The two men left the house at about eleven at night. Kyle drove them through the quiet streets, and the two listened to country music as the rural roads started to give way to the concrete ones leading to the small urban area a little out of town.
Kyle took notice when Chaska started looking out of the window.
"We're almost there," the man said, smiling a bit. It was one of those smiles that touched his eyes. Kyle felt he had to be excited. They'd been planning to do this for over two months now.
"Here," Chaska said, turning to tap Kyle's thigh to alert him of the little bar tucked between two office complexes. The blond man nodded, trying his best to spot an empty space in the dark parking lot across the bar. When he parked, he and Chaska got down.
Unlike the bar, Chaska was quick to walk over to him and held his hand. The younger man grinned at him, pulling him out of the dark parking lot, and into the streets lit with night lights and neon store signs.
The smell of flavored vapor was in the air—a contrast to the cigarette smoke from the bar back in town. Chaska pulled Kyle through the little crowd that was by the door. For the most part, he kept his eyes forward, but he couldn't stop himself from catching the gazes of a few of the men and drag queens at the door.
Kyle had seen drag queens before, but unlike the ones in the city, it was obvious these queens were making do with cheap materials, wigs, and makeup. They almost looked like dressed mannequins in a clothing retail store.
Chaska seemed to recognize some faces because he was stopped a few times and spoken to in a fast pattern filled with slang words Kyle didn't understand.
"Is this your new man?" one of the many men that called out to Chaska ask. The young man didn't say anything, he just tightened his grip on Kyle's shoulder as he continued to lead him to a section of the bar that was less rowdy.
When they had taken seats, Kyle took his time to look around. The place was colorful, and the decor was shiny and loud. It imitated an opulence that Kyle wasn't used to.
"You should try the tequila," Chaska hummed when the man that had come to take their order left. "They also have decent food here," he drawled, blinking a bit before looking over his shoulder to the stage at the center of the bar. It seemed the performer for the night was running a bit late.
"You'll love the show, the queens here are hilarious," Chaska said. His clear tone stood out in the sea of chatting and laughter. Kyle smiles a bit, watching as the man gazed at the stage. There was something childish about Chaska's expression when he was excited. It seemed like the static brooding mask he wore every day was taken off in those moments.
"Honestly, I'm not sure I'll get any of the comedy," Kyle said, making Chaska turn to look at him.
"Oh well, we'll just have to wait and see," the younger man said, grinning before reaching out to hold Kyle's hand. "How are you so far, uncomfortable?" Chaska asked, still having the feeling that Kyle might have a threshold for what he would tolerate. Men dressed in exaggerated expressions of femininity might be that threshold for him.
"I told you I've seen drag queens before," Kyle said, rolling his eyes. He knew Chaska couldn't help it, but he wished the man would stop trying to test him with small things. "I'm excited about the show," Kyle added, giving Chaska a smile.
The younger man let out a snort. "Your eyes wrinkle up when you smile," Chaska said, reaching out to touch the edge of one of Kyle's eyes. "I love that."
Kyle felt his chest tighten up. He opened his mouth, wanting to say something, but nothing came out.
"Are you calling me old?" Kyle asked in a teasing tone instead as he looked away from Chaska.
"Would that be a bad thing? You are," the younger man said with a chuckle, taking his hand away from Kyle's face. "But it's okay. I like older men."
Kyle rose his head at that, parting his lips a bit as his brows cocked in question.
"What?" Chaska asked, laughing.
The waiter came up to the table and dropped off their drinks and food before Kyle could make a retort.
"If you keep telling me I'm old I'm going to have a midlife crisis," Kyle said as Chaska laughed against the forkful of poutine he was about to eat.
"I'm serious," Kyle muttered, unable to hold himself from smiling. "I feel like I want to rush into things with you because I don't feel like I have any time left to be indecisive."
His tone grew serious, and it makes Chaska's smile fall a bit.
"I want to move in with you. I want to spend Christmas with you and Otis. I want a lot of things that I think will scare you if I keep bringing them up—"
"They're not scary," Chaska muttered looking away from Kyle. "I'm used to men using me and making empty promises, so it's very heartwarming when you make promises because you seem so sincere..."
Chaska's voice trailed off when he felt Kyle's hand on his. "I am sincere." The two locked eyes and they stared at each other until a round of applause and whistling stole both their attentions.
The drag queen had finally arrived. She walked onto the stage with padded hips and a large pink wig complimenting a blue glitter dress.
