Capítulo 16: Stakes

"I've always wanted to fall," Adam remembered the words of someone he once knew, someone lost to the whims of time. Their conversation resounded in his head, and his eyes kept staring at nothingness, fingers clenched but holding onto nothing.

"Hey. You look a little lost," Crystal said, sitting beside him. It was the first light of dawn, and Adam had been living in the pocket world for a month. At first, he worried about Alan and the others he didn't know, the people he couldn't reach. But then, he decided to become stronger to ensure that he never had to feel so useless anymore.

"How'd you notice?" Adam asked without turning around. Strangely, he was beginning to miss home. If that death trap could be called a home. Or maybe he just missed Selene; he couldn't tell. There were so many maybes it was hard to pinpoint what he was truly feeling.

But, there was a lethargy consuming his body and mind. It was eroding his sense of self. He'd been in the pocket world, and still no changes. Nobody talked about leaving; there weren't even insinuations of that fact. It was as though The Renegades didn't deserve their name.

"You just kept staring into the distance, unmoving. Even though you should be at least wary of the darkness, you were here while it was still dark, and a sliver of light shone through. What are you looking at? Tell me, show me." Crystal cradled his face gently, but Adam didn't lean into it. She was that way with everybody in The Renegades, their very own mother.

He didn't need a babysitter.

"Don't you ever want to leave here? I know it can be beautiful, but don't you ever wish to get back at those who put you here? You've suffered, haven't you? Don't you hate them for everything they did to you? They walked over you and treated you like the dirt underneath the soles of their shoes. Aren't you angry?"

Adam was fuming, his eyes coming alight with the dawn. Crystal stared at him, unsure of what to say. She could feel a wave of angst coming off him, enough to blot out common sense.

"I am angry, but what would that solve?" She tucked a loose strand of hair behind her ears; Adam noticed that she only did that when worried or uneasy.

"Do you remember the first time you met Esme, Darkus, and Cincinnati?" A smile played at the edge of her lips, and even though there was nothing to be joyful about, Adam could feel his face form a smile whether he wanted it to or not.

"Darkus wanted to beat you to the ground; he thought you hurt Esme. And Cincinnati, she wanted to fling you at the sun. Do you see how much they love Esme? And they're not the only ones; Gilgamesh would die for her, too. We were once children, so we understand how much more brutal this world can be for lonely children. You talk about revenge, about war, and death. You talk about grandiose plans of warfare. But," Crystal paused, her voice going low enough for Adam to strain his ears just to hear her.

"Are you ready to lose everything? You're not going to fight with a bunch of inexperienced men; you're going to war against the forces that define what this world is. Are you ready to throw all your progress to the dogs and pursue the thing that'll kill you? Or will you protect Esme, just like we do?"

Crystal walked away after patting him twice on the back, and when Adam looked back, Cincinnati was glaring at him, daring him to come even a step closer. She didn't trust him, which was expected since he was an outsider.

"Uh, hi?" He decided to reach out first, hand out the olive branch, and see what happens in the long run.

"I don't trust you. If you harm even a hair on Crystal's or Esme's heads… I'll put a stake through your heart and display it for all to see. You're not one of us; you'll never be. If you forget your place, I'll remind you." In a flash, she was wielding a deathly scythe with a wickedly sharp blade. She placed it over her shoulder in a caress, and her eyes bore into Adam's soul, rooting out his insincerity.

"Just give me one reason. One." She sliced the air, and the whooshing sound almost sent Adam toppling over the cliff's edge, where he watched the sunrise.

She must have felt pretty proud of herself because he walked away after that without so much as an apology. It was awful, but Adam couldn't fault her for it at all. She was defending what was precious to her.

Is anything precious to me?

The thought haunted him for a long time after that, and all he could see was the avenger clad in white and black, wielding a scythe a little more giant than her body, and with the darkest shade of brown eyes he'd ever seen.

When she looked at him, his body system screamed at him to run. Where he was from in the City of Selene, he was a renowned hood rat and fierce in battles. But in the pocket world, he's not even enough to rattle a single person. Even Alan wasn't scared of him, just bored.

I need to understand these people.

Darkus hadn't talked to him yet, which was understandable. But what was worse was that Darkus didn't mistreat him, no. To Darkus, Adam didn't exist. He'd never acknowledged that a person was speaking and always carried on as usual.

It stung, but what was Adam supposed to do? Force him? He couldn't do that; that was against his ethics.

I must get to know everyone or all this would have been for naught.

[CONGRATULATION, YOUR WILL GROWS STRONGER]

[WHEN YOU COME ACROSS LOW-LEVEL BEAST, YOU CAN ENFORCE YOUR WILL]

..but I didn't do anything, though.

Adam found it curious. He considered letting the strange voice in his head be, but he was intrigued still.

"What form can you take?" He asked, merely curious. He didn't expect a response.

[WHATEVER FORM YOU DESIRE, I CAN RECREATE]

So, I'm talking to the voice in my head.

"Okay, why not become an Esme look-alike? She is still wary of me," Adam's voice came out full of remorse, even if he didn't know why. Esme was a child thrust into a world even Adam couldn't have survived without the help of Crystal. Someone wanted her dead. And they wanted to see her suffer, too.

[I HAVE TAKEN A FORM IDENTICAL TO ESME, A COMPANION]

Adam stumbled back as a bright light shimmered in his vision and suddenly began to take form.

"Esme?" Adam asked tentatively, struck dumb by the phenomenon happening before him. And indeed, Esme was standing before him, or was it hovering?

[IS THAT THE NAME YOU WISH TO CALL ME?]

The formal speech started getting on Adam's nerves, and he wondered how he could turn it off.

"There has to be a goddamn function to turn this to informal speech; I'm not going to keep talking like I'm speaking to an officer of the law when I've done nothing wrong.

[WOULD YOU LIKE TO TURN ON HUMAN MODE?]

It was ambiguous, but the words were coming out of the hologram's vocal cord, and this time, it was taking the form of Esme.

"Yes!" He screamed, almost wanting to shake it by the shoulders, but his hands just phased through.

"Hello, my name is S." The voice was… informal. Adam couldn't believe his bluff worked.

"Isn't this too unreal? Can you take the forms of other people for research? I'm not planning to do anything weird, though," Adam hurriedly corrected himself once he realized his earlier statement could have been misconstrued.

"Affirmative. What form would you prefer?" Adam was at a loss for words.

But one thing was sure… he would learn to interact with everyone even if it killed him.

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