Capítulo 151: Fatties are definitely not good people...

On the last episode of The Last Blood Elf!

Cross destroyed a few worlds when he was abducted by a giant dragon! The dragon told him he wasn't funny and he had to choose whether to take his family with him! What will he do!? We'll be back after a commercial break.

"Hi, my name is Ricky Bobby. If you don't chew Big Red then fuck you."

AND were back!

Cross looked at the Dragon and said "They're coming with me." the Azure Dragon said "Are you sure? They could quite possibly die. Even if they're in that inner world of yours." Cross waved his fist saying "These little vixen, if I die they're coming with me!" the rest gave him a look and he added "If not then I'll climb out of hell and find them!"

Luna, Jasmine, Feng Xue'er, and Jie Yuan smiled warmly, while the kids shook their heads. The Azure Dragon grinned and Cross said shamelessly "Anyway, big dragon guy, you must have some gifts for me right?" he rubbed his hands greedily and everyone's smile dropped, Yuanyuan spat "So shameless!"

Lily jumped up saying "Yaya! Big dragon grandpa! You got gifts?!" The Azure Dragon choked and said "Do I look like a kind grandpa to you?" Cross and Lily nodded seriously, while the rest covered their faces in shame. The Azure Dragon trembled, it was unknow if he was laughing o was angry as he said "You little brats! No respect at all! The last brat that I brought here treated me so well!"

Cross said "Maybe because you gave him something?" Lily pointed "Oi! I want a gift! Don't make me beat you up! Just something small! How can you be so stingy!" Cross coughed and Lily immediately pouted saying "Grandpa Dragon, Lily has been a good girl. Won't you give her a gift? Pwease?" she took out all the stops! The puppy dog eyes, the quivering lips, the shimmering tear drops in her eyes, even the slightly trembling body and red eyes!

Cross gave her a huge thumbs up, that's my girl!

The Azure Dragon looked away saying "W-What do you want!" Lily just pouted harder and the Azure Dragon shouted "Fine! Fine! Okay! Stop looking at me like that!" his whiskers moved and a pair of azure gloves landed in Lily's hands.

Lily drooled a bit before wiping her lips with her sleeve and putting on the gloves, waving her fists around excitedly. Cross coughed and the Azure Dragon said "Don't go too far!" Yuanyuan sniffed and said "Nothing for Yuanyuan?" The Azure Dragon was going crazy, he sent them all back to Cross' inner world and his eyes flashed on Cross' body before saying "Happy now?! Go scram! Get out of here! Damnit! Even my scales will be plucked clean if you stay any longer!"

The Void Beast glowed before elongating, the shell melted into scales with a spiked spine, it's body grew longer and coiled around itself becoming a Dragon-like beast! It was now a Divine Void Dragon! Cross grinned and said "Thank you, Dragon uncle!" the Azure Dragon spat and Cross flashed away as he said "Damn kids..."

Cross smashed into the ground in front of a giant school, a ton of people looked at him in disgust. He got up and shouted "You fucking Dragon! Come out for this daddy! I'll rip your whiskers off!" he had a vague feeling the Azure Dragon was laughing at him. He was enraged but he stopped and turned his head to a guy who was looking at him.

Their eyes both narrowed at the same time and they went to the Academy to register, keeping their gazes on each other. Cross grabbed a kid and said "You! How do you register for this place?!" the kid pointed to the giant jade slab, Cross let him got and sneered at the guy who was looking at him.

They both went to the Jade slab, he guy reached out his hand and Cross slapped his hand away, going to touch the slab, but the guy slapped his hand and touched the slab. Cross grinded his teeth and touched the slab, a ton of information went straight to his brain.

Apparently, this place was Lingxiao Academy, blah blah blah, oldest academy, blah blah blah, free immortal language learning. He got all the information he needed and walked away, but the guy actually followed him!

They got in line and the guy asked the woman in front of them "Excuse me, beautiful fairy. How long have you been queuing up here?" the girl smiled happily and said "3 months. Though it's very expensive.. I can lend it you the money if you like." everybody gasped.

The fee was really expensive! To help someone she didn't even know, this woman was a good person. The guy smiled and another man sneered "Fairy, you shouldn't help these mortals. They're not worth it."

The guy looked at the woman and smiled lightly "Thank you miss but you'll be losing prestige talking to people like him." the man was enraged and snarled "Who do you think you're talking t-" Cross watched as the guy flashed and gave him a slap.

Cross gasped and said "What!?" the guy said fearfully "Thank god these immortal people are tough! I almost killed him with that slap!" the man who got slapped looked awful, he pointed and said "Yo-" Cross moved like a ghost and slapped the man again.

His slap was much heavier and smashed him to the ground. The guy looked at Cross and a small grin appeared on his face, Cross dusted his hands and said "So strange, what day do people take out the garbage here? They missed some."

Two people in silver armor appeared and said "What's going on here?!" Cross pointed to the man on the ground and said "This trash can with legs insulted the fairy and this guy behind me. Naturally, the guy slapped him, then I gave him another for good measure."

The silver armored guard looked at Cross, he guy, and the trash can with legs and said coldly "You've been disqualified from the examination." the trash can shouted "It's not fair!" the guy laughed and said "Fair? Of course it's fair. There are rules. I didn't plan to sign up anyways."

Cross looked at the kid on the floor and kicked him in the mouth before walking away, the guy laughed and followed him.