"Aren't we all looking wonderful today!" The exaggerated pitch of her voice mixed with applause from the crowd made Kyle look over at Chaska. He wondered if he was doing okay. He couldn't hear too well, but he was laid sensitive to high pitch noises.
"I'm okay," Chaska muttered, noticing the concern of Kyle's face. Kyle gave him a small smile, nodding his head before turning his attention back to the stage.
As Chaska had said, the drag queen was hilarious. She kept the crowd engaged with jokes throughout her routine, and when she was done the center of the bar was cleared for dancing. At first, Kyle and Chaska just watched men move to the middle to dance to the house music. Bopping their heads and moving from side to side. The lights shifted from the orange glow to a spotty red, blue and purple.
"Do you want to dance?"
The question caught Kyle off guard. He turned to look at Chaska, whose face was illuminated by the lights.
"Do you?" he asked, repeating his question in a lower tone.
Kyle stood up. "Yes," he said, making his way to the corner where Chaska was seated before helping the man up. They both made their way to the center of the bar where everyone was dancing, and for a few awkward minutes, they just held each other's hands and moved from side to side.
"Are you nervous?" Chaska asked, letting go of Kyle's hand before hugging the man. They continued to sway from side to side.
"I am, but it's more because I can't dance," Kyle said, wrapping his hands around Chaska as a laugh vibrates through the younger man's body.
"You know, I mean everything I saw when I talk about wanting to build a life with you," Kyle whispered beside Chaska's good ear. The man shivered, tightening his hold on Kyle.
At a point, the two stopped dancing and left for their table to share drinks. They sat next to each other, leaning close and even kissing from time to time. Kyle felt that it was nice that Chaska seemed more at ease at the bar.
At about four in the morning, the two men left the bar, heading towards the parking lot before getting into Kyle's car.
"Are you tired?" Kyle asked, turning to find that Chaska was resting back on his seat and had his eyes closed.
"Yeah."
"Do you want me to drop you off at your apartment, or do you want to sleepover at my place?"
"Anywhere's fine," Chaska muttered as his eyes peeled open. Kyle licked his bottom lip, looking down at the cup holder space between them. He knew he should face the road and start the car, but he had something to say and just needed to build up the courage to do so.
"Chaska."
"Yeah?"
"I don't have a lot of money—"
Chaska snorted. "No one in town does."
Kyle frowned, rolling his eyes before sighing. "That's not the point here," he said, looking at his reflection on the driver's mirror.
"I really want to be in your life, and I want you to be in my life too," Kyle said, tightening his grip on the steering wheel when he felt his fingers shake. "We would have to save up a bit, and still think very hard about it, but I'd like it if we got a place together—that's big enough for both of us and Otis..."
Kyle knew he was rambling now, but he wanted Chaska to know he was serious.
Chaska chuckled. "It almost seems like you're asking me to marry you."
"Well, not now, but that's the goal eventually yes," Kyle said, making Chaska's eyes go wide.
"You're serious?" he asked, hugging his jacket to himself. Kyle hadn't turned up the heat yet.
Kyle looked at Chaska with firm eyes. "When haven't I ever been serious?" he asked and Chaska remained quiet. The young man's heart was beating fast. He could hear it in his ears, and he wondered if Kyle could hear it too. It was that loud.
Kyle looked towards the steering. "You don't have to give me an answer now."
Chaska swallowed the spit in the back of his throat. He felt dizzy. Sick. It wasn't that he didn't want to be with Kyle. He loved the man. He couldn't imagine being with anyone else, but the irrational fear that formed from his past experiences with men that promised him similar things was starting to kick him.
Kyle wasn't those men. Chaska knew that, but he was scared.
The sound of Kyle's phone ringing brought the two men out of their thoughts. Kyle fisher for his device in his pocket, taking it out before checking who it was.
"Who is it?" Chaska asked, noticing the frown on Kyle's face. The blond man sighed, touching the screen of his phone before placing the phone on the dashboard.
"Hey, Kyle! It's Anastasia."
Chaska felt his blood run cold. Kyle's ex-wife, but why was the man letting him listen to her on speaker?
"Hello, Ana, we haven't spoken in a while," Kyle said, looking over Chaska with a reassuring smile. Chaska wasn't sure what was going on, but he trusted Kyle and remained quiet, reaching out to hold the man's hand as he watched him talk to his ex-wife.