Capítulo 50: Splinter
On the morning of September thirtieth, Cassie rolled over in the Potion Master's bed, finding the spot next to hers unexpectantly cold and empty. She sat up, noting that the room was also void of her lover's presence. It didn't take long to find him once she forced herself to unfurl from the familiar earthy scent of his sheets.
He was dressed for the day and tending to the Wolfsbane potion. She was not surprised that he didn't react to her entering the room. He was incredibly focused on stirring the brew, the recipe floating nearby so he could go over it repetitively, although she knew without a doubt that he had memorized it long before the term had started.
"Good morning," she said quietly, not wanting to completely disrupt Severus's obsessive process.
"Good morning, my love." His dark eyes were scanning the text that hovered before him.
"You're tense," Cassie declared, wrapping her lavender robe tighter around her body to combat the chill of the dungeons. She was in a particular mood as she pictured a sultry way the wizard in her sights could warm her.
"I have to make sure this is perfect," he replied. They were words he had told her countless times in the past week. It had become his mantra, his one goal leading up to Lupin's first transformation. And today would be the last goblet-full that the werewolf would be drinking. She knew Severus felt immense responsibility for the entire student body's safety as Lupin's last dose simmered in the cauldron before him.
"It is perfect," she tried to reassure him, placing a hand on his elbow as she stepped closer to his lithe frame. "You've made sure of it, Severus." He stiffened at her touch, and she knew it would be best if she left him alone until he was finished. Only when Severus was satisfied with the bubbling concoction did he finally step away. Cassie, who had been biding her time sitting in his favorite armchair, pounced.
"What has gotten into you, silly girl?" Severus asked lowly as she wrapped her arms around his waist and stood on her tiptoes to plant hot kisses on his neck. He could play coy all he wanted, but she knew the instant his hands buried themselves in her yet-to-be-brushed mane of raven locks that he was at her mercy. After a few moments locked together, she pulled away to answer him.
"You've been working so hard, Sev," she said impishly, pushing him in the direction of the armchair she had just vacated. "I thought you could use a break." Of course, it went without saying, but she needed respite from everything that was going on just as much. On this early morning, the experienced wizard had tact enough not to point that fact out.
Cassie shoved Severus so hard that he stepped backward and landed in the chair, a satisfied rumble leaving his throat as her gaze locked on him. Black eyes smoldered as they drank in the sight of the young woman slowly approach and then let lilac fabric that had been covering her body fall to the ground. She climbed onto his lap, her lips finding the sensitive areas on his neck again, and she shivered as his hands slid from her thighs to her arse. A throaty moan escaped her lips as he squeezed her bare cheeks, a wave of pleasure coursing through her as his fingertips dug into her flesh. He took the opportunity while she was distracted to capture her mouth with his, one hand leaving her backside to grasp a handful of hair at the nape of her neck as he kissed her deeply.
Her excitement was intensified by the fact that the Potions Master was fully clothed while she sat naked atop him. Cassie was used to being vulnerable with the man that was beneath her bare lap, but in their current state, the idea that she was completely exposed while he was clad in his usual black ensemble gave her a sense of delicious frailty she wasn't accustomed to experiencing. In any other situation, that feeling would send her into defensive mode. But with Severus Snape, she felt completely loved and safe. The one place she could give up control and feel at peace while doing so was in his arms.
As his tongue claimed her mouth and their breathing quickened, she palmed his growing bulge over the top of his pants. A deep growl rumbled in his chest as her hands started to make their way under the fabric to stroke him. "Always in such a hurry," his velvety voice drawled in her ear as he captured her wrists in one hand and pulled her hands away. His words sent another euphoric current straight between her legs. She was certain she was leaving a puddle on his trousers by now.
"You're a tease, Sev," she panted. He had released her wrists, and her hands were already on his shoulders as she captured his earlobe in her teeth. She smiled as he inhaled sharply, knowing her ministrations were thwarting his intentions.
