Capítulo 58: attemted explanation and a battle of wit
I broke from my thoughts, as the sounds of panicked voices came from behind me, where I had forgotten about my two ' very human, and completely normal companions', who were still in the camp.
'Fuuuck' I thought, as I remembered their presence.
Slowly making my way back to the camp, I started to think of things to say to them, that might explain to them what just happened.
Stepping into the small opening, and into the camp's fire light, my presence became known to both John and Henry at the same time.
Both of them were in the middle of a rather loud argument, when my blood covered figure emerged from the dark forest surrounding them.
Henry and John both turned to face me and promptly lost their minds.
"AHHHH!!!!" Henry screamed as he backed away from me, but ended up bumping into the also screaming John, who was standing behind him, causing them to fall to the ground.
"Don't eat our souls!" John cried out, as he covered his face and head with his arms, while Henry used both of his pointer fingers to make a cross, as he prayed loudly.
The cacophony of noise they made, made me wince at their raised, and panicked voices.
Looking to the side of the camp, I saw the cart horse munching away at some dry grass.
Getting tired of the noise coming from the two, I shouted.
"Will the both of you shut your air holes!"
Both of them went dead silent, as they looked at me.
I raised my hand, to stop Henry from speaking.
"shhhhh…Not a word." I said.
Shutting his mouth again, I waited to see if either would try and speak again.
When neither did, I let out a sigh.
"At least let me clean up, before the both of you start asking questions." I said, walking past them, and to my previously seated spot.
Stepping over the dead body of a werewolf, I sat back down on my log, and started taking off my tunic and other bloody clothes.
It took me about ten minutes before I was charged and cleaned up, using water from our water skins to clean myself.
Now, seated by the fire in some clean clothes, I looked over the fire where both John, and Henry had seated themselves, right next to each other, neither of them looking away from me.
Raising my hands I said.
"Ask away"
While I had been changing into some new clothes I had decided to just tell them part of the truth, because my brain was completely blank, when I tried to think up an excuse for what had happened, and figured, if they were to tell others, they wouldn't be believed.
"Are you a soldier of the devil?" Henry asked first.
I shook my head. "No, I'm not." I said.
"Are you a witch?" John asked.
"No, and the male term is wizard. Witches are female, while wizards are male." I said.
They both let out gasps.
"Only a witch would know that." Henry said, with fear.
I looked at him.
"I am not a witch, I am human, just like you." I said.
"lier, you be a demon from the fires of hell, sent to destroy us, and eat all of our souls!" Henry said.
I smacked my forehead, and let out a sigh.
"Look, the both of you dimwits, I am not a demon, I am a human, with…abilities."
"What did you just call us!" John said, angered.
"You heard my words, and if you two don't…oh, what's the point, the both of you don't even have a single brain cell between the both of you to make a sandwich." I said, in eritation.
"Is that a slur," John said as he stood to his feet, with Henry hot on his heels to follow his lead.
"Because I'll let you know, I've been in a few dust ups in my time, and I haven't lost a one, but if you slur our mums again, we can have a go." John said, raising his fists, ready to fight.
"Yeah, don't slur our mums" Henry added, at John's side, also raising his fists for a fight.
I couldn't help but let out a rocus laugh.
The two of them looked like children getting ready for a school yard brawl.
Both of them had their thumbs in their palms, with the rest of their fingers covering them to make fists, and the clear fear in their eyes only made it funnier.
'either these two really don't have a brain cell between them, or they have bigger gonads then brains.' I thought, as I brought my laughter under control.
"Aye, don't laugh, your life be on the end of a tether here and now." Henry said, as he moved his fist in a circle.
Again I let out a laugh, but while I wiped a tear from the corner of my eye, I slowly stood up and looked at them.
"I meant no disrespect." I told them.
Both John and Henry looked at each other, then back at me.
"Really?" Henry said in confusion.
I nodded my head.
"Really."
At my words, they slowly lowered their hands.
"Good" John said, with a sniff, while he crossed his arms over his chest.
I let a small smile spread across my face, at his words.
"Now, let me put this in a way both of you can understand, 'mayhaps God fashioned thee both with the wit of turnips and the visages of mangy cur's.'
Both John and Henry looked to be shell shocked.
"WHAT!" John shouted, with anger, as he rolled up his sleeves, ready for a fight.
