Capítulo 1: It Began With the Fall of the Sun
The One-Eyed Ghoul. Eyepatch. The Centipede. Kaneki Ken.
His mind was a snowy blur during and after the attack on the 20th Ward by the CCG Organization. Feeling incredibly numb, both mentally and physically, by the death of his best and long-time friend, Kaneki had intended to turn himself in. Either that or fight until his own demise fell upon him. The latter option was preferable and the most inevitable one. What match was he to Kishou Arima, after all?
The night's wind had settled, as did the snowfall from earlier, leaving behind a thick blanket of white over every possible surface. Kaneki made brief eye contact with the similarly white-haired man several feet before him. His grip tightened around the limp body of Hide, unconsciously wanting to protect him. Kaneki knelt down, his eyes only leaving Arima's as he gently laid Hide's body on the soft snow at his feet. He crossed Hide's arms over his upsettingly still chest, fingers brushing lightly over his cheek.
If this was where he should perish, finally, Kaneki wanted Hide's face to be the last thing on his mind when he met his eternal darkness. Hide had been his light, his sunshine; he'd been with him since the beginning. Even when Kaneki disappeared to get stronger and protect his friends, Hide never gave up on him. The blonde had even joined the CCG to find him, trying to protect Kaneki in his own way.
Hide had known since Nishiki's attack on them; that event seemed so long ago now. Thinking back on it, it had been obvious. Despite Hide's outgoing and eccentric personality, he was nowhere near dumb. Kaneki's attempts to keep his secret, at keeping Hide safe, had been for nothing.
'It hardly matters now anyways,' Kaneki thought as he rose back to his feet. He would be joining Hide soon enough. Touka, Hinami, and the others were safe for now, at least, and they could surely handle their own without him. They had before he came into their lives. They would be alright.
Kaneki stepped around Hide's body, putting a few feet between them. He vaguely heard the footsteps behind him as some CCG soldiers watching from the sidelines came forward and took Hide's body away. He didn't look back to watch.
Gray eyes met matching ones hidden almost completely behind glinting wire-framed glasses. The man before him wore no armor like the men he commanded, simply dressed in a pure white coat over what Kaneki assumed was a suit and tie. Kishou Arima regarded Kaneki with hardly any expression, his unique weapon held in its disguised case in a relaxed grip in his hand. This whole ordeal was probably like any other workday for him; he had no worries about his own life as he took the lives of the ghouls they targeted.
Kaneki doubted the man even really had to worry; if he did, it would be disregarded as a foolish thought. Kishou Arima, he was the White Reaper. He didn't gain his reputation for lethal battle tactics and strength from nothing. Under any other circumstances, Kaneki would be wary, avoiding this man at all costs. Kaneki was strong, but he knew his limits. And this was it, anyway. What better way to go than here and now when he had someone who could kill him to his use?
His heartbeat was steady, no longer racing with adrenaline. He had been calm since moving Hide from the burning Anteiku. Even when walking the streets lined with soldiers to this point, he'd felt that unusual calm. Not being on edge for the first time in a long while was like a tired acceptance of what was to come. Kaneki only hoped that Arima would make it quick.
He saw the tiniest twitch of Arima's fingers, and the briefcase opened, releasing his qunique. Long and sharp and made up of shiny black steel with gold outlines. Kaneki briefly wondered what ghoul Arima got his weapon from. Arima raised his weapon above his head, and Kaneki couldn't stop himself from tensing up. His instincts screamed at him to run, to block, or at least prepare to escape the attack. He kept his hands at his side, forcing his body still.
His eyes barely register the speed at which Arima was coming towards him. He shut his eyes, a small, unconscious smile twitching onto his face. A soft thud hit his ears, and then a click of metal followed by a whooshing of air. He was hit with something heavy in force, but there was no pain like he'd been expecting, aside from previously obtained wounds that were healing much too slowly. The pain was dull, though, considering Kaneki had experienced much greater injuries than that. And he'd paid them no mind; why would he? That wouldn't matter. They shouldn't have mattered. But it looked like they were being forced to.
Kaneki opened his eyes as his feet were lifted from the ground. All there was to see was a thick blanket of black smoke, so dark he couldn't even see his own hands that he raised in front of his face. He was being carried, determined by the swaying motion that his body moved through. Whoever had grabbed him held him in one arm, pressed against their side. The smoke went on for a while, the entire street, it seemed, and Kaneki wondered how the person carrying him could even see where they were going.
Yells filled the air, ringing through the night. Kaneki shut his eyes again, listening to the chaos exploding around him. It grew more distant as time passed, and the person carrying him didn't appear to be slowing down anytime soon. All he could comprehend at that moment was his own breathing and his body moving along. Opening his eyes again, his vision was clear this time; Kaneki was staring down at an alleyway floor before it moved onto the concrete sidewalk.
