Capítulo 2: Prologue: 2
The first day I was finally released from my sheathe wasn't even by the All-father. No, he gave me to his daughter Amora. At first I was very pleased to be met with a new owner. Occasionally she talked to me and she brought me on a tour to a few dozen worlds.
However there was a problem, you see she turned out to be crazy. Which isn't per-say a bad thing. She after all at least talked to me sometimes which is more often than the All-father spoke to me which was almost never.
Once Amora made her own world she even started to speak to me on a daily basis. Nothing interesting, typically just to ask how she looked or to bash on some of the humans that she had in her world. I learned the hard way that insulting or disagreeing with her was a bad idea.
She couldn't hurt me, I mean come on I was made by the All-father. If anyone actually knew how to destroy me it would be him, not his second rate daughter who had a few screws loose. But she did put me into my sheathe for months or years at a time if she was unsatisfied with an answer I gave.
It wasn't until I started watching humans, and I mean watching like 24 hours a day, everyday, like some creepy stalker that I found the perfect word to describe her.
A brat, a spoiled little brat. If she didn't like a specific creature, demon, or human she would go out of her way to save them before they died just so she could trick them into going to a secluded area in her world where she felt safe enough to in her words
"grace her dirt ball with her angelic feet" and stab whomever she didn't like. What did she stab them with? Me of course, And we both know how I feel about stabbing things.
I don't even know why the All-father made living things have such undesirable traits like organs. They're squishy, they pulsate, and are all together not a pleasant thing to feel. I would call whomever I'm stabbing inconsiderate, but again I can't fault them, it's the All-father to blame.
What I do blame these squish bags for is all the stabbing they do. You would think reader, that with such disgusting insides bugs,humans,demons, ect, would want to keep the insides inside. But they just can't seem to help themselves.
The biggest offenders in terms of numbers are bugs. If I didn't know better I would say it's their hobby. However, bugs don't love killing or anything of the sort; they are just too stupid to do anything else but live,die, and kill.
To their credit I suppose they do the occasional building every now and again which is slightly impressive considering their small sizes and miniscule brains. Enough about bugs, they're disgusting critters even if they are occasionally impressive. Let's talk about the second offender humans.
When it comes to bloodlust nothing beats humans. Well almost nothing, I suppose there are some demons who outmatch them, with the exception of course of the oddball human who will just love bathing in blood for no reason other than they can do it.
I think it's because human-meat bags are more creative or perhaps it's because an egocentric human is far more dangerous than an egocentric demon. Eh, it doesn't really matter at the end of the day they are both just a couple of lame meat-sacks.
Now if you are a human meat you might be insulted at this very moment. Yes I'm talking to you human-meat readers, you guys are so annoying with your constant denials and lies. "But sword b-b-b-b-bugs kill each other all the time over stupid things like a hole in the ground."
Yes they do kill each other every day in large quantities, but you know what they don't do? Is gut each other or for that matter torture people for months sometimes even years on end for some maniacally stupid reason like a bucket or a sheep or a bunch of stones stacked atop each other called castles.
Although an argument could be made for sea creatures, man dolphins and some whales can be real assholes. So I suppose I can throw you a rock, you do have some competition but when it comes to consistency and quantity you guys are definitely the bigger assholes.
"You can't honestly believe that dumb meat-bags are bigger meanies than demons"
Admittedly some demons are a cut above the rest, oddly some just cleave anything that's alive because they like it. But those demons are designed that way, what's your excuse? And no reader, humans aren't designed to be evil or assholes well except one in like a trillion but the same is true for demons so it cancels out. But you know what reader, I'll throw you a second rock because I am a benevolent sword who is both fair and reasonable. I'll agree you human-meat are at the most equal in your bloodlust to demon-meats (with the occasional notable exception as stated earlier).
As someone who has been alive and watching these meat-containers for about 100,000 or so years I can confidently say I am so over watching the same show over and over.
Oh what is little Timmy doing over there? Getting his first knife for his birthday? How lovely, I wonder if he's going to become a carver making artistic sculptures or maybe, nope, never mind he's killing someone.
What's that over there, is that a new little orc baby? Awe, it's so adorable with its little tusk, oh look it's got a ity bity spoon for it's adorably small hand how cute. Wait hang on baby- what are- oh thats just- what the fuck it's spooning out some poor goblins eyeball, like come on orc baby why you gotta go for the eyes anyways. Yuck, just yuck.
The worst part of it all was the more bored I became the more fascinated Amora seemed to be in these meatballs, specifically the human kind. She even started making her own from scratch, instead of just letting them just populate like normal. All of them were failures of course, she wasn't very good at it. That was until she finally made what she claimed was a perfect meat-bag.
Side note she called him a man but meat-bag is a better word since he was a meat-bag. And yes reader I will refer to most things as meat-bags even ones that slightly differ in look. I mean honestly reader the only difference between a man meat and a woman meat is a woman meat has to do that birth thing. Outside of that they are both a couple of meats as far as I can tell.
On a more interesting and funny note, It took the talentless Amora a thousand years to make this so-called perfect meat. Although on a less funny note at the time I didn't realize how unfavorable of a position this would put me in.
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