/ Fantasy / In the Novel World
3.86 (10 valoraciones)
Resumen
April 1,2023
A boy can be seen in an empty class as he is looking out the window. The whole classroom is enveloped in peaceful silence but the same can’t said about the outside. A “ONCE” beautiful girl is being apprehended by the law enforcement and the people around her is giving her a disgusted look.
The boy is seeing everything from the second floor of their school building. No emotion can be detected from his face apart from a calm smile. After seeing the police cars left the school premise, he quietly left the classroom.
Nobody can tell from his expression that the girl who is being taken by the police is his so-called “GIRLFRIEND”.
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It is my first-time writing novel and I don’t have much experience about writing. English my third language and I am not very good at it. So, you guys will find a ton of grammatical or other mistakes. But I will try to improve my writing quality over time. It will of great help if you guys can give me your honest opinion in the comment section. I know there will a lot of criticism because of my writing quality but please keep it in check because it’s not a pleasant feeling to hear people talk crap about someone’s work even if that work isn’t good.
Last but not least
Enjoy my novel!
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Escribe una reseñaYour synopsis is pretty bad. It doesn’t really give me any info on the story, thus making readers not want to read it.
my mother language is not English so I am not so good at it....I like the fact that the author is using common words which is quite understandable.
I am a sucker for mystery and the last chapter gave me a mysterious vibe....so I guess its not so bad for a new novel.
the beginning is pretty good it's setting the personality for the mc and what to kind of expect ncc
I suppose the beginning isn't so horrible, and the English is more legible than in other novels. I hope to see more of you in the future.
I’ve read till ch 26, which is the latest currently and is on hiatus cuz of author’s finals. The beginning was interesting. But after the transmigration, most things were quite similar to the Webnovel ‘No More Pain For This Villain’. My suggestion to the author: differentiate your novel from that one as much and as soon as possible (while you have changed minor plot currently along with names and appearances of characters and places, that is not enough). Also, I don’t like novels with the harem tag, but I’ll give this a shot. I’d recommend to minimise the significance of the harem to the plot or at least make it so there’s only 2-3 members of the harem and they don’t instantly fall for him for some illogical reason; make the whole thing realistic.
Well To start with the writing quality isn’t too bad, but there are a lot of minor mistakes and mixing up past and present tense in the same sentence. I have read till ch 17 in one go so I am not going to comment on update stability. The story development is quite strange I felt like the past 13 chapters I have read were meaningless as the mc has forgotten them and not to mention that starting a story with ntr is not that favourable in the short term. Onto character design The mc feels very unstable and and the rest of the characters feel empty and there was even an instance where the author named the characters boy 1 and boy2. I won’t comment on the world background as I have only read 17 chapters. Overall It’s an okay read
Revelar spoilerAutor Dark_Sider321
It has a different start from other books, which I find very interesting and very promising, and am looking forward to reading more of it.