Capítulo 80: Get the f*ck out of my house
"Come on Sara, they don't bite"
"Of course they do! We have been in a civil war with the Resistance for years!".
"Well, Gorou is like a dog, probably he DOES bite".
"Kenshin-"
"I don't remember asking for my assistant's opinion".
"Kenshin! Respect the Shogun".
"I respect myself to a point you wouldn't understand, after all, you have no self-respect at all, simp".
"Kenshin!"
"There is no Kenshin here anymore, only a tyrant with too much power in his hands, and too much imagination to use it correctly".
Kenshin, Sara and Ei were alone going to meet the Resistance, and as you are hearing, Kenshin was a bit 'happy' with his new position.
"Here we are" said Sara with a grim face and in guard.
"Sara, you are too stupid to be human. I always knew that 'bird-brain' was an insult, and I finally know why" said Kenshin with a disdainful look directed at Sara. "I can see everyone in 500 meters around me, and my assistant is stronger than the whole Resistance put together and multiplied a few times. What do you think your useless bow is going to do?".
Sara looked at the ground in embarrassment.
"In fact, despite being the General you are the most useless one here, I AM the power and my assistant is the brawn. In fact times two, I don't think we need a General anymore, we don't even need the army, only the police" Kenshin said with a pondering look.
"What are you going to do if another country attacks us?" said Ei with a disapproving face.
"That's why you and your overpowered stick are here, just start another storm and sink them before they arrive. And we need to economize for a few years, and the army is spending a lot. Too much in my opinion" Kenshin said. He almost fainted seeing how much the army spent.
He trusted Sara and knew that corruption wasn't necessarily the cause. The army, by its nature, was expensive.
"Ah, someone is coming" said Kenshin and in about a minute, the 'enemy' arrived.
"Stop right there" he said, surprising everyone here.
"You...came here to fight?. Not to talk?" a confused Kenshin asked. Why did he come to fight in a 3v1?
"Of course not! I am a proud member of the Resistance, I will not let you goons of the Shogun put a foot in our land!" the guy shouted in excitement. It looked like he was enjoying saying these things.
"But we are more" insisted Kenshin. He felt stupid, and he didn't like it.
"Heh, 2 women and a blind guy, not even a challenge" he said, adopting a position even Kenshin knew was stupid had he been able to see it.
Kenshin finally exhaled, relieved. He was not the stupid one here. You only had to look at Ei's and Sara's feelings at being dismissed for being a woman to realize who messed up here.
"Dude, I don't know what kind of alternate reality you are coming from" Kenshin sighed, women were scary here. "Just knock him out and let's continue. I still want to mock Yae for a bit more today".
"You shouldn't insult Miko anymore" said Ei with a frown.
"Look at that, my female assistant has balls now, speaking at the Narukami Ogosho himself like that, the Eternal Shogun, His Lightningness himself! And yet I'm not impressed, you are the one who abandoned her for 500 years. But yes, I know you had a reason, a stupid one. Anyway, I came here to have fun, not to argue with a huge siscon" Kenshin replied, leaving behind the enemy soldier with his face inside a tree. A tree infested with termites.
"What is a siscon?" asked Ei curiously.
"Someone that loves her sister" replied casually Kenshin.
And Ei nodded, she loved her sister very much. And Kenshin saw that.
'A spin-off is coming....'
"Halt!" another soldier that appeared said.
"Gorou, my canine friend, it has been a while!" Kenshin shouted, stepping forward.
"K-Kenshin?. Why are you with the General?" asked a confused and betrayed Gorou.
"We came to talk, along with my assistant" Kenshin said, pointing with his thumb at Ei who was behind him.
"Assistant?. She looks dangerous.." muttered Goroun, feeling his tail tremble in fear just by being near her.
It made sense for these people not to know how the previous Shogun looked. Even a lot of people in the city weren't able to see her in their whole lives, not to mention the guys in Watatsumi.
If someone from the Resistance saw her, they were dead.
Kenshin sighed hearing Gorou, and walked back you Ei's position. He pinched her cheeks and drew a 'smile'.
"She is an edge lord, you know, those people who think they are imposing and stronger than everyone else, always looking like a pile of shit is near them".
Gorou nodded. The Resistance was isolated, but they had their ways to get some basic knowledge too.
"I will tell our Strategist about your arrival" Gorou nodded and disappeared. Kenshin had been feeding them for years, if he wanted to hurt them, he could have done it months ago.
But Kenshin wants to hurt them NOW.
He had power, and wanted to use it.
They waited for a minute, and the fish lady herself arrived.
"Kenshin, Gorou told me...that...." and Kenshin knew Sangonomiya Kokomi did, in fact, know who his assistant was.
