Lancer Arturia had lived a long life. From the start of her childhood, to the ruination of her reign as King Arthur, she'd seen and experienced many things. However, an emotion that compels her to forsake everything else just for the sake of one individual was a new sensation. Just as the iteration of the Arturia she had witnessed, she'd lived what amounted to a second life in her own world. Rather than just a repeat of the events that she'd been familiar with, everything became new upon the addition of a single man.
At first, she was somewhat averse to her Shirou. The notion of mentally being several years older than him had caused her to subconsciously put up a barrier that kept her from growing too attached to anything. What was the point when she knew who was likely to live or to die? In this case, she understood that her entire Kingdom and people had already once perished. What was to stop that from happening again? Of course, she'd do everything in her power to prevent this, but on the off chance that she failed, the mental barrier she'd erected could keep her sanity from breaking. It was the only defence she had, and that endearing fool had slipped right passed it as easily as piercing through wet paper.
She'd tried to keep him at an arm's distance, but his persistence and maturity slowly chipped away at her until she found herself thinking of him at each passing moment. Different from how others treated her, he seemed able to understand her on a fundamental level.
He could tell when she was frustrated, disheartened, or even questioning her own ideals. He always seemed to just look at her and tell if something was wrong. Again, and again, this happened all the way from her childhood to the present time. Sometime she even found herself question if she were the one who was mentally younger than Shirou. She didn't know when she began to realize it, but the distance she'd been trying to keep between them had become infinitesimally small.
It was in the minor things at first such as seeking him out for no reason, or growing irritated whenever Emily sidled up to him. Arturia knew she wasn't being fair to Emily as she'd agreed to support Emily's infatuation with Shirou early on, but everything reached a tipping point on the day Caliburn was drawn.
Lancer Arturia wasn't sure what happened with Saber Arturia on the day she pulled out Caliburn, but Lancer Arturia knew full well what happened to her at Merlin's meddling. In her Merlin's words "Your indecisiveness is annoying."
If Merlin caused Saber Arturia and Shirou to kiss on the day of Caliburn's drawing, Lancer Arturia's Merlin had to take it a step further to convince Lancer Arturia to stop fooling herself.
After Caliburn had been drawn, Merlin had knocked Lancer Arturia and Shirou unconscious with magic before stripping the two, burning their clothes, and then dumping them alone in a vacant brothel. Lancer Arturia had been the first to rouse herself awake, and she was stunned to find herself naked and lying on top of her Shirou. Their bare skin was touching such that if Shirou were awake, he'd be able to feel the way Lancer Arturia was heating up. It went to show the true extent of Lancer Arturia's feelings that her first thought upon waking up wasn't to cover herself, but to make sure that no one else was around to take advantage of her Shirou.
The realization was damning. She couldn't deny her feelings any longer nor keep looking for excuses.
For the first time in her life, she was in love. The barriers she'd placed on herself had shattered, but in exchange she was able to smile an honest smile she no longer thought herself capable of.
Lancer Arturia still vowed vengeance to her Merlin for that day, thought it was more out of embarrassment than real anger. In truth she was actually grateful as it helped sort out her feelings. Trust in Merlin to use the most unconventional of means rather than just doing things normally.
The point of the matter though was that Shirou had won her heart. The ramifications and possibilities of this event were just occurring to her now. How could she possibly be comfortable with Morgan taking Shirou away from her?
She looked down at her hands and noticed that they were trembling. She was nervous? No, she recognized this feeling from her childhood when she was still weak, feeble, and hiding behind Sir Ector's legs seeking assurance: She was scared, terrified even. The barriers she'd put in her current timeline were for her own sanity, and since her Shirou had slipped past them, something inside her would surely break if she lost him.
If this were true for Lancer Arturia, she could only image how it must be for her counterparts. The one thing in common between all of them was that they treasured their Shirous dearly. How could they not when everything Shirou ever did was for their sake since their childhood? To the Alters, this one point about Shirou had earned their affection. No matter what, if it was for their sakes, Shirou wouldn't hesitate.