Kaneki turned his head into the gray material shirt the person was wearing, eyes traveling upwards until it landed on a familiar white mask. Four holes with a pointed nose, black hair fanning around it in contrast.
"Uta…" His voice was cracked and rough sounding. The tatted mask maker looked down at him and stopped on a dark, empty street.
"Can you walk?" Uta asked. His voice was deeper sounding and slightly muffled due to the mask. Kaneki was silent for a moment before nodding. Uta, with surprising gentleness, placed Kaneki on his feet. He continued to hover closely at his shoulder, just in case.
Pressing a hand against the wound on his side, Kaneki asked, "Is everyone safe? What were the casualties?"
"All of the Apes and Black Dobers are dead. Irimi, Koma, and Yoshimura were all wounded, and I'm not sure they survived. And you would have been had I not gotten to you when I did." Kaneki could feel Uta's pointed look even through the mask, making him cringe.
"You wanted to keep us safe," Uta continued. "To prevent more death. That's why you left, right? Did you really think we don't feel the same things about you?"
Kaneki swallowed thickly, looking down. "You all were fine before me, if not better. You'd be better off without my presence making things worse."
Uta sighed audibly.
"Are the others safe?" Kaneki asked again.
"They're back at the studio. That's where I was taking you. You're number one on the CCG's capture list now, especially with them knowing your face."
Kaneki nodded, following Uta through roundabout streets and alleys, avoiding populated areas and soldiers patrolling the far-off regions. Uta deadbolted the door to his shop as soon as they entered, turning out all the lights in the main room before leading Kaneki into the back.
"Kaneki!" Immediately as Kaneki walked into one of the rooms, a lounge from the looks of it, his armed were filled with Hinami, thin arms wrapping tightly around his waist. He hugged her back, glancing over her head to assess the rest of the room. There were Tsukiyama and Nishiki, as well as Touka and Yomo.
"Are you all okay?" He asked them.
"Everyone is fine for the most part; no one was injured. Uta went to get you when you didn't show up with us."
Kaneki side-eyed the tatted ghoul beside him. "Stop putting yourself in danger for my sake, Uta."
Touka folded her arms over her chest. "It was either him or me."
"It shouldn't have been either of you. Or anyone for that matter."
Touka huffed in exasperation while Hinami tightened her hold on his words. Kaneki grunted, and he blinked as a plate came into his vision. He sighed, giving Nishiki a quiet 'thank you.' Hinami took a step back to allow Kaneki to quickly wolf down the plate's contents without giving it much thought. Kaneki didn't think he would ever get used to satisfying his ghoul appetite, even when necessary.
Wiping his mouth of any blood, Kaneki went and sat on one of the couches, placing the empty plate on the coffee table. Hinami took her place at his side.
"So, what now?" He asked. What was there for them to do now? Anteiku was burned to the ground; their leader was gone, and no one was sure whether he was dead or alive. They'd lost so many allies and friends. No one gave an immediate response. How could they? Everything had happened so fast, with more casualties than they had planned for.
No one gave an immediate response, not that Kaneki expected one. "It would be best to stay underground and lay low," Yomo said. "At least until CCG activities calm down. In the meantime, we can start preparing things for after the fact."
"But what about Kaneki?" Touka asked. "They've seen his face. They'll probably have his sketch out by morning. He won't be able to leave the underground without constant caution."
"I'll be fine, Touka," Kaneki tried to reassure her.
"No, it won't. If anyone deserves a chance to start anew, it's you, and you can't do that here."
"Well, it's not like he has much of a choice," Nishiki said.
A heavy weight fell onto the couch on Kaneki's vacant side, a large hand grabbing the top of the white-haired ghoul's head and pulling him into their chest.
"He, of course, could always stay with me," Tsukiyama voiced, running his fingers through Kaneki's hair, staring down, and meeting his gaze with what would have been an alluring smile if it was being used towards someone other than Kaneki. "You know I always crave your company, mon délicieux Kaneki."
Kaneki raised an unamused eyebrow as the gourmet ghoul caressed his cheek. He had long stopped thinking of Tsukiyama as a threat. While he didn't agree or trust him morally, Kaneki knew that Tsukiyama was harmless to him now. He could count on the older man with his life.
Kaneki pushed Tsukiyama back a bit, sitting back up. "As nice as that sounds, I think I'll pass." He ignored Tsukiyama's response of draping himself over the younger ghoul with his usual theatrics.
"What about the other wards?" Kaneki asked. "Could we escape to one of the others?"