"Indeed, he told you. We are here to talk" Kenshin replied with a gentle smile.
"Why are you bringing your artillery then?" asked wryly Kokomi.
"Is there another way to talk?" asked a confused Kenshin.
"....."
"Supreme Priestess, I am back" an energetic Gorou arrived, and the first thing he saw was Kokomi's bitter smile. "What's wrong?".
"Nothing, we were about to talk" Kenshin replied with the same smile. Having power felt great. "Ei, even for all your stupidity, I have to admit that I admire you. You had all this power, and you still kept your hands to yourself, just like Yae. I am feeling my hands tremble with excitement and my soul is asking for violence in a fight I'm sure I will win by a landslide".
Kokomi was alarmed hearing that, she still didn't know Kenshin, but his terrific smile was giving her goosebumps.
"What do you want?" she asked bitterly. "Our surrender?"
Gorou tried to speak, but Kokomi stopped him.
"If I wanted your surrender, my assistant would have already vaporized your whole island, pearls included" Kenshin scoffed. "Why you thought it was a good idea to fight the same god that killed yours is mind-boggling".
Had Ei decided that this war was stupid, they would have lost instantly.
"Why did you come here for then?" asked Kokomi, with trepidation in her heart.
"To tell you that we are going to have a party, and you can bring a few people if you want" said Kenshin, surprising even Ei and Sara. "I'm the Shogun now as you have probably deduced and I want my army to disappear, so you need to stop acting like a petulant child and stop annoying us. You are going to lose anyway, so I thought of inviting you to the party we will have. A lot of people will come from the mainland, so maybe you can find some help there, I don't care".
"What are you planning?" asked Kokofish with a frown.
"If I wanted to plan something, you wouldn't be here. Anyway, I told you. Assistant, I'm tired. Carry me to my abode!" Kenshin said extending his arms to Ei, who was looking at him with hatred.
"Do you have no shame as a warrior?"
"If you could sell that useless pride, I would have. Can you eat pride? And remember" Kenshin said with a malicious face. "You lost against a shameless and prideless bastard like me. Your own 'pride' doesn't seem to be so great, don't you think?".
Ei regretted 'inviting' Kenshin to the Plane of Euthymia, she would have killed him instantly in the outside world.
But then her sister wouldn't have been brought back, and that was enough to make all her suffering worth it.
For now at least.
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After arriving at the Tenshukaku, Kenshin decided to write the letters and send them.
He even invited Jean's mother, he needed a new character for his 'Radiant Knight' series and he thought of her mother, who even the serious Jean described as an amazing person.
"Are you not going back?" asked Ei with a displeased look seeing that her workplace wasn't hers anymore.
"What are you talking about?" asked a confused Kenshin. "I'm the Shogun now, this my place. It's you who needs to go back, you are intruding in my home. Shoo, shoo".
"W-where am I going to live then?" asked a shocked Ei. She never thought that she would be in the streets at her age, and even less after her importance in Inazuma.
"I missed the part where that was my problem" replied Kenshin, writing another letter. This one was for the Boss of the Lands. now he could speak to him as an equal, not needing to fear a meteorite. His assistant was strong after all.
"....." Ei had a dark expression, but left for the Shrine.
"Ah, wait!" said Kenshin, remembering something.
Ei turned back still angry, but decided to wait for a bit.
"Deliver these to Ritou. I want them sent tomorrow" Kenshin said giving her the stack of letters and patting her head. "Now get the fuck out of MY house".
Kenshin saw how Ei left the room, sensing her anger.
'Hopefully that makes her leave this place' mused Kenshin looking at the door that closed after Ei left. 'Staying in this place won't help her at all, maybe a change of airs and being near Yae can make her forget at least a little of these 500 years.'
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"Report"
"Yes" a woman with black and white hair nodded. Her red 'X' shaped pupils scanned the room before looking at the man presiding the room, Pierro. "I couldn't find anything about the Gnosis".
"And about the secondary target?" asked Pulcinella in his irritant voice.
"He is wary about us" Arlecchino replied in a calm tone, she didn't lie after all. "Somebody was planning to sell Delusion to get experimental data, and he stopped the plan before we could start selling them".
Everyone knew who was the deranged bastard who did that. There was only one man twisted to such extremes, and he wasn't fazed by the looks he was receiving. He only grew even more curious about this boy.
"And what is your personal relationship with him?" asked Signora with a serious face.
"Neutral" replied Arlecchino. She was the most talented actor this world had ever seen, and she was confident in her poker face.
