Capítulo 23: I WILL ALWAYS FIND YOU
"Power doesn't corrupt people, people corrupt power." William Gaddis
So, here I stand at the edge of a precipice. I'm so dangerously close to falling off that one mere moral push, and I'm sure I would fall into an abyss of despair and shame. I never imagined I could betray someone so close to my heart, but here I am, waiting in the same clearing where I first saw Cal hours ago. I spent hours debating whether or not I should fulfill his request, and I concluded that I would adhere to it. The power. His power. It called me like a moth to a flame, and I would be the most seasoned liar if I said I wasn't attracted to him. Whatever this was, it made me lie and keep secrets from the one I claimed to love.
But, like all liars and deceivers, I tried to rationalize my decision. Going so far as to say, ' I'm not doing anything unsavory.' 'I'm just going to meet him and see what he can teach me.' But I knew in my heart that my actions were not so honorable. I wanted him. I craved him in a way that one does crave a lover. The power was just an opening that pushed my desire further. I struggled with that dilemma the entire walk from my cottage to the clearing, but I still did not turn away. My feet kept moving in that direction, and I could not stop them. He stood in all his beauty as I walked through the clearing entrance. I stopped absentmindedly, looking straight at him and his eyes met mine, and they reflected what I felt. Lust and desire.
A slow devious smile swept its way across his handsome features while his legs started moving in my direction with an outstretched hand. His whole demeanor screamed dangerous, but I did what any good daredevil would do. I placed my hand in his as he led me to the middle of the clearing, brushing my knuckles softly with his fingers.
"Why are you nervous, Phoebe? I do not wish you any harm." He hummed. His statement did little to appease my nervousness; it only cemented in my mind that this was wrong. I was wrong.
"I can't help but feel that I am betraying my mate by being with you. I know you feel the pull between us. It's hard to ignore, but I know I must." I wrapped my arms around my chest as if the cold feeling of guilt would diminish with the warmth from my holding myself.
He pulled my arms apart and gripped the top of my shoulders like you would a misbehaving child. " My dear one, you have nothing to feel guilty of or ashamed of. You were mine before he was yours. You may not have known of my existence, but I have known of yours, and fate will always outweigh destiny. It would be in your best interest to forget him and embrace the power I can offer you. Shall I show you what we can create? " He once again outstretched his hand to me, but this time he delivered both hands, ushering me to take hold of them. And damn, that stupid inner voice told me that it was okay to accept his offer. The moment my hands connected to his, this spark traveled upwards towards my arms, making me feel like my veins were made of pure electricity given to me by Zeus himself.
"Do you feel that, Phoebe?" I shook my head fervently, "What you feel is the life force of everything and everyone around us. We are bonded to it no matter how small, or insignificant something is. The warmth you feel that emanates pressure from your body is the essence of life. Their life. And if we wanted to, we can draw that essence out, creating an energy conduit that can flow into us and sustain us for many years." My mouth opened and closed like a fish sucking in air, "Now, I want you to take a deep breath and focus on the shimmering lights surrounding us." Until this point, I didn't even notice all the luminous lights surrounding me, making different shapes with lines moving from all directions. It almost looked like tiny pieces of dust fastened with light. But what was more unique about this light and dust was that it was all around me and even led to animals in the forest. One of the light threads led to a small rabbit hopping in and out of my peripheral. " I can tell by your expression that you can see and sense the essence of the creatures in the forest. Now focus on that essence and breathe it in. I want you to pull on those lights, draw that energy into yourself, and leave nothing left."
Without thinking, I did exactly what he said and pulled on that light, that force with my mind. And the feeling was pure ecstasy causing me to tilt my head backward with a wayward smile. I could taste life's sweet, irresistible flavor running through my bones. I could feel my body getting energy that I never even knew existed. I brought my head back up and found myself gazing into his eyes; he looked younger now. It was almost like years had been chipped away from his face. And to my utter astonishment, I glanced down at my hands, and they looked....younger....more vibrant. I was not old, but I instantly saw the difference and the feeling of being rejuvenated. The feeling of being untouchable was tangible and fresh in my euphoric mind.
"Yes, sweetheart. Take it all in and bathe in the glorious feeling of becoming an immortal and a Goddess on this earth." His rough and low voice cooed into my ear. "Now, I want you to focus on the fire within you. That power that you're so desperately trying to disguise and ignore. I looked up with a shocked expression, " Yes, I can feel you trying to deny that fire that is burning and trying to get loose inside of you. The knowledge of being different has bothered you, and so has the isolation and the curiosity of why you have a connection to the Moon Goddess."
His eyes bore into mine as he caressed my cheeks.
"All these futile thoughts swarming in your head prevent you from moving forward and accepting your fate. Please gather all those doubts and all those questions and let that fire consume you and release it. Let it course through your veins and move upon this earth."
And he was right. I had many doubts about myself, my life, and my love. I have always known that I was different. Something was clawing to let itself loose inside of me, but I have always ignored it and pushed it back, but I decided to let it free. Expose myself to the world that so desperately kept me locked away. Hidden. And that is precisely what I was. I was hidden from the world since I could remember. My life with Rosa almost seemed comical in a sense. I never knew my birth parents or why I was so damn special. I didn't understand why the Moon Goddess would touch me with her power without so much as an explanation as to what my purpose was.