By the time night rolled in to the dimension housing all the Arturia's, the air had grown somber.
None of the Arturias looked eager to sleep tonight and Lily was the worst. She looked terrible. Her shoulders were slumped, and her hair was a mess from wracking her mind for any kind of viable solution, but constantly failing. Bags had formed under her eyes and her desperation for help was all to obvious. Out of all the Arturias, Lily knew that she was the weakest, only slightly stronger than the Arturia of the main story.
The Alters had sat themselves closer together and each were in their own levels of brooding. For once Lancer Alter was far from composed. Behind her frigid expression, a flicker of anxiety was clear in her eyes. She'd always been decisive, and when she realized she loved her Shirou, she instantly moved to keep him by her side. They were engaged, set to be married by the end off the first campaign against the Saxons. Everything, everything, was hinging on this night for her. A life of contentment, or another life of bitter regrets. The same line of thought was true for Saber Alter.
The Alters knew that they weren't upstanding individuals. They had long since crossed the line separating morality and righteousness for the sake of their countries, and the only one that never shied away from them were their Shirous. He was truly one of a kind, the only of his kind that could ever love a tyrant.
Saber Alter clicked her tongue and balled her hands into fist so tightly that she drew blood. She couldn't lose him. Anyone but him. She had to be strong and repel Morgan using whatever method it takes.
Nearby, Saber Arturia paused and nodded curtly to Lancer Arturia. Neither said anything. In fact, none of the older Arturia said anything, as all of them shared the same goal in this instance.
They would stop at nothing to save their Shirous. Their experience was their weapon, their one defining factor that was different from the main Arturia of the story. However, of the Arturias present, there was one who could not hope to rely on such a means.
Lily was looking pleadingly one by one at all the other Arturias for any kind of suggestion or advice, but none including Lancer Arturia could speak out or meet her gaze. It physically hurt to look at her and know that there was nothing that they could do to help. They couldn't fight her battles, but they also knew that she treasured her Shirou just as much as they treasured theirs.
Lily's eyes were glinting in the light, misty and growing turbulent with unsaid emotions. Each Arturia flinched as Lily desperately walked over to them looking like she was on the verge of crying in her despondence.
None could meet Lily's gaze as none could give her a definite answer to defeat Morgan. Even the Alters who were stewing in their brooding became uncomfortable. Lily's vain attempts to seek aid from her elder counterparts was palpable in her growing anxiety.
"Help, anyone p-please..." Lily was reaching her wit's end, her voice sounding more like a whimper that had the other Arturias reeling. She was practically begging by this point. Lily swallowed audibly and finally let the tears drip freely down her cheeks. She'd not been able to think up of any plan, and that meant it was unlikely that she'd be able to avoid her worst-case scenario by doing anything differently. "I-I can't do this, and I don't want to lose him."
Silence. No words of comfort or reassurance would work here, as all knew that they would be lies. Lily sniffled and did her best to maintain a strong front. She looked at them with a weak smile that wasn't quite a smile. It was the most she could do before reaching a breaking point.
By the time that all the other Arturias managed to fall asleep, only Lancer Arturia saw Lily begin sobbing in despair. Something clutched at her heart, imagining herself in Lily's place. No, she would be in Lily's place if she lost her Shirou.
Sorry for not being of any help.
Lancer Arturia inwardly apologized much like the other Arturias before her eyes finally shut and she drifted to sleep.
-(Chaldea Alternative Records)-
Lancer Arturia opened her eyes to the world of her dreams. As she'd expected, she appeared in the time when she'd just been separated from Shirou and was on her own. If she followed the original script, then she was set to meet Fafnir before Shirou would have his confrontation. If anything, now was her time to prepare.
She considered doing everything similar to how she'd seen things go until the encounter with Morgan, but the risk involved in that venture was too high for her to attempt. No matter her skill, the limitations of her younger body were impossible to overcome. She was weaker, her Magic Core less attuned to her command, and to top it all off, Morgan had the element of surprise.