"Behave," he warned her as she continued to nibble, her hot breath reaching his skin. Her hands were slowly running down his jacket-clad torso, getting dangerously close to his crotch again.
"Or what?"
"Do you really want to find out, Cassiopeia?"
"Yes," she purred in his ear. It was the response he knew she would give him, and yet the satisfied smirk that played on his thin lips told her that he craved their banter as much as she did. This was an expression reserved only for her and no one else in the universe. That realization alone was nearly enough to make her heart swell to the brim with affection.
"Spread your legs." He nearly whispered the command to her, and yet its ambrosial effect made her breath catch in her throat. She did as she was told, splaying her thighs apart so her knees rested on either side of the Head of Slytherin's legs. She bit her lower lip as she anticipated his next instruction, noticing how his onyx eyes flitted to her mouth. She watched the Adam's apple move in his throat as he swallowed suddenly. "Lean back," he told her now, "put your hands on the armrests."
Cassie complied, and before she could comprehend how much more exposed she felt in this position, he was touching her clit. Having become an expert in creating wave after wave of bliss in her body after all their time together, he knew just how to stroke her to have her shaking atop his lap in minutes. Had she had her wits about her, she would have realized that he was enjoying the view too much at the moment to let her climax just yet.
"Sev, please - " she started to beg.
"In time, my love," he cut her off, his hand leaving the apex between her legs and going to grip her hip. The other went to her breast, pinching the pert nipple as Cassie groaned in a mix of enjoyment and frustration. She was about to dispute her current predicament when long, pale fingers pushed their way inside her. Any words that had been forming died in her throat. She threw her head back in ecstasy as Severus began to move them in and out of her wet core with fervor. This time, he let her finish. She was still quivering and trying to catch her breath even as she fumbled to free him from his pants.
"Will nothing satisfy you, my vixen?" Severus quipped with a raised eyebrow. It was his turn to lean back and enjoy himself once she had his erection in her hands. A satisfied moan rose from his throat as she pumped him from base to tip.
"Will you shut up," she replied teasingly, "and fuck me already?"
She yelped in surprise when he suddenly sat up and gripped her hips so hard that his fingers were sure to leave marks. He pulled her down, impaling her on his length. The two were soon lost in a world of pleasure as he guided her depth and speed as she moved on top of him. The only things they sensed around them were the salty taste of sweat, the musky smell of sex, and the heavy breathing between them. They weren't always in complete sync, but this morning they were both aware of her need to relinquish control to someone else. For the time being, she didn't have to think about why.
Cassie collapsed onto the firm chest under her after they had both reached their peak, leaving soft kisses on the glistening skin that her lips found. His fingers were tangled in her hair again, but this time they brushed through her silken tresses tenderly, his caresses chasing away the bits of reality that were attempting to poke holes in their isolated haven. If it were up to her, she would have stayed in Severus's arms all day. But it was a weekday and the first full moon of the term. Cassie would be teaching Lupin's classes while he rested in anticipation for the night.
After finally putting on her outfit for the day, which included black breeches, knee-high lace-up boots of the same color, and a silver long-sleeved corseted jacket, the couple headed to breakfast. Severus's sense of contentment after their tryst was fleeting, as before they had even reached the Great Hall the telling crease between his eyebrows had deepened significantly. Cassie didn't know how to offer him any more reassurances. Had they still been together in private, she would have caught his hand and given it a hard squeeze, or laced her arm through his. For now, walking by his side would have to do.
McGonagall greeted them as they were sitting down. Severus wasted no time, not bothering to return the Deputy Headmistress's pleasantries. "He's in his office?" he asked sharply.
"Yes, Severus, as we discussed," McGonagall said in a placating tone. There was a knowing twinkle in her eyes as they flitted over to meet Cassie's. She must have sensed that the Head of Slytherin was uneasy about the evening's upcoming activities.
"And you and the Headmaster still intend on being present?" Severus asked. Had there not been an entire hall full of students, he might have added, for the transformation. But it didn't need to be said.