"Wait, John!" Henry said, grabbing ahold of John's arm.
Once John had stopped, Henry turned to look at me, then taking a wired pose, with one leg bent, and one hand under his chin, he said.
"thy mind is as dull as a worn out plow, unable to cultivate a single intelligent thought, but thou, be…be, uhh."
Again I couldn't hold back my laughter at Henry's failed attempt.
"You flea, you forgot how it went." John whispered into Henry's ear.
Turning to face John, Henry whispered back.
"I couldn't help it, it was too long to remember."
John grabbed Henry by his tunics caller, and said.
"But we been practicing for nearly a full moon, how could you forget?" he angrily asked Henry.
"Like I said, it's too long to remember, and if you wish to belittle me, the least you can do is tell me how it's supposed to go." Henry shot back.
"It's supposed to go, uh, it's supposed to go like…" John said, as he looked up in thought.
Henry pointed his finger at John.
"You have also forgotten." he said angrily at John.
"Have not" he said back.
"Have too."
"Have not."
"Have too."
"Have not" John said, this time pushing Henry back a step.
"Have too." Henry said, pushing John back twice as hard.
"You little, rotten little." John stammered, as he rushed Henry, tackling him to the ground.
All throughout there whispered argument, to their shoving match, and now fight.
I had been listening, and laughing like a mad man at them, off to the side.
Watching them roll around on the ground, I couldn't help but fall over laughing.
The two of them were just like little kids.
The way they argued, all the way to how they fought each other, I couldn't help but laugh at them.
After a minute of rolling on the ground, I finally managed, with a great amount of willpower, to get my laughter under control.
Sitting up, I wiped the streams of tears away with the sleeves of my tunic, before standing up again.
By this point, both John and Henry weren't even fighting anymore, but were instead, just laying on the ground, breathing hard, and throwing insults at each other.
"Alright, Alright, that's enough, we have gone way beyond topic." I said, as I sat back on the fallen log.
Slowly, and with a bit of difficulty, John and Henry, sat up, and made their way back to the fire, where they both plopped back down, both of them still breathing hard.
"Right, where were we?" I asked myself.
"Witches." John said, as he pulled some grass from his hair.
"Right," I said, snapping my fingers.
"Like I had been saying before, I am not a witch nor a wizard, I am human, with a few abilities."
Neither John, nor Henry, said anything, and instead stayed silent at my words, both too exhausted from their three minute brawl.
"Very good, any questions?" I asked.
"What "abilities" do you have?" Henry asked.
"Good question, well, I'm Stronger and faster than ten men." I said proudly.
Both John and Henry looked at me with unbelieving eyes.
"Sure,"
I shrugged my shoulders and stood.
Going to the cart, I picked up from the back, an ax with a metal top.
Going back to my seat, I handed it to them.
"Is the ax head metal?" I asked.
Both of them looked at, and then tested the ax, Making sure it was real.
After a few moments, they handed it back.
"It's real." Henry said.
"Good" I said simply, before grabbing the top with both hands, and twisted.
The ax head turned, as if it was rubber in my grip, before it broke in two.
Both John and Henry stared wide eyed and opened mouthed at what I had just done.
"My goodness." John said in amazement.
After a moment of silence, John asked.
"If you are a regular man like us, then how did you get your abilities?" He asked with a raised eyebrow.
This is where I was going to use their faith against them.
With a wide smile, I said.
"God."
Both of their eyes went wide.
"GOD!" Both John and Henry wide eyed said in unison.
I nodded my head.
"That's right." I said with a smile.
Henry leaned over to John and whispered into his ear.
"don't listen to him, it's all lies, he must be a demon from hell sent to test our faith. As long as we stay true, God will protect us." He said, nodding his head.
I couldn't help but smack my forehead again.
'This is going to be a long night.' I thought, before speaking again.
And just decided to use the biggest card I had.
I am "The Adam" card.
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Another chapter down
Word- 1,868
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[A/N]
This chapter shows how dimwitted both John and Henry can be, but to be fair most people of the time would probably act the same in their circumstances, minus the whole word bit, that just shows how goofy they can be, and acts as a kind of character development for the two in later chapters.
Of course they will only be in this miny arc, but who knows, they might reappear in another adventure down the road.
In the next chapter the MC is going to start the hunt, so stay tuned for the next chapter.
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