Capítulo 9: The misery of my life begins

With his straight and soft hair and his cool look, this is Jimmy 's style that makes many students chase him, including myself and Ayuna.

I'm not hypocritical through my smile and my eyes that never get tired of staring at him.

I'm happy to be with him at every opportunity.

I really admit that if I'm very crazy about him, I took my breath, then I asked in my heart ...

"God ... did he really dream of me?"

Now shame and disappointment are present in this heart because I am very afraid that what I imagined is not the same as what was in Jimmy's mind. I don't know what would happen if Jimmy knew what I was feeling right now.

"Why are you asking this to me Jim?"

I tried to stay calm and relaxed in front of Jimmy, I tried to go back to asking Jimmy, even though my curiosity was getting more and more so, I wanted Jimmy to come clean and tell me the truth about the girl in his dream.

"Because there are only you my closest friend !!" While staring at the lake in front of him Jimmy answered my question quickly. I saw that the lake was very calm, completely calm as Jimmy replied flatly to me.

" Only friend... !!" Jimmy said to me, that between myself and him only a friend ?! But.... what kind of friend ... ?? Does Jimmy think of myself as a close friend? or best friends, or just ordinary friends ...?! the more questions in my heart I can ask Jimmy. now there is a feeling of disappointment in my heart, hearing Jimmy answer like that to me.

My hand immediately gripped the last pebble that I will throw into this lake. I don't know what happened in my heart. after I heard what Jimmy said.

"Jim .. it's getting late in the afternoon, I'm going to go home first, I'm afraid Ayuna will tell Daddy about myself, if I come home late from school hours."

I immediately asked Jimmy to take me home, because my heart was starting to mess up and I didn't want Jimmy to find out.

It turns out that all this is not what I imagined and I wanted. All of this is not a sweet dream of Jimmy but all this is my nightmare. What I feel is probably a one-sided feeling.

until now I just remain the me who is always waiting and waiting.

I am not Ayuna who can loudly say love to a man and I am not Ayuna who can dare to seduce a man so that he can fall and submit in front of him, I still have self-respect even though I know that this self really means nothing at all , let it be .... let time tell Jimmy, that this love is very big for Jimmy and this hope is also eager to be with Jimmy.

"Ayuni ... why ?! You are angry with me." asked Jimmy to me.

Maybe Jimmy already knows what the reason I asked him to hurry up and take me home, I still try to keep acting in front of him and try not to let out these tears in front of him because I don't want my feelings to be known by Jimmy and I don't want Jimmy to lower myself or be sorry for me.

"Why should I be angry with Jim?! I told you the reason earlier that I was afraid that Ayuna would complain to Papa if I came home late today."

I answered and I hope that my reason can be accepted by Jimmy and Jimmy can immediately take me home because in fact these eyes can no longer be held back there is water that wants to come out of the corner of my eye which makes my vision a little myopic and full of pain that can't I reveal.

******

This morning I feel that my body cannot be compromised anymore, my head feels very heavy and I also feel sleepy that I can't stand it anymore, Maybe this is because right now I'm sharing a room with Ayuna so it makes myself unable to calm down at all feeling worried It continues to haunt me until my resting time becomes disturbed, my mind is now divided into, not about lessons but now what is in my mind right now is my fear which is greater than the reality that I have to face, all of this is really I almost can't control it anymore, because Ayuna is like a mortal enemy that I can't get rid of as long as I live in this world.

I don't understand why all this has to happen to me, even though Ayuna is my twin but she is always meaner than the most cruel devil in this world, she can do everything in various ways to get what she wants! no matter what the obstacles were to get her way or what her plans were. Ayuna never felt the slightest fear of getting all her wishes.

"Hiii my dear ... good morning .... oops! Why does your face look so ugly?! Ha ha ha ha ha ..... lacking in vitamins yaa ... or because you are breaking up in love ... ha ha ha ha ha ha ... what a pity this my little sister is ... ha ha ha ha ha ha ...! "

While laughing out loud and satisfied, Ayuna began to say mockingly and humiliated me, she looked at me with a very cynical gaze and she was always dissatisfied if she saw myself not shedding tears in front of her. Ayuna has very sexy lips but those lips are her weapons to injure myself every day.

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