"Yes, Severus, although why you are so unsure of your work is beyond me. Not one of us at this table is doubting that your potion will perform," McGonagall replied, and Severus's lips upturned into a sneer.
"It is not a matter of my insecurity, Minerva. I assure you that the potion is impeccable," he hissed lowly. If Cassie had known better, she would have thought he was irritated at the very idea that he could doubt his own work. The anger he was emitting was due to something else entirely. "However, when it comes to the safety of the student body, I thought we might bother to take the necessary precautions."
"Of course. As you've explained to me several times in the past week, and I've already told you that I agree with you," McGonagall said, seemingly unaffected by her younger colleague's pugnacity. "I wouldn't miss it." As she left the head table, she placed a gentle hand on Cassie's shoulder, something that was starting to become a bit of a routine at mealtimes.
"You witches enjoy provoking me, do you?" Severus muttered darkly. Cassie hadn't realized that McGonagall's small gesture had made her smile until Severus was shooting daggers at her.
"How was I provoking you?" she asked sweetly, taking a sip of her pumpkin juice.
"Your collusion with Minerva."
"I didn't even say anything to her!" Cassie said a bit more loudly than she intended. Sprout's head snapped in their direction, and a playful smirk emerged on the witch's face. Apparently, the entire Hogwarts staff found their infrequent mealtime spats entertaining.
Severus noticed Sprout watching them with a bemused smile, and with an exasperated growl, he pushed his plate away and stood. As he was gliding away from the staff table, the Head of Hufflepuff gave Cassie a wink and said, "In a grumpy mood today, is he?"
It wasn't unusual that Severus's colleagues found his sour moods endearing. It was common for a joke or two to be made at his expense, albeit many times behind his back, when he was being particularly abrasive as the staff ate their meals together. At first, Cassie had interpreted it as signs of friendship. After all, how many people that knew Severus Snape would be willing to make fun of him, and especially while he was angry? But with Lupin's upcoming transformation, she couldn't help but feel they were minimizing his concerns. Perhaps the professors still thought of Lupin as the harmless prefect they remembered him as, part of the Gryffindor foursome that got into mischief but somehow could do no wrong.
But if that were the case, Cassie contemplated as she made her way to the DADA classroom, they were forgetting important details. Lupin wasn't harmless. In fact, he was far from it. He was a werewolf, one that had nearly attacked the colleague whose foul mood they were so quick to dismiss. Had they done that to him after he had almost been mauled as a student? Played it off as a school-boy prank nearly gone wrong?
She pulled her thoughts away from her dark and brooding lover as second-year Hufflepuff and Slytherins filed in. They would be learning about the full body-bind curse, something that would be relatively simple to teach. But being younger students, none of them knew her from when she had been a student herself, and many of them stared at her with wide, curious eyes before she started the lecture.
As the day went on, Cassie got to teach older students who were used to the idea of being in the presence of Lord Voldemort's daughter. It made her feel like less of a spectacle and more like an actual teacher, which she was grateful for. Her last lesson of the day was with Gryffindor and Ravenclaw seventh years. Lupin had written out a short lesson plan for lecturing on several curses used for torture. It wasn't until she was talking about the contractura hex that images of that day in Manaus started to race through her mind.
A Gryffindor boy raised his hand. "Can these spells kill?" he asked when Cassie called on him. A few Ravenclaws around him sniggered. Of course, a hex that would twist up the entire spine like a corkscrew would end up killing someone.
"Yes," Cassie answered.
"Have you seen it?" another student asked.
Cassie had been standing in front of Lupin's desk. Her mouth had gone dry and she was feeling a bit light-headed, so she went around it to take a seat. "Seen what?"
"Any of these spells kill?"
From Lupin's chair, she surveyed the classroom. All eyes were on her now. There was a lump in her throat as she tried to swallow before speaking again. "Yes."
A deafening silence followed for a few moments. She had no doubt that all of them had endless questions running through their minds now, but none of them dared to ask her. Except for one.
