Capítulo 59: 57. Cece and Yoongi
29th, Wednesday Afternoon. April. 2015
I'd been snuggled up on my couch, feeling a bit out of it for a while now. That was until the ringtone of my phone caught my attention. I reached over to where it lay on the couch to answer it. At first glance, I didn't recognise the number but swiped the green circle, anyway.
Once I answered it, Cece's voice came from the other end. At first, it surprised me as to how she got my number. Apparently, after waking up this morning from her hangover and speaking with Wyniee, she'd caught wind of the incident I was caught up in last night. I reassured her I was alright, but I could tell it had done little to ease her worry. She asked if I was willing to meet up with her tonight, just so she could physically see if I was, in fact, ok. I didn't really feel up to going out, so instead I suggested that there was a quaint local bath house in my neighborhood that we could relax at which she was more than happy to take me up on. So, after setting up a time and hanging up, I messaged her the address and prepared for a nice afternoon soak at the baths.
I glanced at my phone one more time before leaving the house, just to check if any of the boys had texted me, but nothing. I hadn't heard from them since this morning, and, despite knowing they were busy, I still had a glimmer of hope that one of them might've messaged. Oh well, I pushed it aside and made my way over to the bathhouse next door, where, as soon as I turned out of my front gate, I could see Cece standing there. She wrapped me up in a hug upon seeing me, and once her worry had settled a little, we stepped on in.
We booked a private bathroom for the two of us. The smells of salts and minerals mingled with the layer of steam in the room's air. We both relaxed into the soothing heat of the waters. We settled by the glass window that looked out at the serene Zen garden at the center of the bathhouse. The heat of the water instantly relaxed my muscles. There was a brief silence at first as we rested our heads back and soaked up the relief and calm of the water.
But, as I stared at the dark wood of the ceiling, thoughts flittered through my mind. And, when I looked at Cece at hearing her hesitantly call my name, I knew I wasn't the only one. Despite having vague memories of what happened to me at All Black, the club we used to work at together, I asked her more about it. So, she told me. But that wasn't all. We spoke more about what happened to her after I'd left. How she'd been trapped working for Big Bang and YG. How she escaped and ended up with Bangtan and Seventh Heaven.
After I left the club, Cece felt trapped working there, even though at that point she wanted to leave. But she needed to be careful. Following the incident that happened to me, she sent me a message. But also to Yoongi too. She warned him of what she'd heard. At the time Yoongi had reassured her they were looking after me, and after that they fell out of touch for a while. Cece continued to be cautious, pretended to be unbothered by all the atrocities she'd witnessed while trapped there. It was hard on her, slowly but surely. It ate away at her. One faithful day, her way out appeared.
It was about a year later that she'd, by chance, bumped into Yoongi while at an event. One that she'd accompanied Big Bang to an award show. She wasn't feeling well and had left early, had gotten lost on the way out through the back of the venue when she'd bumped into him. They were both shocked. She tried to quickly leave, knowing that if anyone saw them talking, she would be reprimanded immediately.
But Yoongi stopped her and pulled her aside somewhere out of sight and asked her if she was alright. Cece describes that night as being close to her breaking point. She was made to fuck two Big Bangs' associates as a gift from them. She broke down and cried when Yoongi questioned her, and then Yoongi dragged her out of there and took her away.
He put her up at Seventh Heaven, a newly-opened club, and said they'd keep her safe and she could work there. That they'd never force her to do anything she didn't want to, and most importantly it was away from Big Bang. Yoongi had told Cece that Dae-Sung had tried to run him over, but when Cece had mentioned my name, Yoongi had turned ice cold and refused to discuss me outright. From then on, she worked at Seventh Heaven, and the rest is history.
After a long soak and discussion, I said goodnight to Cece and headed back home. It was already 10. Time had passed as we spoke, and it left me feeling dazed. I glanced over to see if the boys happened to be home, but there weren't any lights on at their house.
When I got home, I couldn't help but to think of everything Cece had shared with me. There was so much, and even in my absence, so much had come to pass. Life had just kept moving on. But, at the end of it all, I was relieved, after all her struggles, had perhaps by fate, ended up in the safety of the boys. And that I could see her again, after all this time.