How was she supposed to defeat Morgan in her current state? She'd watched and seen it fail already. What was she supposed to do? Like Lancer Alter, she was the eldest of the Arturias present in the other dimension. Her life's wisdom was the highest, and she had to use that advantage to her benefit.
In the end though, she was coming up with nothing. It was why she couldn't help Lily in the first place. Just thinking about Lily right now caused a pang of guilt to well up inside her.
Lancer Arturia couldn't just allow herself to give up. Rather than proceed ahead through the tunnel she knew she'd meet Fafnir inside; she stayed rooted in place and began to think. If no solution worked to defeat Morgan, then she had to think outside the box. All possibilities should be considered, and it was precisely because of her age and experience that she soon stumbled upon an epiphany.
It was only tragic that she couldn't share this one idea for Lily's use. If only she'd thought of it sooner, but she'd underestimated her own aversion to even consider such an alternative. In her age, her unbending convictions had mellowed at the fall of Camelot. Morgan wanted Kingship?
Then she could have it.
The cogs of Lancer Arturia's mind began to spin, as her body took motion. From what she could recall, Morgan had made her entrance after dealing with Efret.
Lancer Arturia shut her eyes and began to focus on a source of energy that wasn't Shirou's or Fafnir's fighting in the cavern. Efret's energy signature was large and bright like an open flame. As she'd been acquainted with Efret for years, it didn't take her long to pinpoint its location, and the fact that it was clearly agitated.
Lancer Arturia inferred that Efret and Morgan were in the midst of battle. As much as the urge to help Efret surged from within her, she held herself back and waited. The moment Efret's energy dwindled would be the moment Morgan would make her way to the conclusion of the battle between Shirou and Fafnir. This was Lancer Arturia's chance.
No longer hesitating, she made her way to the cavern where Shirou was fighting Fafnir. Upon seeing her, Lancer Arturia could feel the sheer relief in Shirou's eyes. He'd always cared more about her safety than his, and that fact would hurt her all the more if she lost him. He was as devoted to her then she was to him. If he was willing to risk his life for her, then was willing to cast aside her own ideals and ambitions for him.
You mean more to me than anything else…I understand that now.
Love was truly irrational. Raised since birth to save her country, she didn't hesitate to cast it all aside. Calming the beating of her heart, she readied herself for what was to come. Shirou's fight with Fafnir went exactly as she remembered, but it ended faster this time as she didn't intervene.
By this point, Lancer Arturia was tense, her eyes darting back and forth as Shirou stood motionless in front of her and assimilating the Ashton anchor.
She reacted far before she could be restrained by Morgan's magic. She sidestepped and glared as soon as Morgan came within view, Efret dropped by her feet.
Behind her veil, Morgan was clearly frowning. Her cloaked figure was bathed in a light sheen of magical energy. "You always were a natural, aren't you little sister? To think you'd still be on guard moments after victory, but do you really think-"
"SHUT UP!" Lancer Arturia let go of the control she had over her emotions. Morgan prepared herself for battle in response, but failed to process the fact that Lancer Arturia had just thrown her sword away.
The sound of Caliburn clattering over the ground echoed throughout the cavern as the sisters looked eye to eye for the first time in years. It was surreal. The magic Morgan was channeling was temporally cut off in her confusion.
"I don't care anymore. Just take the throne," Lancer Arturia stated bluntly.
"…What?" Morgan looked genuinely bewildered at the statement, her lips pursing. "Do you think this is some kind of joke or that I'd believe any word you say? Moreover, do you think I need you to give me the throne? Right now, I overpower you."
"Yes, you do," Lancer Arturia said bitterly, her shoulders squaring before slumping. There was still the chance that she could defeat Morgan, but when it concerned Shirou, Lancer Arturia found herself unable to take the risk.
