Capítulo 3: Chapter-3
After deciding to make the deal with Mirk, Dilara had to share some of her problems and situations with him in order for him to help her out more efficiently. She didn't know if it was the right thing to tell him as she couldn't trust the man just yet but she felt like somehow it was okay to let down about some inches of her guard in front of the man.
She laid back on the couch and spoke not looking up at the person in front of her.
" I was not always like this, you know, this reserved about my privacy or guarded which I am sure you've already guessed. That's one thing you might need to know and well the main reason why everyone is worried about me and well the problem with my condition is, to sum it all up in a sentence, I have a fear of falling in love, I have philophobia, that's what they seem to call it."
Mirk saw that she was not really comfortable telling him or speaking about her problems out to anyone.
She expected an immediate reaction or comment but she got none of them she took a glance of him to see if he had any expression but his normal expression had remained unchanged, with his gaze still on her.
Seeing his neutral face made her even more flustered, she had been one who never showed even if she was unwell or feeling down even from a young age unless it became unbearable. And the first time she talked about her condition to others, she didn't get a positive reaction from people.
For her who normally had a hard time sharing her problems with others, it was extremely difficult to bring it up and besides she never had much people beside her to share her problems with. She was a single child of a young couple who got married on impulse and later on after their married life never get along much. When she was a kid she really didn't understand much of their relationship but later on when she grew old enough to understand and compare her family with other's she found out that her's was not a happy one.
Her father who was a science professor at a famous university lived away from home in another city and rarely went home. Her mother was a strong willed women because without relying solely on her husbands support she worked hard to give Dilara the best life she could. Dilara felt down sometimes when she witnessed them fighting but she was never depressed for long because of it.
She thought that even if they fought they were still family and that won't change, until the year before she was about to enter high school, her mother's sudden suicide broke them apart completely. Dilara was left in shock and alone, the people around them constantly gossip about how she had killed herself out of depression because she wanted her husband's love and didn't get any of it.
Dilara who didn't understand any of those feelings at the time took their words and believed that her mother died because her father didn't love them and her father didn't really help in making her think otherwise as after his wife's death he went home even less. He would send Dilara a large eum of money every month and supported her.
After high school she left home and worked some part time jobs to support herself even though her father still send her money. She felt like a bother to him, simply sucking his money away and she never got the feeling of a father figure from him so after completing graduation she blocked her bank account, opened a new one and lived by herself.
Neither she nor her tried to contact each other in any means possible and they simply drift apart more and more.
She didn't had that friendly of a relationship with her father to share it with him but even though
She didn't want to let anyone worry about her and so she never shared her problems with anyone. Over time she just accept it and let her feelings get used to being alone.
Leal, her childhood friend from kindergarten whom she eventually couldn't hide anything from, took her fears more seriously and consulted with her about trying to visit some consultants and solving the matter. She refused at first but because the other wasn't giving up nagging her about it she actually visited about 2 or 3 counselors in the past but none of them proved useful for her condition so she went back to her state and Leal also stopped forcing her about it understanding that there would be no progress if the person herself was not interested in it.
Back to ther situation from his lack of reaction she believed that he was the same as the others, thinking of her situation as nothing much, she muttered out.
" As I've said before, I know my condition and what I need, I just preferred to leave things the way they are now. And it would be useless even if you say anything so good luck trying to persuade me. "
Quickly realising he was being rude, he quickly recovers and noticed that she was trying to avoid the topic.
" Sorry Miss Vespine, I didn't mean to ignore your words after you took the courage to share it with me. I just didn't expect it from you because you appeared quite... different. How should I say.. "
She turned her face, finally facing him directly and slightly surprised hearing how she doesn't appear like someone who would have those problems. In the past, they almost always directly assumed her as some weak mental patient and treated her as some fragile minded person which she hated.
But here, the man was telling it right to her face on his thoughts instead of treating her like a mental patient.
" Stronger? " She chuckled.
Mirk: " Yes, I am sorry I don't mean that you are weak because of your condition. I just assumed."
Dilara laughed lightly and talked more casually with him rather than in a guarded tone.
" It's fine, it's fine. Is it because you're a famous professional psychiatrist that you seem to be different? Or were the one's I met before just frauds? "
Mirk: " I am sorry I don't quite seem to understand what you're trying to say. "
Dilara: " Oh don't mind me, I was just babbling to myself. Anyway Mr. Psychiatrist what do you have to say about my situation? Any confidence that you can help me start falling in love and actually form a relationship with someone? "
Mirk: " I can't say for certain as of yet and I don't want to give you empty promises so for now I'll just say that I'll try my best to help you since you are helping me as well. "
He took some files out of his case and handed it to her.
" Please fill these forms, I'll need these profile and also please answer the questions without leaving them. I would also like to ask you to come meet me at City heart hospital, when will be a good time for you? "
Dilara took the files off his hands and looked over them especially the questions and smirked.
" After all those talks about pretending to help me for your own gain, you really are acting like a proper psychiatrist now. "
Mirk: " Well of course, since I already took the job and you agreed to it, I have to do my part well and try not to disappoint you too much. So can you please tell me when you can meet and talk with me again. I hope you won't refuse. "
Dilara looked at the paper and after some time looked back up at him.
" You haven't really left me with any other choice, I'll call you about the date later. I hope I can call you with this number given in the paper? "
Mirk: " Yes, you can. Please contact me when you make up your mind. I'll take my leave now. "
He stood up and Dilara folding her arms looked at him and his reactions with a straight face.
" I won't be seeing you off then, hope you won't mind. Take care Mr. Arcane. "
Mirk: " That's perfectly fine, I trust to see you soon Miss Vespine. Well then. "
He took his case, put on his shoes and exit the door without even once turning back.
Dilara: " Bastard, he really kept a neutral face until the moment he left. "
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