As I slipped into something a bit more comfortable, I could feel that the minerals of the baths had softened my skin. It was pleasant there, and I was excited to maybe take the boys with me next time. Speaking of, I wonder where they are. It was late, and I still hadn't heard a thing.
I plopped down onto my couch and tried to give Yoongi a call. Part of me hadn't expected him to answer, so when he did, I scrambled and sat upright.
"Jia, are you alright? I'm on my way over. Are you home?"
"Yoongi, yeah I'm alright. Wait, you're coming over right now?"
"Yeah, why? What's wrong?"
"No, it's nothing. I'm just surprised. I haven't heard from anyone all day and then suddenly you're on the way here,"
"Mm. Sorry. We've been so busy all day, the only reason I'm allowed to slip out for a bit is to come and check on you before I have to head back. Ahhh." He let out a long sigh. "Alright, I'll see you soon. I'm hanging up."
I'd only sat down to look over some lyrics for five minutes until a knock on the door pulled me away to answer it. Yoongi seemed hasty when he called to say he was coming, which piqued my curiosity. I didn't know why, but I had a feeling something was up. Therefore, when he stepped inside and plopped down on the edge of my bed with a languid stretch followed by a sigh, I sat beside him and asked.
"Yoongi, is something up? You look a bit flustered." It might've just been the jam-packed schedule they had today, but the way he started biting at his lip was a dead giveaway that there was something on his mind.
"Am I being that obvious? Or maybe you just got better at reading the air over the years." Yoongi gave a snort.
"It was just a feeling. Maybe we share some telepathy." I mumbled, and he lent back, contemplating me for a moment before becoming more serious.
"Jia, I think we should try your idea."
"What?"
"Mm." The look in his eyes was direct. He was serious.
"Are you sure? Jin was so mad though, he hasn't changed his mind, has he?" I questioned.
"No. He hasn't. But," Yoongi remained silent for a second as though choosing his next words carefully. "I think it's what's best for all of us. For you to remember what happened. For us to finally deal with this."
"Yoongi.." I was stunned, despite being the one who'd proposed it to begin with, to think he was actually contemplating going through with it hit me differently. Yoongi went on. "I'm afraid that if we don't confront this, it'll eventually become our undoing and tear us apart."
Silence hung in the air, and I came to my senses. He was right. I took a deep breath to try to clear my mind. This wouldn't be without consequences, and my potential memories weren't all that was on the table.
"Yoongi.. If we do this without it being a unanimous decision, it could cause a fight.. I don't want that.."
"I know. But that's something we'll just have to deal with when the time comes." He awkwardly glanced away for a moment. What was he thinking? "Jia. I'm not the only one who thinks we should try it. Jimine does too."
"Seriously? That's not the impression I got this morning."
"Yeah, I was just as surprised when he came to talk to me about it today, too. But, he said when you declared you trusted us with your life, he was really touched. I mean, I was too.." He looked away and scratched at the back of his head a little awkwardly.
My insides twisted, it was double-edged. Bittersweet. Yoongi was so precious to me, I had such overwhelming affection for him. But, the thought of him choosing to force himself onto me because he reciprocated my sentiments. Was it the ultimate form of true love, or was it completely fucked up and I'd just become such a scarred human that I could even think that? Could think putting Yoongi through something just as potentially traumatizing for him as I'd been through could somehow be for a greater deed.
It was true, asking this of him was twisted in so many ways. Justification. Could it ever be justified? Surely, this was something neither of us could ever take back if we were to go through with it. Irreversible. But Yoongi believed it was necessary, and in my heart, so did I.
—-----
After Yoongi left, I crawled into bed and switched off the light. I lay there in the dark. At first it was pitch black, but after a while my eyes adjusted and I could see the room, overcast by shadows but clearly.
There wasn't a sound to be heard as I lay there alone. It was quiet and still. It was lonely.
A faint feeling blew past like a breeze as my mind drifted back to when the boys had all been huddled in bed with me. They'd been right here beside me. The ghost of their presence remained. A sadness crept in and spread out over my heart. I lay with it until I fell asleep.
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