Capítulo 317: Concluding the Young Master’s Past
Zixu had to see his mother.
For five years, since he was seven, he had lived in her world, believing her every word. Now, after arriving at the truth, he still had to see her. He still wanted to know.
The day began like every other day. The two of them sat at the table, reading the books she always looked through.
Zixu stared at the scrawled notes of his mother. What seemed like unexplained, illogical desperation back then now all made sense, if he accepted that she was insane. Except, he just couldn't. A part of him still wanted to believe her, despite every other fact pointing him towards the truth.
She had been living in her own world of lies, and at some point, he had become just as delusional. She was afraid of the others who always sought after taking her life. He was afraid of losing the possibility of every faded memory of the mother he knew.
"Mother," he started, his voice barely a whisper, "I visited Father's courtyard yesterday."
REFLEXIONES DE LOS CREADORES 
yaoyueyi
yaoyueyi *deep breath*
i think... if i had to compare this with what I wrote for wei yunjing & yue ze (master)'s backstory, this one is the sadder one for me. even though it's shorter, i think it's sadder for me because of just the trauma zixu had to experience throughout his entire childhood. his mother's mental illness (she was schizophrenic, in case the symptoms were not clear enough) was something that he had to deal with for five years of his life, but in reality, the trauma that it left went much further past those five years.
schizophrenia is a mental disorder "that affects a person's ability to think, feel, and behave clearly". it often causes delusions, paranoia, hallucinations, isolation, agitation, compulsive behavior, psychosis, and a lot more. i did a lot of research prior & while writing, so hopefully I did capture it well, but if there are any parts where I should change to give a more accurate portrayal, please do tell me in the comments and i will try my best to fix!
lastly, i am incredibly sorry if this chapter brought on any mental distress. please know that there is someone always out you if you are feeling distress. help is available. if you need emotional support, please do reach out to a professional or a hotline/lifeline!
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