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43.24% Am I Deadpool??? / Chapter 14: Cotton Eyed Joe: Reunions.

Capítulo 14: Cotton Eyed Joe: Reunions.

As the truck rumbled along the snow-dusted road, Wade leaned back, soaking in the moment. The wind whipped through his hair as he joked with Ken and Laura, trying to lighten the mood. They'd had enough of life-or-death situations for while.

Wade leaned back, feigning relaxation but his mind still raced with suspicion toward Joe, courtesy to that one comments someone made. Something about Joe had been setting off alarms in his head. The driver's glances toward them weren't just curious—they were unsettling, predatory. Wade's senses were screaming at him to stay on high alert.

 'Really author? Stealing ideas from the comments now? I knew you actually wanted him to became Santa Claus, but nooo, you stirring from that wholesome plot to this fucking plot?'

(He wanted a little action, beside who said that Santa is not a pedo or atleast a sexual offender? He came sneaking into a kids house at night to gave gift, steal their cookies, and sometimes fuck their moms!)

Don't ruins Santa for me, please…

'Thank god our family haven't had a Christmas together, yet!'

Joe kept his eyes on the road, but his hand occasionally strayed too close to Ken, who was seated right beside him. The older man's voice had shifted, growing lower, more insidious. "You kids sure are lucky I came along when I did. It's cold out here. Dangerous too. Wouldn't want anything bad to happen to you..." He let the last word hang in the air, his eyes flicking over to Ken with a look that made Wade's blood boil.

Ken shrank back, his discomfort obvious as he edged closer to Laura. Wade noticed the subtle shift in Joe's demeanor—his glances becoming more lingering, his tone more suggestive. It was clear now what Joe's intentions were, and they were far from innocent.

'That's it! I can't take it anymore, I'll kill him!' Wade's hand twitched, reached for his katanas as Joe's actions are becoming more and more brave.

"Oi! What the hell do you think you're doing? Hands to yourself, Old Man!" Wade shouted, anger boiling over as he leaped into action with his katana. In a flash, Wade's instincts kicked in.

Before Joe could react, Wade thrust of the katana's edge towards Joe's eye, not deep enough to kill but enough to blind him in a burst of pain. Joe screamed, clutching his face as the truck swerved wildly. Wade the launched himself into the cab to grapple with Joe.

The truck careened dangerously close to the edge of the road. With a frantic grab, Wade yanked the wheel, steering them away from disaster, adrenaline coursing through him.

"Shit! Shit! Shit!" Wade cursed, scrambling over to reach the steering wheel. Ken and Laura huddled against the door, their eyes wide and shocked seeing their brother just launched himself to Joe.

Joe, who now more beast than man, lunged at Wade with a roar, his fury and pain making him reckless. Wade met him with a fierce grin. "You fucked up Pedo Santa! You have met the wrong guy!"

The two struggled in the cramped cab, fists flying as Wade tried to slash Joe's with his other katana while still trying to maintain control of the vehicle. Joe's strength was formidable, but Wade's agility and rage fueled him. He jabbed an elbow into Joe's ribs, momentarily stunning him.

As Joe tried to regain control, Wade drove the other katana through his chest, pinning him against the seat. Joe's eyes bulged as he gasped for air, blood bubbling at his lips. Wade leaned in close, his voice cold and unforgiving.

"You were a dead man the moment you laid eyes on them," Wade hissed. "Now burn in hell. Never rest in peace, you fucking pedo!"

With a final, brutal twist of the blade, Joe's body went limp, his lifeless eyes staring blankly ahead. Wade yanked the katanas free, kicking Joe's corpse out of the window as he clambered into the driver's seat.

Wade exhaled sharply, his heart pounding as he reached for the steering wheel. "Hold on, guys!" he called out to Ken and Laura, who were clinging to each other in their seat, their eyes wide with shock.

With a sigh, Wade guided the truck back onto the road. Both of his siblings still shocked after the quick fight Wade did with Joe.

Wade's heart pounded in his chest as he regained control, his knuckles white on the steering wheel. They were safe—for now.

"Sorry 'bout that guys, you alright?" Wade asked his siblings. 

"We're okay," Ken said as he looked at Wade with wide eyes. Laura reached out and squeezed his arm, her touch grounding him in the moment. Wade's rage began to subside. Wade glanced back at his siblings, relief and protectiveness filling his eyes.

 -

They somehow, err actually finally found their way to a quiet road near Alberta border by themselves. As the tires of the truck crunching softly against the icy pavement, Wade let out a breath of relief, finally feeling like they were close to safety. Now, they just need to find that damn rest area where they stole the camper before. Ken and Laura now were fast asleep beside him, their small forms bundled up in blankets to fight off the chill. Wade smiled slightly, careful not to wake them as he pulled the truck to a gentle stop on the side of the road so that he could read the map.

But as he tried to open the map, something caught his attention. The wind carried distant sounds—metal clashing, the low growl of a wild animal, and a voice he recognized, one that made his heart skip a beat. Squinting through the falling snow, Wade activated his enhanced senses, trying to make sense of the scene unfolding far ahead of him.

What he saw made his blood run cold. In the dim light and snowy weather, he could make out three figures locked in a brutal battle: Wolverine, Rogue, and Sabertooth. Wolverine's claws slashed through the air with deadly precision, while Rogue flew overhead, trying to keep Sabertooth off balance. But Sabertooth was relentless, his strength and brutality slowly overwhelming them.

"Oh, fuck!" Wade cursed under his breath, his heart pounding. He could see the weariness in his parent's movements against his supposed uncle. His mind raced with fear and uncertainty. "This scene looks kinda like the first X-Men movies. Is that mean this fanfic gonna have X-Man storyline? Is Mom gonna die? What the hell author! I didn't even officially meet them yet! And here I thought I'd least get a decent family reunion."