"Miss Black?" Danielle Puff, a Ravenclaw witch piped up. "What spell did you use on Sauda Sombria?"
Cassie sighed as she contemplated what to say next. The seventh-year didn't need to specify that she wanted to know how Cassie had killed the dark witch. Thankfully, it was almost the end of the lesson. "One that can't be taught."
"Because it's banned?"
The bell chimed through the corridors, signaling that their time was up. Cassie quickly instructed the students on what homework Lupin wanted them to work on for their next lesson. After a few quiet minutes to herself, she made her way to the dungeons.
She found Severus in his classroom charming his desks clean while cauldrons were floating through the air and neatly stacking themselves. He seemed lost in thought even as she flicked her wrist to make the vials of banshee sputum fly back into their respective cupboards.
"Sev?" she started gently, and his dark eyes snapped to her. "Do you want me to bring Lupin his Wolfsbane?"
"I will be delivering it shortly. The Headmaster and Minerva will be meeting me there soon after," he answered her dully, like he had repeated the plan in his mind over and over.
"Is there anything I can do?"
He studied her for a few moments as if he finally noticed that she had entered his classroom. "You appear to be unsettled."
"My last lesson brought up some bad memories," she said truthfully. Severus walked away from her, and she followed him through his office and into his quarters, where he started to siphon Lupin's dose of the potion.
"Your lesson made you distraught," he stated as he topped the goblet off, cocking an eyebrow at her. She wasn't sure his tone sounded all that empathetic at the moment. "How so?"
"It was on torturous hexes. Ones that I've seen used before."
"Your students cannot see you in such a state," he scolded without missing a beat.
His reaction caught her off guard. "Who said they saw me 'in a state'?" she countered, narrowing her blue eyes at him.
"Cassie, do not attempt to detract from the issue at hand. I have told you innumerable times that you need to learn to control your emotions in front of others - "
"Forget it!" she barked, cutting Severus off. If he had more condescending remarks to throw at her, she didn't give him a chance to finish as she left his quarters, slamming the door shut behind her.
Cassie was busy with patrolling duties that night. Thankfully, the Slytherin prefect she paired with wasn't particularly chatty and she was able to keep her sanity as they walked through the quiet halls. It was a far cry from her last shift that had resulted in almost receiving a dementor's kiss. Tonight, there were no students out of bed. Not even Peeves crossed their paths. It was a welcome change.
She skipped breakfast to sleep, and it wasn't until lunch in the Great Hall that she finally saw Severus. She took her usual seat next to him, but it was the first time in a while that she didn't feel all that keen on being in his presence, as their exchange from the night before still stung. He was chatting with McGonagall as she started to load her plate with fruit, and she took the opportunity to glance at Lupin. He was staring blankly in front of him as he shoveled ham into his mouth, looking understandably disheveled.
Severus turned his attention back to his plate, seeming to notice that his significant other had joined him at the table. "Cassie," he greeted her tentatively.
Cassie pushed a strawberry around with her fork. Her appetite was currently nonexistent. "How did last night go?" she asked him quietly.
"The potion was successful."
"I knew it would be," she said sincerely. When she turned to look at him, her heart caught in her throat, as although he didn't smile at her, his dark eyes were full of appreciation.
With the issue of the Wolfsbane's effectiveness behind them, the couple's attention could finally be turned toward the dementors, not that Cassie was thrilled to start dealing with them. That Friday night, after a full day of lessons and grading, she and Severus made their way out to the grounds. Cassie didn't realize that Severus was having to lead her by her clammy hand until he turned back to look at her in annoyance.
"Am I not walking quickly enough for you?" she asked haughtily as she caught his gaze.
"You are almost literally dragging your feet," he replied through gritted teeth. Something in the Forbidden Forest yipped in the distance, and Fang, who must have heard the creature from his bed in Hagrid's hut, barked in return.
"So sorry I'm not excited to spend time with the dementors!"
