Capítulo 28: Chapter 28
But Wang Han and Princess Chenghuan did not return for dinner. In excitement, Heonui, who had been waiting for them all day, could not find peace. Not knowing what to do in their absence, she paced with a candle and a glass of wine to Wang Han's office to get paper and ink and sit down to write a letter to her parents.
«Father,
How are you without me?
This is the third letter I am writing to you, but still without an answer. Are you disappointed with me for choosing to stay? But please do understand, out of my carelessness, I gave His Serene Highness Mr. Wang Han a promise to stay yet more. I do not know the deep reasons for these wishes of his, but sometimes, I think that he sees in me a connection with his late brother, and it makes life easier for him when I am present. Yet, rest assured that I do have a most civil stay here and being well taken care of. But of course, I fully understand that you are waiting for me at home, and — oh, how it hurts me to think that you can be angry with me, papa!
And Mother, is she feeling better, or is she staying still very ill? How worried I am! I often regret spending my already useless existence in this house. I miss you!
And what of my Mimi? How did she get there? Safe? Write me everything! Without her, I am like without hands — how dear this young lady is to me, and I grew very fond of her! She would, in a good way, not look after our house but become someone's worthy wife. Father, have you thought about it? Maybe someone to woo our Mimi? I am so worried about her! Ah, I want to go home so! Please, reply to me as fast as it is possible with a very much detailed acting of affairs at home, for it will be a true delight for me to know everything from you personally than scrape the rumours here and there from the land and servants. I will make arrangements as soon as His Majesty comes home from the hunt to venture a carriage ready for me. I hope that by the time you receive this letter, I will be on my way to you, dare I say so.
I kiss and hug you dearly, and do please send my love to Mother.
Your daughter, Heonui."
Putting an end to her writing, Heonui gave vent to tears. How lonely she was in this huge house! Now she only understood that it was Wang Han who, with his company and attention, kept her afloat — and now, when his mind and heart were in the direction of the beautiful Chenghuan, Heonui had to disappear from his life. She herself had no right to happiness — she was a widow, and her mourning should always be before her, but Wang Han, although he lost his brother, was in other positions — he had duties, military and state affairs people. He could not roar night and day until that Wang Tae was no more. This should be done by Heonui because she did not have heavy responsibilities and important matters on her shoulders. Her life itself was empty and meaningless. Maybe she should have just finished it? Maybe that's why Wang Tae appeared to her — to show how empty her existence is?
She would be glad to die, but she did not know how… She could not even think of how to end her miserable days with dignity and without harm to her loved ones. To drown herself? To suffocate?
"Tell me, Wang Tae! And I will do everything!"
A servant approached Heonui and, bowing sincerely, said:
"Your Royal Highness, we have prepared a bath for you – shall we go?"
"An Ha, is that you? Ah, I see it is you, indeed. I wrote a letter to my family. I want to go home! I do not have the strength I want!"
"Why do not you go?" the servant asked timidly, wondering if it was possible for her to find out.
Heonui sighed. Really, why did not she just pack up and go home? Did she cover up some true intentions behind a promise to Wang Han? What were the intentions? She knew now... She did not want to leave him. So much so that even Mimi herself could not persuade her to go to Father's house with her. Heonui wanted to be close to Wang Han.
"I promised him to stay," answered the Princess, looking at the flame of a burning candle.
"But it will be bad for you to be alone, Your Royal Highness!" The woman shook her head. "The master and the lady will not return soon, I am afraid."
"What are you talking about?"
"So, after all, the lackey is standing below. He alone returned."
"How!"
And Heonui rushed out of the office into the street, pushing aside the servants who had crowded in the cold, who were seriously worried that the Princess was in the cold without warm clothes and in a vague state. But the footman immediately went to Heonui and handed her a short note, where, in neat calligraphy, Lady Chenghuan informed that they would stay overnight with a certain war lead man Won Yuu, who urgently called them to join the winter hunting for boars in his domain. And therefore, the Princess and the Prince wished Heonui to rest and gain strength and not to be very sad because life went on.
The Princess threw the note into the snow in disgust and, without a word, walked back to the manor.
As soon as the servants returned to the entrance hall, talking and whispering, then from the second floor, just from the side of Lady Li-en's room, they heard a voice — weak but full of determination:
"Carriage for me! I am driving home! Carriage for me now!"
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