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*Based off of the game Kindergarten on Steam, here's a link to the store page https://store.steampowered.com/app/589590/Kindergarten/*
A detective was reincarnated into a body of a kindergartner. All seemed to be going good. However, he soon realizes that he was completely wrong.....
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Although an interesting premise, I thought you could do better then just a copy of a video game plot. Grammatically, I am wondering why there are so many emoticons all over the story, when they add nothing. By my understanding, your dialogue is lacking, as it is hardly introduced, and feels rushed, as if you just wrote whatever game to Mind and fit it into the characters personality, which leads to my next point. You only describe your characters when first introduced, and only through appearance. Try building your characters with other characters actions and the thoughts of their own character, as they just seem stale sitting at the point they are at. Work a little harder at these things, and i’m sure you will get a better grade on your next report.