"I should not have to remind you," said Severus impatiently, yanking her to his side and throwing a reassuring arm around her waist as he slowed his pace, "that no one enjoys the experience!"
"I know," she said, his words making her feel quite self-centered, which was most likely his intention. "I'm sorry. Thank you for doing this with me."
"As though I would let you do this on your own," he grumbled under his breath. Even with exasperation rolling off him in waves, he pulled her closer to him as they walked. She wished they were on their way to a casual date night instead of seeking out the dark creatures that made her lose her mind.
They neared the edge of the forest, and Cassie shivered from the magically produced cold that was already starting to seep down to her bones. The closer they were to their goal, the more she tried to imagine they were just making their way to Hogsmeade, maybe to the Three Broomsticks for a mug of warm, rich butterbeer. It wasn't working.
Severus stopped walking, and Cassie looked to him for direction. Their breaths were visible in the night air. "The Headmaster made sure there would only be one stationed here tonight."
"Great," she squeaked.
He looked down at her in concern. "We aren't even there yet. You need to mentally prepare yourself, Cassie. If one were to attack you now while alone, or with a student - "
"I know, I know," she breathed, closing her eyes. She was trying to focus, to clear her mind like she did when she was learning Occlumency. So far, all she could remember was how she felt the last time she was out here with Lupin, how helpless she had been, how hopeless she had felt. The icy puffs of air in front of her face started to come out much more rapidly as she started to panic.
"Cassie, let's keep moving," Severus said. She swallowed hard, her legs somehow complying as he led her closer to the dark creature.
It swooped down on them. She froze. Sombria's face was swimming through her mind, a smug look on her marked face. "I come here, you come." Cassie realized all over again that the dark witch had attacked Academia de Luta hoping to bait Cassie into showing up.
"Cassie!" Severus was bellowing, "Patronus!"
"My fault," Cassie whispered. Her wand was in her hand, but it was pointing at nothing in particular, and her eyes were unfocused as she relived seeing the forest she had trained in burning around her. Severus's doe chased the dementor away, and he made her drink a mug full of conjured hot cocoa before making the journey back to the castle.
Cassie's quarters being closer to the entrance hall, Severus got her settled there before trying to make sense of anything. She was tucked under the lilac covers, the fireplace warming the room as he started to pace.
"Something is wrong with you," he began.
"Thanks," she quipped without hesitation, earning her an ominous glance from her lover.
"Your emotions are getting the best of you," he then stated, and their quarrel from the other night surfaced to her mind.
"It's a flaw because I have them?" she asked haughtily.
"Don't be absurd, Cassie. I've told you before that learning to suppress your emotions outside of Occlumency would be highly beneficial for a multitude of reasons. This situation is a perfect illustration of why discipline is needed."
"'This situation!'" she cried. "This is more than just than me being too sensitive, or whatever you think it is, Severus!" She flung the covers off her legs, intending to stand, but Severus threw them back over her, a disapproving look on his face. "I'm more than capable of taking on a stupid dementor!"
"You're right. You are. So why are you crumbling to pieces at even the thought of facing one?"
His wording wasn't helping her state of mind. "If I knew, we wouldn't be in this predicament, would we?"
"You haven't dealt with your feelings regarding Alex's death," he said bluntly. "Once you do that, you will be able to produce a Patronus when a dementor is drawing forth all those memories."
"Oh, sure thing," she snapped, her arms folded over her chest. "I'll have that done by four tomorrow afternoon."
He had bent down over her, his face suddenly very close to hers, and she knew before he spoke that he wasn't thrilled. "I'm trying to help, you impudent girl," he uttered dangerously.
"I would be a bit friendlier," she hissed back, "If you would stop telling me to be a detached asshole like you."
Severus walked out without another word, going to spend the night in his quarters without her.