"…" Morgan didn't know how to respond, unable to understand what had brought about such change to Lancer Arturia. On one hand she'd get what she'd always wanted, but on the other, there was no satisfaction in making lancer Arturia feel the same anguish she'd endured as the neglected child of the family. As a result, Morgan didn't answer right away like Lancer Arturia hoped.
"Wasn't this what you wanted from the start?" Lancer Arturia pressed. She was growing nervous, beads of sweat forming over her brow as Morgan remained still. "You can have it, b-but leave Shirou alone," she gave out her one demand.
It was here that things clicked for Morgan and she began chuckling. "So, you knew my objective all along? Yes, today I came not for you, but for him. He will be far more than just a mere nuisance if I let him live."
"But there's no need!" Lancer Arturia argued, her hands growing clammy.
"Would you cry if he was gone?"
Eerie silence.
"…Morgan don't you dare go there." Lancer Arturia didn't know it, but her voice had shifted into a snarl to mask the panic she was feeling, but Morgan could see it plain as day.
Morgan's lips curled upwards, before she took a step towards Shirou.
"Morgan." Lancer Arturia's eyes narrowed fiercely. She put herself between Morgan and her Shirou. She was doing her best to keep her emotions under control, but images of Lily weeping kept coming to her mind which soon overlapped with herself. "I gave you what you want! LEAVE HIM ALONE!" Her throat felt hoarse.
"Or what?" Morgan stopped directly in front of Lancer Arturia. She was within range for Lancer Arturia to grapple her, but it was naïve to think that Morgan would leave herself open.
"I'll sign a geis, alright! You can come up with the terms but leave Shirou alone!" Lancer Arturia conceded the most that she possibly could. From what Merlin had told her, a geis was a curse employed by magi that would force a magus to obey the terms of the curse's contract. The only requirement was consent, and right now Lancer Arturia was willingly consenting to it.
Morgan froze as a smile gradually crept up her mouth. "What if I give the condition that you are never to interact with Shirou again?"
Lancer Arturia's breath hitched in her throat, her eyes dilating as denial set in. No. No you can't do that to me!
Morgan watched the flurry of emotion that crossed over Lancer Arturia's eyes and finally obtained her satisfaction. She began to laugh, evidently elated when Lancer Arturia flinched. "Weell now, I find myself in a great mood, and so I won't be that cruel after you've already promised me the throne. Instead, here is my only condition. Should your Shirou ever show signs of opposing my rule, you will kill him with your own hands."
With a snap of her fingers, Morgan produced a film of magic stating her terms and waiting for Lancer Arturia's consent.
Morgan you! Lancer Arturia could clearly see this condition for what it was. A shackle using her own love to never plot against Morgan. If Shirou caught wind of her motives, he'd surely help her and that would be when the curse would force her to kill the man she loved. Yet did she have a choice in this case?
She looked to Morgan, then to Shirou, and then towards the offered magical contract. Morgan would just kill Shirou right now if she refused. At least this way, she could ask Merlin if there was a means to annul the agreement. To seek victory is to know when to step back.
Lancer Arturia raised her hand and consented to Morgan's terms.
"Good. Very good. I had not expected for this encounter to be so fruitful," Morgan gave Lancer Arturia a single fleeting glance before laughing and vacating the premise. "Till next time, little sister."
Lancer Arturia didn't bother with a response. Instead, after taking care of Efret, all of her attention fell onto Shirou as he collapsed on the ground after safely assimilating the Ashton Anchor. He was unconscious, but unlike the outcome of the main Arturia's storyline, her Shirou was safe.
Slowly, gradually, she moved towards him and reached for him with trembling hands. She cradled him to her lap, her hands wiping away the dirt and grime from his face, and not caring about the predicament she'd placed herself in.
King or not, she did not need the title. She could still protect her people as she was, but nothing was more important than the family she wished to start. Nothing was too big of a sacrifice.
From the bottom of my heart,
She leaned down and kissed Shirou softly on the lips.
I love you.
P a treon. com (slash) Parcasious