Capítulo 1: Meeting a Bunch of Weirdos
Far away from any landmass, a single woman could be found floating on the deep blue water. She had blue hair with a few red streaks that would go down all the way to her hips if she wasn't currently floating in the water.
She wore a simple blue tank top and a pair of black hot pants, and if her eyelids weren't closed, one would see a pair of deep purple eyes.
After floating for a few minutes, the woman groaned in discomfort before opening her eyes and looking around in confusion.
'I see, must have gotten drunk again. How unusual. Usually, I wake up covered in naked women and not by water.'
[Ding! Congratulations to host Yuna Uzumaki for awakening the Greatest Pervert System!]
'I don't need a system to become the greatest pervert, for I already am the greatest pervert.'
[That... is actually true. Should have thought about this more.]
'Mah, don't sweat it, Kurama.'
After finishing the conversation with the giant ten-tailed fox living within her, Yuna pondered her current situation and how she got her, and after coming up with nothing, she simply shrugged her shoulders and started floating...
Or at least that was what she wanted to do, but after trying to utilize her cultivation, she quickly realized that the cultivation she tried to use was no longer there.
'Yet again, it's all gone. Is this a split body? Maybe a clone? Oh well, I have no idea what's going on.'
[Weren't cultivators supposed to despair when they realize their cultivation is gone?]
'Meh, I'm a pervert, so there is no problem.'
[I... see not even a sliver of correlation between those two things, so I'll ignore that answer and pretend to have heard nothing in fear of what kind of degenerate correlation you will come up with.]
'You sure have gotten used to this, haven't you?'
[It's the only way to prevent myself from going insane.]
'It's cute that you still think of yourself as sane, but whatever. Let's think about what to do next.'
[I AM SANE!!!]
As Yuna was drifting in the ocean, pondering her next move, she noticed something approaching her from the corner of her eyes.
'Oh? Nice, a ship.'
As she wasn't sure whether the people on the ship could see her or not, she started swimming towards it, but after swimming for a few seconds, she paused because she could now see the ship in greater detail.
'Is that figurehead a sheep? How peculiar~'
[Is that really the most important thing you should worry about?]
'Geez, chill, Kurama. I noticed the pirate flag. Well, I need some information about where exactly I am, so a bunch of people I can be a little rougher with is just perfect.'
[So the first thing you do after coming to another world is torture people, huh? How fitting.]
'What are you talking about, Kurama? Torturing people? It's just a bunch of pirates~.'
While Yuna was chatting with her inner fox, there suddenly was movement on the ship sailing in the distance, which Yuna assumed was a sign that someone in the crew had noticed her.
'Oi, Kurama, am I still drunk, or is a hand attached to a stretching arm currently flying at me?'
[Did Orochimaru make it here?]
'Who the hell is Orochimaru?'
[*Sigh* the guy with the tongue elongation technique.]
'Oh! I knew that! He was... Is a great man?'
["Was" Anko killed him.]
'He was a great man.'
[Pretty sure he was into little boys.]
'He was a man.'
[Are you sure? I believe we never were entirely sure about that.]
'... It was.'
[Well, that's a statement I can get behind.]
While Yuna and Kurama were talking nonsense, the hand reached Yuna, grabbed her shoulder, and pulled her towards the ship at high speed.
As Yuna was approaching the little ship head-first at high speed, she couldn't help but wonder whether whoever was pulling her towards the ship planned to kill her in the process.
"YOU IDIOT!!! YOU ARE GOING TO KILL HER!!!"
Hearing a female voice yelling, presumably at the person pulling her, Yuna quickly got her question answered.
'So that person has no malicious intent and is just an idiot.'
Rolling her eyes at the silly situation, Yuna pressed on a few nerves of the hand holding her shoulder, making it open by itself.
"Eh? Why did my hand open?"
"AH! DO YOU REALLY WANT TO KILL HER!?"
As the sounds of a fist smashing on a head echoed over the sea, Yuna stabilized herself in midair, allowing her hand to touch the railing of the ship briefly.
The moment she came into contact with it, she pushed herself up, transforming horizontal momentum into a vertical one allowing her to do a few flips in the air and safely land on the deck of the ship.
"Ohhh~ That was really cool!"
Initially, Yuna assumed those words to be sarcastic, but after seeing the shining eyes of the one who said them, she quickly dismissed that thought.
She looked around the deck and couldn't help but wonder how un-pirate-like this whole group felt.
'The only one looking somewhat like a pirate is the green-haired guy with the three swords.
Mhh? Wait a moment, haven't I seen that guy before?'
Before Yuna could think about the familiar-looking swordsman any longer, a blonde man in a black suit arrived in front of her offering her a red rose while his eyes had turned into hearts.
"Beautiful lady, can I invite you to dinner?"
'Wow, as soon as he saw me, he started hitting on me. Although it's only natural to do so, this guy clearly is a pervert.'
[Pot calling the kettle...]
