Capítulo 1: Chapter 1 : I died
"Alright class, good morning!" , my professor said as soon as he entered the room. As usual, this professor always wears a blue polo.
We greeted him back while he was placing his laptop and notebook on the table. He then grabbed one marker on it and began to start writing something on the board.
"Ren, can you give us a brief summary of our discussion yesterday?", he called out to me while he was still busy writing something on the board.
"Sure. We discussed the three structures of personality according to Sigmund Freud and these are id, ego and superego. Id is in charge of our libido and instincts. Ego is responsible for our rationality or the things that will do us no good. While, superego is in charge of our morals and values. I believe those are the key points of our discussion yesterday. ", me trying to answer his question as smoothly as possible.
"That's right! It's good that you understood the key points of our lesson yesterday. Now, Joana, can you please elaborate id?", acknowledging my answer, prof then proceeded to ask my classmates a set of questions.
Then, the discussion went on to what anxiety is. As far as I can understand, anxiety is the feeling of fear and dread without obvious reasons according to Freud. It is inherent to all living things. It can occur to everyone with life and intelligence. Atleast, that's what my professor believes.
Then the discussion mentioned that Freud made anxiety an important part of his personality theory, asserting that it is fundamental to the development of all neurotic and psychotic behavior. It is suggested that the prototype of all anxiety is the birth trauma.
The fetus in its mother's womb is in the most stable and secure of worlds, where every need is satisfied without delay. But at birth, the organism is thrust into a hostile environment. Suddenly required to quickly adapt to reality because its instinctual demands may not always be immediately met. The newborn's nervous system, immature and ill prepared, is bombarded with diverse sensory stimuli.
As such, the stimuli caused so much stress to the newborn and resulted in the creation of anxiety.
I guess I can now say that Earth is hell itself.
I inwardly laughed at that thought.
Then we went onto the topic of the different anxiety that Freud mentioned. These are reality, neurotic and moral anxiety.
As mentioned, reality anxiety involves a fear of real dangers in the real world. Fear of fires, hurricanes, earthquakes, and similar natural disasters. There are also fears of speeding cars or even wild animals. Naturally, we feel fear if we feel threatened. Excessively feeling fear of these reality-based dangers will cause us to seclude ourselves.
Some of my classmates are still confused by this so my prof decided to do roleplay.
He called out to one of my classmates and let him stand on the other side of the room while he was standing near the door. My professor then said that he will seriously throw the eraser that he is holding right now, at him so my classmate positions himself to defend.
My professor threw the eraser at my classmate who tried to dodge it immediately. He was able to dodge the eraser but the eraser created a loud thud. It hit the cabinet that contains our cleaning materials.
The thud shocked some of our classmates.
My professor then smiled. He motioned my classmate to sit down and faced us.
"That's fear. When a certain event lets you feel like you're in danger you feel fear. On the other hand, people with anxiety always feel that way on a daily basis or more often than any of us here. The key word is danger. Normal people take these many stimuli to feel fear but those with anxiety may only need a stimulus to feel it. That's all for today's class. We will clear out neurotic and moral anxiety in our next discussion. Please study these topics so we can proceed more next time. No activities and assignments. I'll let you enjoy your weekend. Goodbye", my prof said as he finished his discussion.
That's nice. Today's discussion is fruitful again. I really like this professor.
As I am thinking about that, I'm putting my things inside my bag so I can go out.
Suddenly, somebody called out to me.
"Ren, want to come over today? Me and some of our classmates decided to do karaoke at my place today", Jon invited me to a drinking session.
"I'll pass today, bud. I still need to buy some stuff at home.", I declined.
Jon and co headed out after that. I don't usually join them whenever they invite me to come. I live alone so I need to be responsible for myself. Unlike them, I have a job that I need to do.
Speaking of which, I'm in a hurry today so I'm kind of running so I can quickly ride a jeepney heading straight for work. I still have at least an hour or so to go but, considering the traffic, I still might get late.
As I was about to cross the pedestrian lane, I heard a horn and my vision black out suddenly.
[Notice]
I suddenly heard a voice out of nowhere.
[Commencing soul extraction from the physical body from the individual Ren De Castro. Proceed the process of reincarnation]
I died?! When?! How?! Wait, did I hear it right? Reincarnation?
[Notice]
[Sensing consciousness retention from the soul. Asking permission from the ••• realm for processing •••]
After hearing those, there was a long pause.
So I died, huh? Maybe that's why my vision suddenly blacked out earlier. I still want to graduate. I still haven't proven my worth yet, haha. I can't study psychology now. I'm being reincarnated so it really doesn't matter now. I just hope that it's good this time. This is better than living that life like I was in hell.
[Permission Granted]
Here she voices again.
Reincarnate me now please. HAHAHAHA. I can't wait.
[Opening the door to God's Domain]
After hearing that, the black space around me lightened up. Now, the space is covered with never ending whiteness. Geez, I'm feeling dizzy right now.
I could imagine that this is the view of the protagonists from the isekai anime and manga that I read.
I feel nauseated. There's this warm feeling in this space.
"Come here", a voice was heard out of nowhere.
A door appeared right in front of me.
It is a dark brown door with gold patterns in it. It has no knob and the moment that I approach it, it opens itself.
I was blinded for a couple of seconds then I saw a path of light that leads to the center of the room.
There, I'm seeing a golden light in the figure of a man. There's also a table there with no other things in it.
He then motioned me to come so I obliged.
As I was walking towards the room, I felt like I'm walking on water. In every step that I make, it creates small ripples in the path of light.
This is amazing. All of this. Everything I see and experience right now feels so magical.
"Who are you?", I asked the moment I stood before him.
"What do I look like to you?", he asked instead of answering my question.
I asked first, you know?
