/ Anime & Comics / A Surgeon in Danmachi
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The story is about a guy who died and reincarnated in the world of Danmachi.
All characters belong to their copyright holders.
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16Reseñas
4.59
- Calidad de escritura
- Estabilidad de las actualizaciones
- Desarrollo de la Historia
- Diseño de Personajes
- Antecedentes del mundo
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Seeing as you're just new, I can only give you some advices on your story. writing quality: problems:-confusion between names, lo and law, naginata and the other weapons' names, bete and beta solution: use grammarly and at least reread closely what you wrote before posting it character design: problems: mc is one of the worst kinds, he is a pervert on one side and on the other he is some xianxia mc that only uses violence to prove his superiority solution: rewrite the story and change the mc story development: problems: too fast paced, no immersion solution: try to add details to each scene, make the people more realistic (like freya who only thinks 'entertaining') and don't add fucking freya on the very beginning of the story and your dialogue format, ffs use " " for talking and ' ' for thinking, not for talking and ( ) for thinking, e.g, dont say: law: nex time control your dog but "next time control your dog" replied law in an agressive manner before exiting the inn and walking towards the dungeon, under the frozen gazes of the inn people
Writing quality is a 2 star as it could be waaay better then it is right now. If the Authur only proof read and Fixed his spelling when it came to the names of the charachters. I find it hard to believe that you could get charachters names wrong so many times unless you dident read through it. Update stability is 3 stars. Can't go any higher as its only got 4 chapters. For character desigh its 4 stars as law in the Danmanchi universe is unique. Plus with his powers he's Op. World background is again, a 4 stars. Its Danmanchi, which has a lot of potential and things it could explore. Plus other characters from other animes. Thats all I have to say about this novel. Tiger out 🐯
Did you stop writing?______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
Love the story so far and the beginning tone of the story is great and I can’t wait for more chapters to be posted.——————————————————————on a different note is this gonna involve a sole love or a harem
Like the story wish more chp comes Æitægoæfækføifæifæifåifåoføudp7d8åpudpuziæzpidåe87ådp7dpudpupdpuudådpuzzæiuzpiddiiåddåidåiåidpud7ddåiåizpidzåipudpudzpudpupuddp6dpudpud
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ok the story is back but what is going on? 24 hours before what? ...........................................................................
I want more and thats all Mdjduccin3gsudiognrveus9djnfbdjaoakwnbrvdehebebevydifkfnr cegsjhdbdgjeme veysoebevevduxn v do tego czasu na nic się w dniu jutrzejszym dzisiejszym wczorajszym wczorajszym od 62-586 i 62-5 na stronie to
lmao? wtf happened? You were just asking lover potential of law earlier and now it's gone...... ahahahhahahahhahahhahahahhahahahhahahzhjdkiznqosmdk
The spelling and grammar need some work, but than that it’s amazing. Also Law is the best character, so yeah. ................................................................. ................................................................. ................................................................. .................................................................
5 Stars because Law is my favorite One Piece character. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
wtfffff?????? why you drop???????i was just reading the first chapter. .....................................................................