs natural energy.
Story and the concept is good but the ai element in the novel is too much for me
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I gotta say this is one of the best novels of crossover I've ever written.The only bad part is the slow update on the novel but other than tha, keep up the good work and don't drop the novel, your work is amazing 😍😍
The writing feels fake and unnatural. Like ai but at the some time not. Definitely still better than a lot of other fanfics on here. Can’t say much about the story line since I haven’t read much and won’t read more but toneri’s character just seems off. Not like a person that’s thousands of years old. The storyline back in his home worls is also bad, like hamura teaching him the ancient way of the ōtsutsuki but in reality just showing him how to manipulate chakra?? (Even tho he knew already) and teaching him shadow clone and then some bs about the tenseigan that didn’t make much sense. All in all probably an alright story to kill some time but not one where you desire to read more
This fanfic has many errors and throws stuff out at random for plot convenience
no just no, you are just changing the original toneri, he never would protect the earth, even after losing to naruto he said moon will never come to earth but never said he will protect the earth, and you are making a character who doesn't care about humans in the slightest converting him into someone who cares about unknown people in a strange universe and become a cringe follower of justice league and toneri comes to the world of shinobi where basically kids are taught to kill and you are just making toneri acting friends with and saving strangers , out of character of real toneri