Or why she would give me a mate that would die from being with me. I just wanted to be free. To be me. To love someone without restraints. And to walk this earth unafraid of what might happen if I was discovered by those that wanted to do me harm. So, I let the fire roll and move all around me. I was scorching the ground beneath me as my feet lifted from this earth, and my back arched as the fire consumed my entire being. It felt magnificent, and I could destroy everything in my path with a touch of my finger.
"Your eyes are glowing silver, Phoebe. I have never seen such beauty in my entire existence. Look around and see what destruction and power we can create and how we can sustain our youth." Once my feet touched the ground, I scanned the area, and my jaw dropped open at the site in front of me. The once vibrant and colorful clearing was now a desolation of smoke and charred grass. The creatures that came out to play at night were scattered dead around the small circle that encased us. I had done this. I had stolen their life force to feed my own and destroyed everything within this clearing. Despair and dismay developed within me like flowers flourishing in the spring. What in the hell is wrong with me? Why did I ever agree to come out with this fucking handsome lunatic? I could hear my scattered breath as it left my body.
"Shh, quite dear one. It's alright. I know this is a lot to take in, but can you imagine what we could do? The world is but a canvas for us to paint our will upon. We can create order in a universe that is filled with chaos. I want you to join me, my precious. Take a hold of what I am offering you."
Okay, this motherfucker is really on some straight bullshit. I am not conquering other people and exerting my will over others. At this point, my future self is colliding with my past self. I can feel Phoebe's despair, astonishment, and disgust. She desperately wanted to get away from Cal.
" Cal, I am not interested in taking over the world as you so eloquently said. I wanted this power, but I was wrong. It's one thing to kill defenseless animals, but murdering innocent humans so we can live forever is another. I would rather grow old and live my life out with my mate than unleash such havoc upon this world." I glowered at him with a look I thought would scare him, but he just laughed at my reaction. He grabbed my throat and lifted me with one arm. My feet dangled under me, and it was increasingly hard to breathe. I struggled to remove his hand, and the movement made him laugh harder.
"Darling, your compliance is not necessary. I will take you by force if I need to, but you are not leaving my side anytime soon. And I must warn you if I need to kill you to ensure no one else possesses your power, then I will." And there was that evil and treacherous demeanor that I sensed beneath that alluring smile, but the immense pull of his power blinded me. What a fool I turned out to be. I betrayed my mate to come to indulge in a sinister plan to rule the world. " I would rather die than participate in your foolish and menacing plan." His arms tightened, and I started feeling light-headed.
Is this it? Is this how I die?
The Goddess did say I would die with or without my mate.
Please forgive me, Elias.
Black spots started dancing behind my eyelids, and my limbs limp, letting me know that I would soon be unconscious or dead. How funny a situation this was. I assumed that the love Elias and I shared would get him or I killed, but my indecision and this horrendous mistake would cause my death and his grief. How could I be so stupid? How could I let my ambition for power cloud my better judgment? Betray the one person given to me by the Moon Goddess herself.
"Such a shame to see that beautiful light dim from your eyes. I suppose I should pray to God to have you reborn and be more agreeable." He snarled, and I could see the veins pop out of his neck. My eyelids dropped a few more inches, and I knew it was almost time. And surprisingly, I wasn't scared, I was only saddened by the fact that I would no longer see Elias. A lone tear escaped the corner of my right eye, and that's when I heard it. A loud growl piercing the air made time stand still for a moment. As weak as they were, my eyes opened slightly to see a giant white wolf running toward me.
"Aww, your foolish mate has decided to come and save you, but there is no saving you from me, Phoebe. I shall see you soon, my stubborn little Goddess." He whispered as he disappeared in a haze of dark smoke. It was much like the same way he disappeared earlier. Before my body could feel the harsh impact of the ground, I landed on a pillow-like substance. I rolled over, coughing as my lungs had a chance to receive air. His nose nuzzled my side, urging me to stand, and I soon got my footing. The tears I tried so desperately to control now flowed freely down my face. I suddenly felt uncomfortable when I heard him start to shift back into human form.
Was he going to leave me?
Did he know of my betrayal?
How can he ever forgive me?
When I saw the outline of a foot instead of a paw, I slowly started moving my head upwards, and when I met his eyes, there was no anger, frustration, or disgust. I only saw love and a look of concern. He opened his arms, and without hesitation, I ran into them, standing there sucking in his scent like it was the last thing I would ever smell on this earth.
"Please calm down, my heart. I am here now. I heard your call for me. I felt your distress and could feel you slipping away from me into the unknown." He rubbed soothing circles into my back, " I will always find you. I will always be here for you, no matter the circumstances. Our love shall survive. You have my heart; nothing or no one will ever change that." I started to feel light-headed, and soon my knees gave out. Swooping me up in his arms, the last thing I recalled was him telling me to 'sleep now.' And those simple words allowed me to close my eyes peacefully, knowing I was safe. I was safe in my mate's arms.
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