(Well, the author did love torturing you, but isn't this kinda like everyone family reunion? There is that one uncle with extreme views that love to cause a fight!)

I don't think any family fight with the intent to kill at the family reunion, Bracket.

Determined not to let things end here, Wade hop out from the truck and started running toward the fight, adrenaline surging through him. He had to help them—he couldn't let them get separated again, not like this, not when he was so close.

But just as he was about to close the distance, something unexpected happened. A jet roared overhead, and before he could react, the X-Men appeared. Cyclops unleashed a powerful optic blast, staggering Sabertooth, while Storm summoned a gust of wind that sent him crashing into the hard asphalts. Wade's heart leaped with hope as he watched Logan and Marie get rescued, but his excitement was quickly doused when the Blackbird ascended, the X-Men already ushered his parents inside so quickly that they didn't seem to notice him running at them.

Well, you did stood still for a while and kinda faraway from them. Not to mention your parent is incapacitated, there is no way they'll notice you.

"No! Wait!" Wade shouted, but his voice was drowned out by the roar of the jet engines.

(On the bright side, we knew where our parents are!)

Before he could reach them, the Blackbird took off, disappearing into the night sky. Wade skidded to a stop, breathless and frustrated, his parents whisked away before he had a chance to even say a word.

Wade knee fall to the ground, defeated. His eyes looked full of hatred as he looks at the sky.

"OH FUCK, FUCK, FUCK!!! NOOOOO!!!! FOR FUCK SAKES WHY THERE ISN'T ANYTHING GOOD HAPPENED ON MY LIFE LATELY!!! FUCK YOU AUTHOOOOORR!!! MAY YOUR PILLOW NEVER HAVE ANY COLD SIDE!!!" Wade cursing his own creator because of his now fucked up current predicament.

I don't think that'll work, unless you somehow find a way to recreate what Deadpool from Deadpool killed the Marvel Universe did.

"One day, one day I will…" Wade muttered to himself.

(Scaaarrryyy…)

Left behind in the snow, Wade's eyes darted back to the battlefield. Sabertooth lay in the hard asphalt road, seemingly lifeless, his massive body just lay there with the falling snow started to covering him up. Despite everything, Wade couldn't help but feel the absurdity of the situation.

"Ah, what the hell, might as well make some fun memories anyway with my supposed uncle anyway, I still have some huge grudge over him anyway," Wade muttered to himself, deciding to make the most of the moment. He approached Sabertooth's massive form and dropped to his knees beside him, a mischievous grin spreading across his face. With mock despair, he threw his arms around Sabertooth's shoulder.

"No, no, no! Uncle Vic! Nooo!" Wade cried out dramatically, his voice dripping with fake anguish. "Don't you die on me! I'm still young! Only ten! Or twelve! You're supposed to do this when I'm fifteen!"

He shook Sabertooth slightly, hoping for some reaction, but the brute remained motionless. Wade couldn't resist playing up the theatrics, fake tears streaming down his face as he slapped Sabretooth's cheek, hard.

"Come on, wake up motherfucker! Say some shit about your irresponsibility wisdom to me, you fucker!" he added, his tone a mix of mockery and feigned desperation as he continued to bitch slapped his uncle.

When Sabretooth showed no signs of waking, Wade's grin widened. It seems he still in a coma, well, while a part of him wanted to fight Sabertooth, he still was a twelve-year-old growing boy after all.

He made his way back to the truck, rummaging through the bed until he found a heavy metal chain that Joe somehow had, what a suspicious motherfucker, glad he's dead now. With little effort, he dragged it back over to Sabretooth, securing the chain tightly around the unconscious mutant.

(Pffft… this gonna be good! Ahahaha!)

Oh no… I think this is a bad idea, we don't know if we could win over a fight with him yet! What if he wakes up!

Reaching into his pocket, he pulled out a pen, twirling it between his fingers with a flourish.

(Draw a dick pic! No! Many dicks pic! All over his face! Muahahahaha!)

He leaned over Sabertooth and began to draw on his face, starting with crude sketches of dicks. He took his time, adding details and even doodling in Sabretooth's beard.

Wade chuckled to himself, admiring his handiwork. "That's for kidnapping and probably sending me your pet polar bear, you dickheads! HAHAHHAHA!" Wade started to laugh maniacally to himself.

With Sabretooth securely tied up and properly decorated, Wade stood back, feeling oddly satisfied. He rested his head and shoulder at Sabertooth body as he glanced around the snow-covered scene, a wry smile on his lips.

"Well, as much as I wanted to saw your pretty face when you wake up, gorgeous, I have a more important matter to attend! I hope your Brotherhood teammate notice you missing, I still have some grudge to resolve with you afterall, beloved uncle! Not to mention I wanted to see you fight with my dad again! Those will be legendary!" Wade said. He stood up, glancing at his uncle body as he walk away from Sabertooth to Joe's truck.

He went to the truck and start the engine, before going and run over the body of Sabertooth back and forth for a few times. "Sorry Uncle Vic! But thats for my parents! Ciao!" Wade saluted without looking back at Sabertooth body from the truck. He glanced at his siblings, still oblivious to the event that happened today.

"X-Mansion, it is then! Let's Fucking Go!"


REFLEXIONES DE LOS CREADORES
Vha_Ann Vha_Ann

Whooo! The Suspense! The Drama! The Comedy! And possibly my life on the row!!! When will Wade and his siblings gonna reunited with their parents! Is my roomate cat's somehow conspired with him to kill me? find out more in the next episode of NCIS: New Orleans!

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