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NEW START IN NEW LIFE
3.84 (32 valoraciones)
Resumen
Good news, I finally finish my collage and now I'm finally a Bachelor of Economic (Sarjana Ekonomi). It's really a long journey for me... 6 years... and now I can do anything I want. I want to correct this trash I made in an attempt to learn English. So, I guess I should start with correcting on my many mistakes on grammar and stories... Thanks
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It's a Story about a man who died saving someone and given a second chance at a new life in The World God Only Knows world and there are also many characters from other anime. That sum this story.
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This is my first English story please understand the grammar isn't good enough. I did use Grammarly the free version though so I hope it can make my story more readable.
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Also please give me support with coffee here ko-fi.com/boy72 as I really need money soon to pay for my college. If you guys help me pay it I will be really grateful and post 5 chapters/day for 1 month.
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Rank 1-50 : 1000 Word/Chapter
Rank 51-100 : 900 Word/Chapter
Rank 101-150 : 800 Word/Chapter
Rank 151-199 : 700 Word/Chapter
Rank 200 : 600 Word/Chapter
Rank 200+ : Up to me.
It means it can be more or less as I like.
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The Update is always 2 chapters/day. And starting today the update will be at night time. At least in my place, it will be night. Don't really know about the other place's time. I finally have a new laptop that I manage to buy using my wage. So I guess you can expect my story on your library again.
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no, I can't read it. The author added different animes to this fanfic, but completely ignores them and focuses on dxd (very fucking interesting) and this poor writing style (-make this girl love you-done) the author just skips everything, starting with the lives of the characters, the relationship between them, how he gets these powers. So if you came here for crossovers, then don't read this dxd fanfic.
Revelar spoiler
I only have an IQ of 3, reduced to one by this ff. [img=recommend][img=recommend][img=recommend][img=recommend][img=recommend][img=recommend][img=recommend][img=recommend][img=recommend][img=recommend][img=recommend]
I didn’t read the story because reviews basically says even though MC is OP he basically act like a slave to his harem’s desire probably at some point if harem want to try something like ntr play by making MC watch it or something MC would agree without wanting it, my advice is make it so his harem start to get overbearing and unreasonable with their request and start to think it’s normal for MC to do what they want then make it so MC starts to get angry and snaps and leaves them for a while and at that time make it so harem start to regret it and meanwhile MC finds a few reasonable woman and then these new womans notice MC still loves his old harem but because he can’t bear to be a slave anymore he doesn’t want to go back and then these womans tells him he should give them one more chance because if they waste that chance too probably his love would start to vanish and if they don’t waste it and regret it and stop being unreasonable they would start a better and more reasonable relationship, and my advice at this point is make it so if there is some woman with trash personality at harem that you can’t bear to write anymore then make them not regret it and and MC leaves them completely and no longer loves them and make it so other womans regret it and won’t be unreasonable anymore and MC slowly accepts them again and from this point MC is no longer a beta MC but an alpha MC with new womans becoming equal with MC in their relationship but part of old harem that regrets it becomes like concubines at first and later equal too like new ones and if they start to act out of line and unreasonable again make it so new ones remind them what happened before and they remember and say sorry it’s a bit like a twist of sort but this way you can make it so MC is no longer a beta MC
Overall if someone ask me to review my own story is. It's not good enough. It's actually quite bad. Trash. I'm expected to be harsher on my own after all.
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Ok reviewed as of ch. 67 The story is relatively Good. The Autor is not a native English speaker so there are a bunch of typos and sintax errors, it makes the story harder to read but it's not to a level where it's impossible or you can't follow the plot at all. Updates are fast and the story is relatively fast moving so no overly long drag. My biggest problems with the story come from the MC himself, but it seams the Autor knows that and the last 2 ch. show a bit of a shift in the Character of the MC. I know that the MC is a nice guy and all that but he is to forgiving, the last 2 ch. show what the MC thinks to better get the point across and shift the Character a bit, but it's still a long way from Good. First his Harem /relationships, he should never let himself he pressured to take a woman because others want to or his first Girl thinks it a good idea, the power dynamic in the relationship shifted from him caring about her , to her telling him to do this or that and telling him to get a Harem.... this could have been better done, like this it makes it look like he does not want it. His powerlevel is not clear, is he so weak that all the fraction leaders can walk all over him? is he powerfull but wants bro keep a low profile? I get that he does not want more enemy's than he needs but come on, they talk down to him and in the end it makes him more of a target than makes sense. The System is underused in the story most of all the Shop, it has a Shop right? can't rember because I haven't seen much of the system. It was his wish to have it way not make a bit more use of it. No I don't want slave quests like in all the other story's but even status is so underused that I have no idea how strong he is, at least use it for that from time to time. But yeah the story is still Good and the last 2 ch. give me hope that it gets even better keep going
Revelar spoiler
I'll give it an all star rating but is it R-18??????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????
Just sad. Just sad. just sad. Just sad. Just sad. just sad. Just sad. Just sad. just sad. Just sad. Just sad. just sad. Just sad. Just sad. just sad. Just sad. Just sad. just sad. Just sad. Just sad. just sad. Just sad. Just sad. just sad.
The grammar is not that great however atleast the author do chapter everyday and I also see some little development to the grammar and writing
Is this a huge harem? Is this a huge harem? Is this a huge harem? Is this a huge harem? Is this a huge harem? Is this a huge harem? Is this a huge harem? Is this a huge harem? Is this a huge harem?
Of the new work that I have seen, this is one of the best, it is a bit accepted but well, it does not have many errors and gaps in the plot, I just hope the story does not fall sincerely I love
Fast paced ruined the drama atmosphere... And not only that the characters became lacked at expressing their emotions because of the fast paced..(though I have other things that I need to pointed out.. those are the most things that I thinks is important) it's not too bad anyway...
the Author add in information so much in each chapter that I can't call it info-dump anymore and with so many characters each from different manga and novel that I can't tell who is who without copy name to google it to know who is who and the most important thing is I don't know this novel genre is Action ?... it bed at it Slice of life?... it going too fast Harem?MC is no good at too simply doesn't have anything interesting at all for me
drop dulu di ch 50 gw suka ide ceritanya tapi mc nya simp, mau aja diperlakuin kek babu... hadeh... 🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃
Omoshiroi... I just have read 30 chaps, the premises is good, but each chaps is too short to enjoy. - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
.x.x.x.x.xx..x.x.x.xx..xx.x..x.x.c.c.c.x.x.x.x.x.xx..x.xx.x.x.x.x.x.x.x..x.x.x.x..x.x.x.cc.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x..xx..x.x.xx.x.x.x..x.x.xx.x.x..x.xs
CAN U ADD FOOD WARS I MEAN ADD ERINA,RINDOU, ALICE AND HER MOTHER OPPS SRY WRONG WORDS I MEAN TWO GRANDDAUGHTER OF OLD MAN💯🙏🙏🙏💯💯🙏🙏💯💯🙏🎉🎉💯🙏
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