Capítulo 1: Car "Accident"
Short little intro chapter hope yall fuck with it a lil bit.
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A huge boulder was flying towards me. Time seemed to slow down as it approached my car, A red Toyota Corolla. The boulder was in no way bigger than my car, the problem, was that there is no way it was moving slower than 20 mph, while my car was currently approaching 60. Now, how did I get into this situation you ask? Well shit, let me explain real quick.
Picture this a young-man, (No older than 19) decided he wanted to grab some taco bell on his way home from work(I was a Lifeguard, not like it matters at the moment though right?), usually he would never eat out, preferring to cook(I would crack open cans of Campbell soup, or eat white bread) however he was feeling fancy, so he parked his car and went inside of the restaurant. Why do this when there are drive-thrus? He had not yet reached his limit on social interaction that day(Talking to strangers is mentally draining). As he walked to the register to order his food, he decided he wanted a soft taco and a small Mt. dew Baja blast(It was the best soda I've ever had). Now this all sounds pretty unimportant right? However, the next part is where things really pickup a notch.
The young-man decided to eat inside of the restaurant, wanting unlimited refills on his Baja blast. Not realizing how much time had passed( I was busy watching Instagram Reels on my phone.) The young man looked at a clock on the wall(My phone) and saw that it was already 8:40pm. It had been 3 ish hours since he had gotten off work, and he decided to go home. Now, due to a series of "Coincidences" The young-man had not checked the weather app that day, nor did any of the workers at taco bell, leaving them unknowing of the approaching hurricane, of course, if he had known he would have used it as an excuse to not show up for work(No! I would never do such a thing!....Nah I would). Now, the first 5 minutes of the young-mans drive home hardly anything notable happened, he merged onto the freeway, exited off, saw a waffle house open for business, the usual drive home, after he got onto the road that would take him back to the house, the wind and rain picked up to an horrific extent, the young-man panicked and he sped up trying to get home as fast as possible, which led to his or rather my current situation.
I know, how the hell did you not know a hurricane was coming through? Well in response to that I say, nothing. I have no rebuttal or smartass remark, as I truly believe there is no fucking way I didn't see a hurricane forecast, news article, youtube video, shit even a godammned carrier pigeon. I had heard nothing, which leads me to one conclusion, someone was trying to fuck me over, some grand cosmic being had an hate boner for me, and was like "HMMM..... how can I fuck with this guy's life even more???" and then he decided "OH! I know why not send a fucking hurricane to kill his dumbass!" Seriously though what the fuck man? I had just finished highschool, was applying for college(Wanted to be a lawyer) and somehow ended up in this situation. If there is a god out there, he must really love fucking me over. And would you look at that! the boulder has made contact with my windshield! Will my windshield hold up? NO of course not, its made of glass, shattered into millions of pieces on impact. Just like I was going to do when that boulder reached me.
Right now would be a great time for some self reflection, I was 18 years old, semi-handsome, 5'12, 190 lbs. and decently muscular. I don't know about you guys, but I'd say that should have been enough to get me some puss....was my last thought before the boulder slammed into me, ending my life instantly.
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