Capítulo 8: 'What the fudge?'
With his son bribed Qie Ranzhe was fully satiated. In fact, he was so satiated that Qie Xieling was the one that suffered the most the very next day.
When you have two parents active in your life one is the voice of reason when the other is being very unreasonable. But when his dad was being unreasonable today his father instead of backing him up was saying stuff like, "Lin Lin, listen to your dad."
Lin Lin, 'What the fudge?'
As expected, when his father was in a very very good mood he got to pay the price. Like for example, today he was just minding his own business playing with the sea shells he gathered together with his parents when suddenly his dad said,
"Lin Lin, you need to write a card to apologise to Luo Muchen. You should write a heartfelt message."
Qie Xieling, "..."
He honestly thought that after getting yelled at, getting time out and his gaming pod being confiscated the matter was over. Now he was being asked to write an apology card or rather draw an apology card to Luo Muchen... seriously?
"Can't I just walk over to him and say I am sorry?" he asked seeming like he was about to break down in tears.
"No, that's not sincere enough," replied Wen Qinxi and Qie Xieling looked at his father for help.
His father was busy cutting kiwi slices and feeding them to his dad. With tender affection in his eyes as he gazed upon his husband he said, "Lin Lin listen to your dad."
Qie Xieling, "..."
"It should be a handmade card with a sincere and heartfelt apology. Go get your backpack and start drawing," said Wen Qinxi and Qie Xieling had no choice.
With his lips pouted he got down from the chair. In slow strides and a lowered head like he was ashamed he walked up the stairs hoping that his dad would change his mind but who was he kidding?
His dad was the rule of the law in this family. "For every second that you aren't back with your backpack I will add a day of not getting your gaming pod back," said Wen Qinxi the threat in his voice obvious.
After hearing that Qie Xieling ran up the stairs like he had oil on his feet. He came back down gasping for air like he had just run a marathon.
"You should make me a handmade card too so you can express your feelings for me," said Wen Qinxi and Qie Ranzhe couldn't agree more.
Qie Xieling almost rolled his eyes seeing this. His parents were a special kind of breed. Honestly, he swore that if he ever falls in love and that was a big if, he would make sure not to abuse others like these two.
While they were distracted he pulled out his pencil colours and began drawing with his tongue sticking out like a proper artist. He was so focused that he didn't notice his father was now sitting next to him drawing as well.
He only noticed when he found that the brown colour pencil was missing. He turned to look at him and even waited but his father was really hogging the brown pencil colour.
"Pa," he said and Qie Ranzhe hummed in response but he didn't stop using it.
"Brown one. Can I have it?" he said and Qie Ranzhe replied without even looking at him,
"Use another one. There is another brown one over there."
"That one is dark brown. I want light brown. The dark brown won't work well with the other colours... Pa," said Qie Xieling but his stubborn father wouldn't let him have it.
"My card is more important than yours so wait," said Qie Ranzhe and Wen Qinxi couldn't help but chuckle lightly watching these two fighting over a pencil colour. He didn't even bother to intervene and as expected it escalated.
They started making fun of each other's drawings and Qie Xieling was especially brutal. You would think him being a kid would mean his vocabulary was shallow but nope. He mocked the heart drawn by his father using words like poignant.
"What the heck does that mean?" asked Qie Ranzhe and Qie Xieling chuckled with his head lowered.
Qie Ranzhe looked at his husband and Wen Qinxi shrugged his shoulders. He was a genius in programming but not vocabulary. It just wasn't his thing.
"Lenex, what is the meaning of the word poignant?" he asked and the voice assistant device lit up before giving a detailed definition.
Qie Ranzhe's face grew dark as he faced this brat he intentionally gave birth to.
"My drawing is keenly distressing to your mind? Really?" he said and Qie Xieling being Qie Xieling nodded his head with a toothy smile.
"You want keenly distressed? Let me show you keenly distressed," he said and the sound of a chair scratching the ground and loud giggles ensued.
"Pa, I am going to pee hahahahaha I am going to pee myself," screamed Qie Xieling in between laughs because his father who had caught him was tickling him. After messing around for a while Qie Xieling continued with his card.
After working so hard for hours he finally presented it to his father. Wen Qinxi didn't expect it to be the best-looking card. He just wanted his son to be sincere and for his apology to come from his heart.
Looking at the bunny in front of the card dressed in a polka dot onesie with a sad expression Wen Qinxi was quite impressed. It seemed his son really put in real effort. It even had the words I am sorry in a chat bubble hovering above the bunny.
"Cute bunny," he said and Qie Xieling who was moving side to side enjoying the bite of the piece of fudge his father had given to him swallowed before saying,
"No no, it's a cat. See there are whiskers."
Wen Qinxi, "..."
What cat had ears that big? He could only continue praising this little artist but it seemed Qie Ranzhe was not on the same page as him. The man directly pointed out the ear issue.
"Those ears are too big to be a cat's," he said and Wen Qinxi's eyes widened. His expression was clearly reprimanding him but Qie Ranzhe didn't feel bad at all.
He sat beside them while taking the card away. He opened it and almost choked on the piece of fudge he was chewing.
Wen Qinxi, "..."
Capítulo 9: I am sorry I whooped your a**
Qie Ranzhe had never laughed so hard in his life. He was laughing so much that the veins on his temples were throbbing, his face red as he curled on the couch holding his stomach.
Whenever he looked at his son his laughter would grow louder. He knew the little rascal was funny but he didn't think the kid would be this comic.
