Capítulo 49: Raid-Boss Wishomoppu (6)
The tsundere, sadist meteor with low self-esteem had realized it had been led on. Full of anger it turned around and flew into the far distance until the behemoth of filth was nowhere to be seen. Hopefully, this time it would be gone for good and not return to ruin the mood.
Seeing the big attack leave caused the Beeg Psycho to shed many tears─ still flexing his muscles though, but he was sad as he did it.
Said sadness somehow disappeared in seconds as he realized another entertaining thing to do. Yes, the Beeg Psycho had begun to do push-ups and other fancy workout exercises.
All the while murdering the smaller copies through the various athletic movement of his body.
But as per usual, this was done on accident and not to strengthen the already overpowered Mop. The Big Guy was simply way too busy testing the limits of the newfound power to be bothered by literally anything else.
These smaller guys just so happened to be in the way and thus they became as flat as a pancake. They were simply the victim of cruel physics and this horrible thing called gravity.
By the way, did you know why the ugly meteor could not come down to earth? Cuz even gravity was not attracted to it. There ain't no well in Hell that any earth would let it smash.
Did you know that meteors had large families and many friends? Yeah, before making those jokes I had not known either. But after seeing the entire distant sky filled with meteoroids I came to realize that they were really vengeful.
In the far distance, they lurked, merely waiting for the right moment to strike. The insulted meteor had even brought its mother, a gargantuan monstrosity wearing a pink hat and plenty of make-up. The father, an even bigger construct of pure filth waited just behind them glaring at the horde of humans that had insulted its youngest.
At least, I thought it was the father... there was no way to tell since a meteor certainly did not conform to gender stereotypes.
Truth be told, all I saw was a literal sea of large objects flying in the sky.
It was just much more fun to believe that this one there was a Mom meteor, a grandma meteor, a distant cousin, a cousin twice removed, the sister, the brother, the step-sisters and hot Step-moms and dads, the adopted orphan, the uncle, the aunt, the grandpa, the great-grandpa and grandmas, the brother and sisters-in-law and so many more.
Everything was much funnier when seen through the eyes of a human. They might be a clan or just friends, in the end, they all wanna come crashing down and send our virgin butts to the shadow realm.
Such a plan was not very nice; as such all the fused psychopaths stopped the infighting and looked at the new threat, which had emerged from the cosmos.
It did not take long before the rocks from space decided it was time to crash the party and made their way down as fast as they could.
In response, every single fused copy walked in front of the Titan and together they would fight against the invaders from outer space. At least that was my initial view...here I thought, they would act civilized for once.
No, these lunatics had actually lined up, just so that our Beeg Psycho could take a few steps back and literally launch the subjects into the meteoroids with a well-timed kick.
Much like rockets, the projectiles shot into the heavens and only the distant sound of explosions confirmed that their encounter had been a success.
The fate of the launched naked men was unknown, but their heroic spirit would live on in all of us. Their destiny would lead them to the furthest corners of the universe. As long as nobody made contact with a sun or a black hole... everything would be just fine, aside from the occasional excruciating death in the vacuum of space.
This marked the beginning of the great Men vs Meteors war─the biggest crisis the Endless Grasslands faced so far. It was men versus big, filth rocks from space.
The tactic of hurling naked fused clones proved to be very successful as more and more participants were eager to beat up the gigantic enemy in the sky. The bravado of these men was only met by their innate insanity.
On the other hand, the exposition dude and I were currently playing dead so as to not end up as ammunition for the Beeg Psycho. The all-inclusive trip to space was definitely not worth it.
A wonder in itself, the dude had finally managed to shut that damn trap of his.
At long last, there was the silence I had been begging for ages for. Violence once more proved to be the answer to life's problems.
Had the fella continued to talk for a few more minutes; I swear, I would have been the first to volunteer and would be yeeted into the stratosphere simply to escape from the endless blabbering.
Don't get me wrong, if there was a way to only launch my talkative clone into the vastness of space, then I would have done that in a heartbeat. But a psycho was still a psycho and I was just an author.
And so I just kept all my anger to myself and hoped for these savages to kill the sentient Mop as soon as possible. You see, that was the problem in a nutshell. Expecting anything from my creation was the biggest mistake one could make.
The same applied to most people that came here with high hopes for a good story─only disappointment remained.
Though now that I was truly thinking about it; did I truly have any expectations, to begin with? This masterpiece of writing had been dropped and forgotten about for many reasons. One of them was the sheer difficulty of writing something so insanely dumb in a sophisticated manner.
Imagine actually taking yourself seriously as an author, only to write a story like this. Could not be me. #killmenow #endmysuffering #givemeallyourpowerstones,
Instead of being a jaded, cynical asshole writer with quality writing, I chose to be a jaded, cynical asshole writer with bad writing.
Thus causing a chain reaction that led to me being held hostage by my own abandoned former works. Yeah, regardless of what I did, there was no winning for me. Unless being at risk to meet a meteor head first would count as a win.
Then, by any means, a lot of psychos were currently winners in my book.
Speaking of winning, could I win a short trip into another universe of mine?
This fight had to end soon. I still had a lot of others cringe stories of mine to go through.
And I was not going to spend any more time here than necessary...
Estado de energía semanal
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