That's what I want to say but I feel like I shouldn't so I instead answer his question.
"You look like a light in the shape of a man. I'm wondering here if you're dressed or not 'cause if not, then you're basically naked.", I answered him.
The man chuckled then spoke.
"That's what I look like to you, huh? Then you don't have a clear vision of God then.", he said.
"God? What do you mean?", I asked.
Is he God?
"It's exactly as I said. I'm God. I don't have an actual image, you see? It's based on what a soul visioned me to be. Some will picture me as a father, a young lad, a woman or even a dark being. It depends on how a soul wants God to be. From what I can see, you're one of those souls who view God as an entity of light.", he explained.
"Well, if you're really God. Pardon me for saying this but I don't see or picture God as an entity of light. When I was living, I didn't exactly believe or not believe in you on Earth. I'm kind of agnostic on Earth. I believe that there is one entity above all but I don't want to believe in the groups that worship you there. I believe that if there's God then his divinity won't let you see his actuality. I believe that there's no actual representation that should represent you.", I said. I honestly tell him what I believe. I don't know if that sounds disrespectful to him or not but that's my honest thought about it.
"Thank you for clearing that out. Now, let's proceed with your reincarnation.", he suddenly said.
"Wait, I will reincarnate?", I ask.
This is just a dream, right?
"No, this is not a dream.", he then said as if he was able to read my thoughts.
"Yes, I'm capable of reading your heart.", he confirmed it.
He paused for a bit then continued to talk. I feel like I was about to argue with it but it seems like something is stopping me from doing so.
"I thought so. It's dangerous for you to stay here for a bit longer so I will explain this to you briefly. You are one of those souls who transcends over the mortal realm. A mature soul. You gained awareness of this realm. As such, you are permitted to choose. Go back on Earth and live another life without memories of this or go to another world and reincarnate there. What would you choose?", he made me choose after explaining to me those.
"Why would I not have memories of this if I choose to return to Earth?", I asked.
"Because I will reset your soul. I will give you a brand new life on Earth.", he explained.
"What about the latter? Isn't that a brand new life as well?", I asked again. I want to be able to understand this completely so I can appropriately choose.
"It's kind of a brand new life because you will have another physical body and new experiences. But for me, it is a continuation of your soul's journey. Your soul is strong enough to continue gaining experience. It developed a will. Your will.", He then explained again.
"Okay I'll choose to go over the other world.", I said.
"At last."
Those are the last words that I hear from him.
[Notice.]
[Processing soul transfer of Individual Ren to a hu-]
I don't want to be a human anymore.
[Notice]
[Incorporating individual Ren's request]
[Requesting Permission from ••• realm]
[Permission Granted]
[Initializing status board]
[According to ••• Individual Ren will choose his race]
Me?
I feel like God wants to add spice to this.
A blue translucent screen appeared on my line of sight. It contains different kinds of races. How do I know? It is in the title of the screen.
Five races were displayed on the screen.
As I have clicked the tabs, it shows the definition of each race and an option to see the evolution tree.
[Angel Race is a race that doesn't have a will of their own but they are not mindless beings. Angel race originated from the Greater Spirit of Light and the Divine Phoenix.***]
[Demon Race is a race that has a will of their own but has the curse of unfathomable desire. Demon Race originated from the Greater Spirit of Darkness and the Seed of the True Dragon Yggdrasil.***]
[Spirit Race is a race derived from the Original Spirit. Most of them don't have a will and just acting depends on the will of the Spirit King. Spirits that gained will are governed by the Spirit Queen.***]
[Beastkin Race is a race with the features of an animal. Their race has great physical strength. The Beastkin race originated from the Divine Animal Byakko and the True Ancestor.***]
[Monsters is a race that doesn't have a will and mindless beings. They are driven by instinct. Monster Race originated from Chaos.***]
Those are the contents of each tab. I feel like there's something else that I should know about the races but it doesn't give me more details.
I don't want to be mindless so I think the most feasible race that I should choose is the Demon Race and the Beastkin Race. The downside of the Demon Race is that I'll be driven by desire while Beastkin Race doesn't have a clear downside since it wasn't mentioned in the information screen. I'm also not much of a fan of beastkin whenever I read isekai or fantasy novels so I decided to pick the Demon Race.
It is better to have a clear knowledge about the downside of this so I know how to handle it.
Picking the Demon Race. It showed me another screen where I could see a tree. There are tons of races there. I couldn't choose. Demon, Vampire, Succubus and other races of the demons were listed there. What intrigues me is that the goblin race is on the furthest root.
I thought goblins are monsters.
Come to think of it. Goblins can summon demons and other kinds of beings or familiars.
It's a bummer that aside from the general information about the general race it doesn't show any other information about the specific races.
Okay. Maybe the goblin race in this world is the safest way for me to live. Considering the human invasion on my swarm, I can just probably live alone.
I don't want to be stressed out about politics and all that stuff. Having reincarnated in a race where there may be politics in it will just cause me hassle. I want to live freely.
Thinking about that, I clicked on the goblin race.
[Notice]
[Individual Ren Chooses to Reincarnate as a Goblin.]
[Creating a Body that can Inhabit Individual Ren's Soul.]
[Obtained Intrinsic Skill: Vigor]
[Notice]
[God's Gift]
[Obtained Unique Skill: Personality]
[Converting Life Experiences from Earth into mana.]
[As Individual Ren was able to obtain the knowledge of the Races Origin, he was able to fulfill the condition]
[Obtained Unique Skill: Saint Sage]
[Reincarnation Complete]
As I have heard of those words, my consciousness faded away.
Unbeknown to Ren, the voice is still processing few things for him
[Commencing World Psalm].
[UNLEASHING WORLD'S DESIRE]
End of the Chapter
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