Before Kurama could finish his sentence, Yuna and the rose the man was holding had vanished, and Yuna was now standing in front of this crew's only female member: A young woman with orange hair.
"Beautiful lady, can I invite you to join my harem?"
[... black.]
Naturally, the woman instantly fell in love with Yuna...
Well, that was at least how Yuna interpreted her action of backing away with a weirded-out look on her face.
[Smooth as always.]
'You know me~'
[You are utterly impervious to sarcasm as always, aren't you?]
'Mhh? Why did you just randomly mention that?'
"Shishishi, I don't really get it, but you are funny. Ah, I'm Luffy; I'm going to be the Pirate King!"
The moment Luffy announced his goal, the orange-haired woman slapped the back of his head with an angry expression.
"Don't tell that to someone you have just met! Oh, and I'm Nami, by the way."
As soon as Nami was done berating Luffy, she introduced herself as well.
'I really wonder what's the dynamic of this group. Luffy's hat looks similar to the one on the ship's Jolly Roger, so I initially assumed that he was the captain, but I'm not so sure about that anymore. Oh well, I might as well introduce myself.
"I'm Yuna; I'm going to be the Harem Queen."
"Harem Queen?"
As soon as that term left Yuna's mouth, Luffy looked at her weirdly while putting up his guard. He didn't really get what a "Harem Queen" was, but if it got in the way of his dream, he was ready to fight.
"What does that mean?"
"Mhh, it means I want to sleep with a lot of beautiful women."
"Beautiful women?"
Luffy tilted his head in confusion as an image of multiple women sleeping next to each other popped up in his head.
"Ehh, I don't really get it~."
'This guy sure is innocent~'
[Your horns are showing.]
'Whoops, gotta keep those hidden~.'
While Luffy was looking at Yuna in confusion, the blonde man who initially tried to woo Yuna conjured an image as well, but he was far less innocent than the one Luffy had, resulting in blood flowing out of his nose while a sloppy smile twisted his face.
"Ahh~ What a paradise. Is this the All Blue?"
Ignoring her crew mates' antics, Nami sighed deeply while lamenting how this crew managed to pick up another weirdo.
"Anyway, the pervert that is bleeding out on the ground is called Sanji, while the weird-looking guy with the long nose is Usopp..."
"Oi! Who are you calling 'weird-looking'? I'm CAPTAIN USOPP, and I..."
"...anyway, the guy over there with the green hair is called Zoro."
"*Snore*"
"... the greatest sniper..."
"I't quite impressive how he manages to continue sleeping despite the commotion."
"... and I can... OI! Don't ignore me!"
While Usopp continued his narration, Yuna and Nami weren't paying him much attention, and Nami simply continued her introduction of the last member of the crew, who was firmly sleeping.
"Quite the... unique... crew you have here. I wonder who the captain is?"
Hearing Yuna's question, Nami sighed deeply as her finger pointed at Luffy, who only smiled widely. Seeing Nami point at Luffy, Yuna's eyebrows rose as she resumed speaking.
"No, I mean, like, who's in charge of this crew?"
Nami sighed yet again as her finger unmovingly pointed at Luffy.
"Shishishi, isn't it obvious that I'm the captain?"
"Err, sure."
Yuna decided to simply accept things as they were while gently patting Nami's shoulder.
"My condolences."
Nami could only shake her head with a wry smile when Yuna gave Nami her condolences. Obviously, Nami had a deep respect and loyalty towards Luffy due to everything he had done for her, but she could certainly tell why an outsider wouldn't believe Luffy to be the captain as he was more or less the opposite of what one might expect a pirate captain to be like.
That, and the fact that Luffy was rather easygoing and... well... not that smart, certainly made him look unfit to be a captain. Well, Luffy just has the kind of personality that drew people in, which justified his position as the captain of the crew. If push came to shove, the whole crew would back Luffy up, while Luffy would do the same for everyone in his crew, which might as well be enough to make him a good captain.
"Anyway, why were you drifting so far out in the sea? What exactly happened."
Hearing Nami's question, Yuna only shrugged her shoulders and answered her.
"Sorry, no clue how I got here."
"Mhh? You don't know? Maybe amnesia?"
"Nah. I just got piss-drunk and somehow ended up here. Me being here might have been someone's prank, or I might be the one to travel here by myself. All in all, I have no clue what's going on."
Nami couldn't help but facepalm as she lamented her fate that she joined a crew that was prone to picking up weirdos. Well, it's not like Yuna had actually joined, but that was beside the point.
"Anyway, do you, perchance, have a map, so I can orientate myself? Preferably a world map."
Nami could only shake her head after Yuna made her request. After all, there was just a small pirate crew, so how could they possess a proper world map? In fact, Nami wasn't even certain whether something like that even existed.
"No, we don't have a world map. Or at least not a proper one. In fact, I'm pretty sure that only the Marines have the capabilities to create a world map. All I can offer you is a crude map roughly depicting the location of the Four Seas and the Grand Line."
