Capítulo 35: Emotions
*Welp, I'm trying to define some things in here from a specific point of view. If questions arise, feel free to ask away (unless they're about the future of the plot, case in which I'm a bit redundant to answer because I might spoil my own work :))
Enjoy, and see you all later. Peace out and Deus vult.*
Everything that followed was a quick blur in his mind. Mindlessly walking from place to place, talking with people, following Tingyun around to the Artisanship Commission, and having to go inside to find a certain Master Gonshu. Mark knew the things that were bound to happen then, the lesser details being paid for in just a mild headache, while the important things always came crushing down.
The entire way, he was silent, something that did fit his personality, but not the way he's been acting ever since arriving in this universe. He found his hand mindlessly moving to the sword handle that loomed over his shoulder, as if silently pleading with the sword to come to his aid again. He knew he would need it, but at the same time, the weight that came with the depth of his thoughts was slowly eating away at him.
"Let's see... I came here, managed to prevent one death. Jarilo-VI was a good run. However, now that the enemies are getting more powerful, I can't keep up, it seems. The others have a decent grasp on their abilities, while I can barely use mine. I know I need to train and do things, but... is it really worth it? The world has a plan set in motion... my interference might only make it worse in the long run..."
Even as March tried to make him snap back to reality, he didn't bother much with it. He gave some half-hearted words, stating that his body was fatigued from using too much power at once—which was true, but not fully. The mind is an intricate thing, complex in design, with machinations that far exceed the norm. From one mood to another, it was easy to be happy in one second, then have it all crumble down after a failure—especially when the joy is hollow to begin with.
Master Gongshu was found, his robots trying to protect him, but Stelle made quick work of them. Going in deeper, they were nearing the place where the Ebon Deer was to be found, birthed by the roots of the Ambrosial Arbor.
"Mark, are you alright?" asked March once more, feeling partially guilty that maybe, just maybe, he was feeling down thanks to them thinking him a Stellaron Hunter. They weren't far off, but also not close. It was just one tiny thorn that he didn't mind much, even if it stung.
"I'm fine, yeah, just tired and a little out of it. Still, don't mind me; focus on the battles ahead..."
Reluctantly, she dropped the subject, looking at Welt with pleading eyes, silently begging him to say something that would fix Mark. He shook his head slightly, acknowledging that what Mark needed most was time to sort out his thoughts.
Just as expected, the Ebon Deer was soon birthed, brought into the world from a large cocoon-like thing with a flash of warm, golden light. Mark stared at it, resting against his pipe. The massive creature could easily stomp them away if they weren't quick enough. Without thinking twice, Stelle went into action, showing her skills in full.
She dashed quickly, moving faster than Mark could even with the energy augmenting his body. Her nimble movements carried her from side to side, right beneath the deer, where she took her change to strike as hard as possible at its ribs. The hit cracked them loudly, but the wound healed as soon as it opened.
"Retreat for now, everybody!" shouted Mark as he moved down a set of stairs. Stelle moved back, and the deer didn't follow, simply standing idle to protect the Creation Furnace that was entangled in roots.
"What should we do now?" asked Stelle, looking over the group. She felt how heavy the strike had been against the creature, but its healing abilities rendered it useless. Mark's gaze looked around at some buds that grew through the ground.
"We burn those things away. Cut its power source, and we should be fine with it."
All eyes fell on him, the answer sounding random, but Master Gongshu approved.
"While you were fighting, I noticed that the buds on the roots were glowing as the creature healed. I think the boy is right: we need to burn them away."
Again, the mission went on as expected, with the roots being burned away as more mindless walking was required. Mark couldn't help it but try and figure out if his sword would be able to overpower the Abundance. After all, it did do quite the cut, and his powers were somehow able to reverse the effects of corrosion caused by a Stellaron. It was a similar case as the one in Belobog.
"Wait a damn minute... if I could use my powers... then maybe, just maybe... I would have been able to save those who were influenced by the Stellaron... the Mara is a curse, yes, but... what if the ones that were forced into that stage by the Stellaron could have been saved? What if I could use my powers?"
Guilt instantly struck, grabbing him by the neck, trying to stop his breath. The idea that his inability to use what he had at his disposal led to those deaths was looming over.