The duo walked in silence before seeing another line and walking towards it. The man looked at them both and said "Age?" The guy scratched his head and said "I forgot." Cross shrugged and said "I don't even know my birthday." the old man's face fell, where did these two clowns come from? One was wearing a tattered black robe and the other was wearing strange clothes but he had pink fluffy bunny slippers on, which seemed to be in perfect condition.

Of course they were! This was the first gift from his kid! If he destroyed it, he wouldn't have a place to cry! He was actually super careful with these slippers. He even put several enchantments and blessings on them to make sure they never even got dirty.

The old man shouted "Are you fools?! Don't even know your age! There's a Bone Age test over there!" the guy and Cross gave him a look and the old man nearly had a heart attack and died. He saw an entire world filled his blood and corpses with a black sun burning brightly in the sky!

The guy and Cross left to the Bone Age test. The guy did his first and he was 31. Cross did his and apparently he was 32! Cross and the guy were confused. They were definitely older than that. The guy suddenly went to the bathroom and Cross looked at him funnily, his Law already purified all his Qi/Energy since a long time ago. This guy goes to shit and comes back a new man?!

The man came back and they were at a new table, the man there said "Name?" the guy said "Long Chen." Cross said "Cross." the man sneered and said "Too old." Long Chen and Cross were stunned, Cross said "You're like over 100 years old and you're calling me old?! One of my wives is over 5 million years old and she looks better than you, do you believe it?!"

Long Chen looked at him with his mouth open wide, Cross was really angry, this old fuck dared to call him old! The man was stunned and Cross took the tea pot on his desk and smashed it against the man's head before grabbing Long Chen's hand and beating the table in half as he said "That it out of our paycheck, you old fuck."

Cross walked away to the Probationary office, Long Chen laughed and followed him, feeling that they were like minded people. He also wanted to know about that slapping technique! Cross and Long Chen got waist tags, they walked into the building and saw a bunch of people looking at them nervously.

Cross frowned and Long Chen said "Ah, you got it wrong. I'm not the Chief Examiner, but the Deputy Examiner. The exam has been cancelled for today, you may all go." the workers let out a breath of relief and all left.

Cross sat down with Long Chen and said "Who are you?" Long Chen smiled and said "Long Chen." Cross hummed and said "You have an Inner world?" as he pointed at Long Chen's Dantian, Long Chen frowned and said "How do you know. Who are you?" Cross rolled his eyes and said "I'm Cross." he waved and a crack appeared as he said "I have an inner world too."

Long Chen was stunned and Cross closed it before the kids could come out as he added "Anyway, Nice to meet you." Long Chen shook his hand and said "Likewise." Cross smiled slightly and a fat man 'rolled' into the room.

The fat man said "Just two??" Long Chen and Cross nodded and the Fat man said "You're smart people, unlike those others. You get the chance to become a disciple for only 10 years salary." Cross and Long Chen's faces fell, what kind of pit was this?

The fat man gave them a thumbs up and said "I'll take care of all the formalities for you. In the future if you're tight for money, the interest rate will be the lowest!" Long Chen greeted all the Fat man's family, women, and ancestors. Cross just looked at the Fat man and felt a strong urge to twist him for juice.

Long Chen said directly "I'll borrow 2000 Immortal crystals." Cross added "Yeah me too." the fat man smiled and gave it to them. The duo smiled but inside they were sneering "The money that I, Third Master Long/Lord Fifth, take never comes back." the fat man was so happy he directly have them a jade token for the examination and only 50% interest rate!

50%! What kind of joke was this? Where did this guy come from? A circus?

Was it 50% each hour as well? No wonder this guy was so fat.

Regardless of the fat man's cholesterol levels the examination was 3 days later.

3 days passed

Cross and Long Chen were staring at a paper with black faces. What kind of questions were these? The time of the ancient war, the location of the war between gods and demons, and the characters who reversed the war situation, and so on. There were dozens of other categories, geography, history, music, art, calligraphy, dancing, etc.

Did he accidentally come to a Courtesan school? Why the fuck would he need to know how to dance? He was good at killing and scheming! Not dancing and music! He could whistle and hum was that good enough? Did they have an oral exam where they had to perform as well?

He used his magic to spy on Long Chen's paper, but this guy didn't know anything either! Though his alchemy sheet was full. Cross directly copied off him as he had no idea how to perform alchemy, but he would figure it out later. First copy then think of a solution.

Cross handed in the Alchemy Sheet with Long Chen and left the rest on the desk. They were blank, was he supposed to fill in nonsense?

The duo left the examination hall, they still had to wait for the results. Long Chen borrowed more and more money from the Fat man, who sneakily raised the price but it didn't matter. He was never getting his money back anyway.

Cross just gave all his money to Long Chen, he didn't need it really, then he went to borrow from the fat man, taking thousands and thousands of crystals from him until he was cut off. Cross erased the fat man's memory and borrowed more and more, sucking the fatty completely dry.

He was helping him, okay! Less money means he has to budget, which means he'll eat less therefore losing weight! This was Cross' platinum weight loss program!

Needless to say the fat man turned into the poor man before the results of the examination was out.

Long Chen and Cross went to go check only to find out they failed. The fat man gloated "No worries, you can try aga-" Long Chen grabbed his neck and said "One more word and I'll flay your skin!" Cross was already above him with a black lotus in his hand, both their killing intent burst out and flooded the fat man.

The fat man had never been so scared and as a result shat himself. A voice came "Who is Long Chen and Cross?" the duo looked over at the man and said in unison "Us."