Pierro took out a letter, one Arlecchino recognized as Kenshin's, but she didn't panic. She didn't only trust Kenshin because of how he was trying to help her, but also for his cunning. No matter how good-intentioned a person was, she didn't need a liability by her side.
"I will read it" said Signora taking the letter. "I knew the boy personally, and I saw his writing".
"He uses a special ink, so maybe you will be able to detect something" Arlecchino blandly said, knowing that Kenshin was not going to let anything escape that he didn't want to.
'My blazing lady, whose soul disperses even the darkest of worries in my heart.
I hope you are the one reading this. If you are not, I wish for the dick of the guy reading this to disappear. If you are a girl, I wish for a dick to appear. Well, maybe that was not the insult I pretended it to be, there are a lot of people with great personalities nowadays'.
Signora felt her face darken reading this, and a few Harbingers laughed lightly. Except for the new Tartaglia, he was openly laughing.
"It's definitely that kid" she muttered.
'I'm now the Shogun. Yes, as you heard it, I beat that obnoxious woman and guess what, she was the one carrying this letter to the harbor we had our last dance in, when a messenger could have done the same, ahahaha, I'm having so much fun now. I have power, in the form of my new assistant and believe me, it's glorious.
I am writing to invite you to a festival we will host in a month, and a lot of people will come.
I know you rats are aiming for Archons, and as Morax and Barbatos will probably come, I thought you could take this chance to visit.
I have missed your bright soul, and a day without you is like a day without a shower, stinky and sticky'
"Your prince sure knows how to make compliments" laughed Tartaglia.
Arlecchino didn't answer, she knew Kenshin was just messing around.
'So yeah, please come. There will be 3 Archons here, so I hope you can come.
Your dance partner.
Kenshin.
Scratch that.
The Shogun, the Eternal Shogun, Narukami Ogosho, Kenshin.'
"Neutral" said Pierro, repeating the word Arlecchino used to describe their relationship.
"Neutral" Arlecchino repeated without a single muscle in her face twitching.
"He is telling you where our targets are, knowing what we are aiming for, even after grouping them for us, and you say neutral?" asked Tartaglia in a disbelieving tone.
"Neutral" repeated Arlecchino in the same voice.
'PS; I know you loved our last dance, I could see your soul so you can't deny it. And even that weird atmosphere at the end was a bit peculiar, but I didn't dislike it.'
Signora read the rest.
"Neutral" repeated Arlecchino, but she wasn't fooling anyone.
"Well, you fucked up" said an amused Tartaglia.
"If they fucked and this girl is still saying 'neutral', I fear for her integrity" added Dottore in her sticky voice.
"We didn't 'fuck', as you are so grossly saying" refuted Arlecchino, her facade not showing any cracks.
"Maybe you should have" muttered Pantalone with a pondering look. "It's the optimal way to get what we want, and with no risks. You may even get him to come to Snezhnaya, or at least make him reveal something we can use".
"You can't be serious" said Arecchino, her facade slightly breaking when her anger reached the limit.
"You will be what is required of you to be" said Dottore in a disinterested voice. "But I don't know if your boyish appearance will be enough".
"And here I thought the only thing you associated with the word 'fuck' was your little experiments" Arlecchino commented with a glance. "I saw one escaping last month, wasn't that to your taste? I thought to preferred cats to dogs".
"Enough" the frigid voice of the Tsaritsa sounded in the room, silencing everyone. "We need that boy to come here. I don't care what you need to do, if he is here I won't complain about your methods. You can drug him, kidnap him, seduce him or convince him. But I need him here".
Alrecchino's facade didn't break, but she clenched her fists, knowing that these words meant that she was required to do everything that needed to be done, everything to make Kenshin come here.
"I don't think that is going to work" interrupted Signora, making Arlecchino look at her. Signora was the person who knew Kenshin the most after her. "He can see souls, there is no way he is not going to realize something".
"Still, if there is a chance, she should take it" Dottore spoke again. "He must be a few years younger than age, and kids at that age think more with their bodies than with their heads".
"I will do what I need to do" said Arlecchino, leaving the room after that.
She knew how powerful Kenshin's ability was, just like she knew his nature. He was not going to fall for any honey trap, no matter how attractive the bait was. Not even her, with her 'delicious' soul, would be enough.
She now needed to make him come to Snezhnaya to accomplish her mission.
She knew Kenshin was not going to leave Inazuma, at least for now, so she wouldn't be able to accomplish her goal no matter what.
And yet, if she came back without doing everything she could she would be under scrutiny, and that was something she couldn't afford.
But she wasn't worried about this.
Kenshin was her partner after all.
REFLEXIONES DE LOS CREADORES 
ARandomMob
ARandomMob Elden Ring's DLC story trailer came out today.
It was glorious
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