"No, wait, be logical, Mark... they were bound to die either way... there's no clear proof that you could have stopped it... the curse is a whole 'nother thing. It's not up to you, right? But you do have the power to change fate... I'm not bound by it... What even am I?"
Outsider. Someone the world could reject at any moment. He didn't belong to it. He was not needed.
"Not needed..." he whispered, catching no one's attention with the sudden sound. They were busy handling the sprouts, destroying them all to cut the Ebon Deer's healing power. Indeed, they managed to handle it easily, just that it took more time away from them.
"No, it's the right time. It's how it was meant to be before my intervention."
Steadily, they returned to the deer, ready for battle. Stelle swung her bat as she got ready, while March prepared her bow, taking aim. The two made quick work on it, despite how agitated it seemed. Perhaps even immortal beings could feel the rusty scythe of death loom over their necks.
Before he even knew it, the battle was over, and they were on their way to the Exalting Sanctum. Stelle checked her phone, and Mark's mind set in motion. He wiped the blood that poured on his face, this time not stopping soon. More than a few drops kept falling, splashing against the ground. His mind spun around, taking him off-balance.
"Mark!"
Welt grabbed him by the arm, supporting him up.
"What's wrong? Your nose is bleeding out more than anyone normally should."
He sighed, using Welt as support, while the metal pipe kept him steady on the other one. Slowly, the feeling passed, and the blood stopped, leaving him with the memories. Dan Shu, the woman who was working hand in hand with the ones who snuck the Stellaron inside the Luofu. She wasn't part of the good ones, but trying to interfere in that moment would do more harm. Along the memories, he saw a little girl crying—a sight that tore his heart back when he had played the game.
"Yes, I'm fine, no worries. It just happens sometimes."
Welt wanted to press for more details, but he knew that Mark would only dismiss him with quick words threw around, too secretive for his own good.
"If you really believe so, then I have no choice but to trust your judgment."
Mark slowly nodded, letting go of Welt as they boarded the starskiff. Once arrived, he allowed Stelle to go and talk with Dan Shu. Meanwhile, he chose to go alone and find the little girl that Stelle would have to go looking for. Still, he wished to handle some other issue, on the disciplinary side.
"It's not just the main cast that should be helped, right? After all... it's the least I can do without being too much of a hindrance."
He walked slowly, his sore muscles slowly giving way to relief as time passed. Despite him still using them, the pain was vanishing bit by bit, crumbling away as it always did—until a certain point when it would come back to haunt him for days.
Soon enough, the scene came into view, a tiny girl stuck on the edge of what looked like a tiny water fountain—or at least Mark thought it to be something along those lines, an artificial pond of sorts.
Three kids were laughing and causing a ruckus around her, and she cried with little muffled noises. Somehow, his blood boiled. He walked over, the kids not sparing him a thought. In the game, the main character was lenient, but Mark did hate one thing: brats like that. They didn't care that someone was watching, going on with their ridicule behavior.
"Ey, dipshits, leave the girl alone."
They all turned at him, scoffing and trying to glare at him.
"Who do you think you are, outsider? Leave us or I'm going to beat you up."
That's all he needed to hear. He grabbed the kid by the collar, lifting him up with one arm. His gaze was fixed on him, trying to shove fear in the rascal's being.
"Listen here, and listen well... I'll only say this one... Keep doing this sort of thing, and you have my word... No one will be able to save you in time..."
With that, he grabbed the handle of the sword, mainly to send a message. The kids suddenly piped down, staring at him with clear fear in their eyes. No one dared breathe the wrong way. Suddenly, they started crying, but Mark couldn't care less. He put the brat down, looking below with burning hatred in his eyes.
"Scram."
As he blinked, no one but the tiny girl remained, visually impaired, still scared on the ledge.
"Sorry you had to hear that. Here, let me help you."
His voice was suddenly comforting, completely opposite to the tone he used just a moment earlier. Still, his hands were shaking from nothing but pure anger. He had seen his fair share of things like that back in his world, so having to witness them in such a place was more than enough to bring out bad memories.
"Thank you," said the little girl, her voice barely audible. Slowly, guided by Mark, she made her way down, still holding on to his hand. The story she had was known by him already, and it tore his heart. The very being who had helped her was a traitor to the Xianzhou.
