Damn, I'm In My Own Novel

LV 15

Soul_Cultivation

Not a bad start as of chapter 23 it’s pretty interesting and decently written. The bro-con nature of the MC is a bit cringe at points and needs a better explanation for it to sit well with the reader. He just latched onto Rio out of nowhere with the excuse being he sees his past self in him. But we don’t know what he was like in the past yet and the parts where he mentions things about his past just feel like he's trying to be as edgy as possible. I think the singing aspect is really poorly done. The lyrics used don’t match the situations or world (like how would the princess of the kingdom have any idea about who Cinderella is without it being explained) and not enough context is given to understand and make the connection intended. Also not enough detail is put into the mechanics of his skill or the atmosphere for it to not feel forced. I also don’t like how it seems like the MC is going down the path of everything can be solved through the power of friendship. This novel could be really good if it was polished a bit. Just seems like a wish fulfillment by the author with insider writing geared towards his previous understanding and knowledge instead of telling a story to a reader. Which I can’t fault because that’s explained in the premise of him writing his hypothetical novel that he got transmigrated into. But although that makes for a good backstory it doesn’t sit well when read by others and ends up feeling lackluster at times.

LV 4

Yuki_shiro_5

i love the novel especially the brotherly love ❤❤❤💖💖❤💖❤💖❤💕💖❤💖 LOVE YOU AUTHOR 😘😘😘