Wen Qinxi was a little suspicious so he grabbed the card from Qie Ranzhe and unlike his husband, he didn't laugh. Instead, he glared at the culprit who had on an innocent face like he didn't understand what was going on.
Wen Qinxi pressed the tip of his tongue on his cheek before asking, "Read it."
Qie Xieling suddenly felt ashamed. He took the card with his lips pursed together. He suddenly saw what a stupid idea it was to write that message inside. When it was in his mind it sounded okay but now that he had read it he now knew the error of his ways.
"Dad," he murmured but Wen Qinxi wasn't messing around. He just gave him that stare that nana Wen always had on when she was reaching for her slipper.
He opened his lips in a haste and read it loud and clear. "I am sorry I whooped your ass. It won't happen again," he read his eyes watery like he was about to cry. Damn, when he sees that brat Luo Muchen he wouldn't let him go. It seemed the lesson his dad was trying to teach him hadn't gotten in his head yet.
"Who taught you that word?" asked Wen Qinxi his voice drowned by his husband's laughter.
Qie Ranzhe might have been laughing hard but he heard Wen Qinxi's question fully well, and his boisterous laughter died down. He wanted to see how this would play out knowing fully well where Lin Lin learnt that word.
Qie Xieling should have known it was a trap from the start but his sense of danger wasn't that high yet. He raised his finger and pointed at his dad with no hesitation before saying, "You, dad."
Wen Qinxi, "..."
Qie Ranzhe, "!!!"
He tried. He really tried his best to stifle his laughter but he failed miserably. Not wanting to anger Wen Qinxi he stood up calmly, opened the sliding door and closed it before letting it all out.
He was outside laughing but Wen Qinxi could hear it all. Who would have thought his kid would copy him? When Qie Xieling came home he tried to limit the profanities coming out of his mouth and they even had a swear jar.
If he swore Qie Ranzhe could pick anything he wanted him to do in the bedroom. It was especially difficult the first few days and this man had worn a slutty nurse costume, a sexy kawaii cow girl outfit and was handcuffed to the bed all in one week.
Because Qie Ranzhe had better self-control when it came to the forbidden words it meant Wen Qinxi couldn't get back at him.
After suffering such a loss Wen Qinxi gained some self-control but just like the saying the walls have ears this brat overheard his conversations on the phone or when he was having a private talk with Qie Ranzhe.
Wen Qinxi rubbed his temple while saying, "Like I said before you shouldn't say those words that includes and are not limited to the S word, F word, A word and P word."
Qie Xieling looked very confused as he asked, "Yes but dad I wrote it. I didn't say it."
Wen Qinxi, "..."
Could he return this child where he came from without a receipt? He could tell that Qie Xieling wasn't being a smart ass either. The kid genuinely thought it was okay to write it.
"No Qie Xieling, you can't write it either. Now you have no choice but to redo it and you are going to have to bake fudge with me to give to Luo Muchen," said Wen Qinxi adding on to the punishment.
Qie Xieling, "..."
An apology card and fudge too? Qie Xieling learnt today that crime doesn't pay. It was the victim reaping all the benefits and rightfully so.
The soft whoosh sound of the sliding door drew their attention and Qie Ranzhe who seemed to have regained his composure stood there.
He was about to calmly walk over but when his gaze fell on that card again he really couldn't help himself. With a bang a couch cushion was thrown in his direction but he dodged it as he slipped back outside.
***
Qie Xieling held the box in his hand with slight resentment in his eyes. Why? It was because his dad had made his favourite cookie monster fudge to give to Luo Muchen and he wasn't allowed to eat a single one.
His dad really wanted to make sure the punishment sank in and it did, well, sort of.
"Lin Lin, uncle Dan will come and pick you up after school. Don't run around," said Wen Qinxi as Qie Ranzhe got out to open the door for the little man.
Qie Xieling smiled happily hearing this. Who else in this family was the biggest push over other than uncle Dan? He couldn't wait for an afternoon of mischief.
Qie Ranzhe unbuckled the seat belt and picked him up from the booster seat. As soon as his feet sat on the ground he waved goodbye and disappeared into the crowd of little kids coming into school.
Wen Qinxi, "..."
"That brat. Not even a kiss goodbye," he mumbled as the door shut. Before he knew it he was being kissed on the cheek repeatedly.
"Uh Ran-ge, what are you doing?" he said but the smile on his face was saying please don't stop.
"I am giving you kisses in place of that brat," said Qie Ranzhe leaning in even closer. Well, that is until the elderly female teacher cleared her throat loudly with an expression like that of a mean old lady.
Wen Qinxi pushed his husband away and looked at the open driver's window. With a nervous smile, he said, " Sorry Ms Kwong."
The old woman humphed as Qie Ranzhe started the engine of the car. "She is terrifying," said Wen Qinxi as they drove off but Qie Ranzhe didn't respond. Thinking something was wrong, Wen Qinxi turned to look at him with a puzzled expression but the look in Qie Ranzhe's eyes said everything.
Wen Qinxi, "What the fuck."
Before he knew it they were turning into the company's underground parking and parked in a secluded corner.
"Uh Ran Ran, let's be reasonable," said Wen Qinxi while Qie Ranzhe unclicked the buckle of the seatbelt.
Qie Ranzhe pressed the button to recline Wen Qinxi's seat while whispering into his ear, "But baby, I am hard."
Wen Qinxi who was so stimulated as well, "Shit. You better make it a quickie."
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