After breakfast the next morning, they begrudgingly agreed that they would face another dementor together that night. Cassie stayed in her quarters alone for the majority of the day trying to meditate on her grief regarding Alex, as Severus had suggested. After a long, agonizing day, he showed up in her classroom. This time, the pair made their way to the main gates. It was much of the same, this time Cassie being stranded in the memory of standing over Sombria's freshly deceased corpse. While Severus dealt with the two dementors that descended on them, she tried to escape her mind, trying to claw out of her subconscious. He got her back to her quarters, but this time there was no argument. He crawled into the bed beside her, pulled her into his arms, and listened to her steady breathing once she had fallen asleep.
A week passed before they tried again. Severus thought that Cassie had been exposed too many times in a short amount of time. He had hoped that the break would allow her rejuvenation and let her come to full strength, but it was almost like it was getting worse. Every time that he had to help her exhausted frame back up to the castle, she felt more and more incompetent. She didn't like feeling vulnerable. It wasn't a feeling she was used to.
"We have to try something else," Severus said, placing another graded essay on top of the growing pile in front of him. He was allowing Cassie to help him, as these were only third-year assignments. Anything over fourth he usually insisted that he do himself, or recheck Cassie's work.
"I know," Cassie replied quietly. She had just finished Draco's essay and drew an over-exaggerated smiley face on it, knowing it would probably just annoy him.
"Dumbledore will allow you to use his Pensieve. I think it would be a logical next step."
"Okay," she agreed dully. She wanted to tell him that the last thing she wanted to do was relive everything yet again, but she had little choice. She was existing in such an exposed state, knowing that any time she stepped out of the castle she was risking her life. Or her soul.
"I have to patrol tonight. If you would like, we can do it together on a different night - "
"I can do it alone."
"You're certain?" he asked, the concern obvious in his voice as he studied her face.
She managed to smile at him wearily. "I'm not completely helpless, Sev."
It was late when she made her way to Dumbledore's office. She passed Filch and Mrs. Norris, and a few paintings were chatting with each other as she walked. The castle felt so peaceful, at that moment it was hard to imagine there were dark creatures guarding it outside, hoping to catch a mad man that had managed to slip past them and out of Azkaban once.
"Good evening, Cassiopeia," Dumbledore greeted her warmly after she waited for his signal to enter. He was in a teal sleeping rope and cap, seated behind his desk. Fawkes was snoozing on his perch, making sweet little moans as he breathed. The atmosphere alone was enough to make Cassie feel a bit more relaxed.
"Hello, Albus," she said, admiring one of the many golden trinkets on the shelves as she passed. Every time she came to the Headmaster's office, she swore the wizard had at least one new one.
"You are here to use the Pensieve?"
She sighed. "Yes, I am."
"You don't sound very enthused about the prospect of doing so," he mused lightly, adding three sugar cubes into a cup of tea and stirring. With a wave of his hand, another cup appeared in front of him, and he gestured for her to sit.
"I'm not." She sat, glancing down into the steaming cup and wrapping her hands around it. The warmth was calming to her.
"It was Severus's idea, was it not?"
"Yes. And it's not that I have a better idea, it's just..." she trailed off, taking a sip.
"You don't feel like watching the events from a different perspective."
"Yes." She felt a bit like she was on display, as the Headmaster was watching her over his half-moon spectacles. After a minute or so, she just couldn't take it anymore. "What is it?"
"You are giving off a rather inquisitive aura tonight," he said thoughtfully.
"Am I?"
"What is on your mind, Cassiopeia?" Dumbledore pressed lightly.
She set the cup of tea down, finding that her hands were starting to shake. Now that she was sitting across from him, now that he was encouraging her to ask him questions, she found that she couldn't avoid the issue any longer. Even if she had been avoiding the answer for so long.
Cassie took a deep, trembling breath, blue eyes meeting blue. Of all the questions she needed Dumbledore to be truthful in answering, this one was the most important. She needed to know if he was lying, and she hoped maintaining eye contact would tell her if he was sincere.
"Albus," she started slowly, "when I killed Sombria...did it rip my soul in two?"
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