RWBY: Oscar the gamer

LV 3

angel_2771

Hello, I read the story and I must say it's good, but there are some things I don't like.An example would be writing,Sometimes it is difficult to read, for example, the third person, sometimes during the narration Oscar suddenly says something in the middle of the narration, and that is a bit confusing,What I want to suggest is at least if you want the character to speak with his name and then a colon so as not to confuse , example: Oscar: oh no, Beacon is going to fall, I have to avoid it. It is also better that you end the narration so that the character can speak, not that in the middle of the narration the character says something and continues the narration as if no one had spoken. Well, this is all the problem I had. Thank you for reading. I'm sorry if my English is bad.

LV 1

Daoist369280

One question, if this is a rewrite of the previous version, does it mean that you will make several changes to it because if so, I'm looking forward to it in another note since you made a story giving Oscar the lead role instead of the usual thing, which would be to use Jaune or ruby otaught that in the future you could do a husttia using whitley to see how you get on developing the skills of the youngest of the schnne otthought you could make it more strategic or combine the glyphs with a fighting style that allows him to use a gun and sword like Nero from DMC(Devil May Cry) What do you think of the idea?

LV 12

VictorElderblood

it's looking good so far so keep up the amazing work

This is a fun read and a fun story, so far i have enjoyed it very much, would have been 5 star if not for the First 4 Ch, Other wishes this is a good and enjoyable story, So people don't Judge it by the first 4 Ch

LV 4

mc_broz

So what do I think of the story? it not bad but it dose need work. The story in it self is good, good pacing maybe a bit slow but that’s not a bad thing. Over all it is a good read