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Sweetener (GirlxGirl) Original

Sweetener (GirlxGirl)

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"What the hell do you think you're doing?"

My heart stopped and my entire being froze upon hearing that. I recognized that voice. That was Blair Westwood's voice.

"O-Oh my G- I am so s-sorry, Blair. I didn't mean to do that. I should've watched where I was going." I gulped the large lump that formed in the back of my throat and my eyes casted down on the floor.

Silence filled the air between us, and as the minutes passed, the antsier I got to leave. I wanted to walk out, but I knew the second-in-command was hot on my trail. Wait.

I was stuck in the bathroom with the HBIC of all people, while Delilah Santiago was also after me. Realization hitting, I looked up to meet the piercing green eyes of the she-devil herself.

-

From a young age, Blair Westwood had been wired to thrive on pain and destruction. She was the queen bee, the head cheerleader that striked fear into the hearts of many. However, when her eyes capture the gaze of a certain volleyball captain, all that she's ever known suddenly becomes a lie. Her empire is threatened as she battles against the norms forced on her by society along with finding out the truth about her sexuality.


©givenchytearss 2018

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ThoughtsroamGuy

The author tells a raunchy tale of two high school girls, just out of each other’s orbits; set on a course to collide. The switching POV is done well to let’s us get both sides of the story, which I’m surprised isn’t a more common thing in romance stories, but that’s an aside. The other characters we meet remind us that Blair and Whitney aren’t in their own world and make up this town of Belleview. Blair commands an interesting use of High English without sounding anachronistic or cringey. No doubt a result of her upbringing. The juxtaposition of her advanced vocabulary to Whitney’s more plain speech is a good way to distinct their narratives. I was quite surprised by the elevation in the mature nature of the story, I just binge read this so I don’t remember the exact chapter but I remember there not being any curses; to the characters cursing in conversation and internally and that explicit wet dream. Not that it’s a problem or anything I just noticed the nsfw dial being turned up a notch so to speak. You make it work well. Overall, your sentence fluidity is very good and you smoothly tell the story; there’s a few instances where I’d suggest different words and there are only a couple of spelling errors but those don’t negatively impact the readability of your story. You’re very brave for opening up about your eating disorder as it reflects on Whitney’s being. It’s done without romanticizing it or playing it down as a minor thing as eating disorders can and have ruined people’s lives; I feel many writers give a character an eating disorder as just a means of adding a layer of trauma to to them without fully realizing the damage it can do. But you address quite well. To wrap this review up, this is quite the interesting story and I’m eager to see where it leads to; I get the feeling that this is gonna have some more twists and turns and you’re gonna take us readers through the wringers before the main characters get together. I look forward to reading more, and from a fellow writer I applaud you for updating regularly. Can’t wait to read more!

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5yr
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Alexiswins

Its actually pretty awesome, I love the story. And I want more to chapters!!!! Freaking great,just read the story and give a good review!

5yr
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MushRoom84

I loved the concept, the order of the story, the strong persona of Blair and the athlete star Whitney... Every chapter leaves the reader to look forward of what will happened next.. If you're an avid yuri reader I suggest you'll read this one though our author is quite busy in reality to update so I guess let's just wait for the meantime..

5yr
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Veronica8

A unique hidden gem on Webnovel. Sure this story has same *** elements, but it's far more than that. The characters are real, well balanced and drive the story. There's some sweet and sultry moments to leave you turning the page for more. The dynamics are cleverly executed. It's a well written story. For those readers screaming out for something original, fresh and with a bit of bite. Try this story. Dare original and be surprised.

5yr
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