"My, I didn't know that you had such a soft spot in you."
It was none other than Stelle, making her way over with the medicine. Mark scoffed slightly, shaking his head.
"You saw nothing."
The little girl slowly let go of his hand, listening to the scene unfold. Stelle knelt down, sitting at the same level as her.
"Here is some medicine. Dan Shu sent me with it, saying that it was for you."
The little girl spoke politely, making sure to thank them.
"Thank you, miss and mister."
Mark sighed, unsure of what the girl would do, but she walked away silently, the medicine in her tiny hands. Her steps were little, but she knew where to walk. She must have gotten used to the blindness.
"To think a child would suffer such a fate... alas, everyone has a cross to bear..."
He looked at Stelle, a contemplative look on his face.
"Let's go. I think you should report back to this Dan Shu."
He stood by her side, walking along without talking much. His mind was in turmoil all the time ever since his Sword of Will didn't manifest when needed.
Standing against a wall, he waited, only for Stelle to return with the woman in question. Mark knew that he'd need to get a word in with her as well.
"We're going to the Artisanship Commission to look for the girl. Dan Shu says she wanders over there, and you know what sort of chaos the Luofu is in."
Said and done, they left together, their steps hurried. Stelle guided her, holding her hand as they walked, while Mark dashed ahead, knowing where and what was happening.
Just like that, he came across the sight of the weird creatures he'd fought a few times, cornering a crying child. Pipe in hand, he moved ahead, striking them with whatever power his muscles could muster. It wasn't enough, but he did create some distance to put himself between the girl and whatever the monsters were.
"Speak with someone of your own size, ugly things."
He swung again, watching in horror as one of them prepared to blow fire his way. In that moment, Stelle was on them, cracking them to bits with just a swing. Just how much power did she have?
"Phew, thanks."
She nodded, and Mark moved aside to look at the kid. She was still crying, scared, curled up in the corner. The sight was pitiful, but he hated pity. He knew that it ruined someone. Instead, he didn't choose pity, he always tried to choose empathy. No need to feel bad for someone, but you do need to understand them.
That's what most people wish for: someone to understand them.
The only gesture of comfort he knew of that could be done with most people, that's what he did. Gently, his hand settled on her head, and to his surprise, a dim flash of white light was seen moving along his hand, seeping into the girl's skin. For a moment, he was scared stiff, with Stelle staring with the same confusion as him, but then a little detail came to mind.
Back when the Stellaron from Jarilo-VI had taken over, it spoke a few curious words about him and what was inside. A spark of light. He knew that the light wasn't from him. He just looked up to the sky, staring beyond them, thanking in silence for being alive and for everything.
Dan Shu came to the girl, giving her a gentle scolding, like a mother's serious words that are just advice given out of love. The girl looked up at her, speaking softly.
"Dan Shu... is this you?"
She blinked, and both Stelle and Mark were staring with big eyes. She looked their way, her eyes looking alive.
"Big brother...big sister..."
Hearing himself being called big brother was odd for Mark, since not even his sister had called him that back home, simply referring to him as brother or Mark, but he knew that it was just a term of respect.
"Yeah... we're here..."
His eyes were glistering, but he quickly blinked it away, smiling softly. Stelle glanced down at his hand, trying to understand what had happened.
"Mark, is this your doing?"
He shook his head.
"Not mine, no... guess I'm just... capable of being a vessel for when it's needed..."
The girl just looked around, staring at everything with so much wonder that words could never comprehend.
Dan Shu remained silent, stunned by the sudden turn of events. She herself had no sight, so Mark walked up to her, unsure of whether it would work or not.
"Dan Shu, please allow me..."
He placed his hand on her head, but nothing happened. Indeed, it wasn't for him to decide. That spark of light inside of him, Mark knew what it was, or at least he understood to a certain degree. As a man of faith, he knew.
"I guess it didn't work, huh? Well, it is what it is—at least in this case. Let's go back."
He turned around and left first, the others coming together behind him. He was trying to understand a certain logic, but there was none he could find. In the end, it wasn't up to him, but perhaps his crazy ideas could be used in some way. For a moment, he felt some hope. Even if his powers were too much for him, he could still use the knowledge he had, the insight, and the theories he'd come up with or seen to try and make the world better for others.
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