Obviously, Nami assumed that Yuna wanted to look at a map to find her home island, which would not show up on such a map. Simultaneously, Nami wondered why Yuna's first thought would be to look at a world map instead of something more local. Just how far did she assume she traveled within one night of getting drunk?
'The more I talk with her, the weirder the situation gets. I really wonder where she came from.'
"Man, don't worry about it. A crude one will do."
Nami only shrugged her shoulder after Yuna answered her and went inside the ship to fetch the map.
"Alright, I'll get it for you."
'It's getting weirder and weirder. What does she want to do with a world map in her current situation? Does she seriously not know what this place looks like?'
In the end, Nami decided to simply fetch the map for Yuna. It was pretty much common knowledge how the Four Seas and the Grandline were structured, so it's not like a map depicting them was worth much.
As Nami was leaving, Yuna let a gaze wander, and moments later, a smirk appeared on her face as she looked at Usopp.
"Oi, you got anything on you to draw something?"
"Draw something?"
Hearing Usopp's questions, Yuna's smirk intensifies as she points at the still-sleeping Zoro.
"Hehe, isn't his face a great canvas? Let's paint something on it~"
At first, Usopp was taken aback by Yuna's smirk, but after hearing her words, he couldn't help but smile deviously while pulling at a brush.
"Shishishi sounds like fun~."
After listening to the conversation between Yuna and Usopp, Luffy couldn't help but chuckle while already thinking about what to draw.
A few moments later, Nami returned to the ship's deck and found Yuna, Luffy, and Usopp squatting in front of Zoro, talking with each other.
"Nonono, if you draw on someone's face, you need to draw at least one dick, but never more than three. That's like the law."
"As if there was a law like that!"
"Mhh, but aren't we pirates? Shouldn't we do things that go against the law?"
Yuna briefly pondered on what to do after Luffy mentioned them being pirates, and seconds later, she nodded her head in agreement.
"Very well, I'll allow the fourth dick."
Seeing what was going on, Nami could only facepalm while deciding to ignore the situation.
"I got you the world map you wanted, Yuna."
Hearing someone calling her name, Yuna's attention was drawn away from Zoro as her gaze landed on Nami, who was holding a rolled-up parchment.
Yuna quickly approached her, and after eagerly opening the map Nami was offering her, she came to an immediate conclusion.
'As expected, this is not the world I'm used to, nor is it any I have ever visited.
How weird. Looking at this map and how orderly this place is structured, it almost feels artificially made.'
[A whole world?]
'Who knows? There are some strange people out there, Kurama.'
[Yeah, and I have met the strangest of them all: you. As far as I know, you never tried something like this.]
'Well, I simply have different interests, so it can't be helped.'
[So you do not deny the part where I claimed you are the strangest, huh?]
'Why deny the truth?'
As Yuna was checking out the map, Nami eyed her with curiosity, wondering what she was looking for and what she was trying to achieve by studying a map like this.
To Nami's surprise, it took Yuna not even five seconds to nod in approval, seemingly having found what she was looking for.
"Well, although I expected this, it seems I am..."
"WHAT ARE YOU DOING!? WERE YOU DRAWING ON ME!?"
Before Yuna could tell Nami her conclusion, an anger-filled roar echoed over the ship. Naturally, the owner of that voice was Zoro, who had just woken up and realized that someone was drawing something on his face.
"Z-Z-Zoro, calm down. This wasn't our idea."
"That's right, Yuna was the one who wanted to draw on your face."
"Who the hell is Yuna!?"
Looking around the ship, Zoro quickly noticed that there was indeed an additional person on the ship who was currently talking with Nami.
Feeling Zoro's gaze on her, Yuna had to suppress a smirk as her eyes widened in surprise.
"I-I was the one who suggested that? You just fished me out of the sea and saved my life; how could I possibly dare to mess with one of you like that?"
While Luffy and Usopp were utterly dumbfounded at how smoothly Yuna lied to Zoro, Zoro gritted his teeth in anger as he glared at the duo.
"So you are not only messing with me like this, but you are even pushing the blame on an innocent bystander, huh!?"
"W-W-Wait, Zoro..."
"T-T-This isn't..."
Moments later, the sound of Zoro beating up Luffy and Usopp echoed over the ocean as Yuna returned her attention to Nami, who could only flinch at how smoothly and ruthlessly Yuna backstabbed Luffy and Usopp.
'I thought she was just some random, somewhat silly weirdo, but this woman is very dangerous. I'm honestly not sure if I could pull off lying like that this smoothly.'
While Nami's caution towards Yuna increased with the background noise of two people getting beat, Yuna rolled up the parchment she had gotten from Nami as a relaxed smile appeared on her face.
"Anyway, after seeing the world map, I have figured out my situation: I have traveled to another world."
"Haa?"
While all of that was happening, Sanji was still on the ground, blood slowly dripping out of his nose while a deranged smile marred his face.
"Ah~ To think I would find the All Blue this early~"
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