"Most other wards will be under siege after tonight," Yomo said.
"And I'm going to assume that leaving the country isn't an option."
"Not through any means that won't get us caught out." Yomo shook his head.
"Then why are we even having the conversation?" Kaneki asked tiredly. "We'll just lay low, as you said. I'll be careful and stay underground unless necessary. I'm okay with that." No, you're not, his brain echoed.
The entire conversation was pointless, and Kaneki was way too mentally and physically exhausted to make believe otherwise. You wouldn't feel like this had Uta just been a few minutes slower…Uta should have just left things alone. Then he wouldn't have his friends worrying over anything.
"I may know a guy that can get you out of Japan. He isn't cheap, but he doesn't ask questions nor check whether you're human or ghoul."
Kaneki waved a hand at him. "I have nowhere near that kind of money. Seriously, I'll be fine."
Kaneki's dismissive attitude set Touka off. "Why are you so adamant about not letting us help you?" She snapped.
"Because the help is unneeded," Kaneki said. "That help can go to much more important things."
Touka looked like she wanted to strangle him, with the way she had her hands halfway raised, fingers flexing in a clenching motion. "You are so infuriating!"
"Would you two just stop?" Hinami spoke up loudly. "Fighting won't solve anything." The young girl rarely raised her voice, so the outburst had Kaneki blinking. Touka, thankfully, backed down.
"I'll pay whatever price this man requests," Tsukiyama told Uta.
"Now, hold on a minute—" Kaneki started, pinching Tsukiyama's side, but he was blatantly ignored.
"If Kaneki is leaving, then I'm going too!" Hinami exclaimed.
"No, no, you're not! I didn't even agree—"
"I'm going to go too," Touka said. "He'll be lost if he goes by himself."
"I'm not leaving—"
"The more people that go, the harder it'll be to be smuggled out. And it'll raise the price," Uta warned.
Tsukiyama clicked his tongue. "You think money is an issue for me? No."
"Can I kindly get a word in here?" Kaneki demanded, eye twitching. What did they take him for, a nine-year-old? He didn't need a damn babysitter or someone to make decisions for him.
"Well, I have no reason to go," Nishiki said. "Besides, I don't want to leave Kimi."
"And I have grown fond of the life I've set up here," Tsukiyama stated. "So, I will fund whatever Kaneki should desire from here."
Uta turned to Yomo. "And you?"
"If I go, we will have to take over food distribution that Anteiku would supply. Since Yoshimura is still unaccounted for, all his responsibilities will fall onto me."
"I can find someone to uphold your duties; if not, I can attend to them myself."
The silver-haired ghoul nodded. "Sounds like a plan, then."
Kaneki stood to his feet. "Don't I get a say in this?"
A steady "no" was said in unison, Tsukiyama pulling Kaneki by the arm back onto the couch with a chuckle. Any other protests that night fell on death's ears. Touka would speak to her best friend Yoriko before their departure and find her brother. Yomo and Uta wandered off to plan what was needed so that the ghouls who relied on Yoshimura's 'program' couldn't fend for themselves. They would definitely need it after these recent events.
Kaneki gave up on following the conversation; he didn't care where they went. He didn't even care to leave Japan in the first place. Hours later, Kaneki was still in the sitting room, lying on the couch. Everyone else had long gone to bed or doing god knows what. His wounds had healed down to just a slight itching with the help of the flesh Nishiki had given him. He desperately wanted to sleep, but his mind refused to shut down enough to sleep.
He wondered what had been done with Hide's body, what would be done. Would the CCG hold a funeral for him and all their other fallen soldiers? Hide had been one of their own in their eyes. It would be too risky for Kaneki to try and see, considering that many of them had witnessed the care he had given Hide's body. They would quickly discover their previous relations and be prepared for him to show up.
Kaneki turned onto his side, pressing his face further into the pillow. All his emotions were crashing down on him now that he no longer had the adrenaline and the others to fully distract him. He hadn't planned on feeling like this. He was supposed to be long dead by now, passing on to whatever great beyond there was and hopefully seeing Hide there. Kaneki would never not feel guilty for Hide's death, even if he were dead. But at least he wouldn't be facing the cruel, unforgiving world without him had Kaneki died alongside him. He wouldn't be feeling the aftermath, the guilt of surviving this whole ordeal, and many more, when people like Yoshimura, and the other fallen, had ultimately met their demise. People that others needed way more than they needed Kaneki Ken.
But it was out of the question if the others had anything to say about it. Uta would have told the others of his mental state, and he knew they wouldn't leave him alone once that happened. He could disappear again, this time truly on his own. He could just sneak out right now; if he was anything, he could be stealthy. Kaneki knew how to handle himself; at the very least, he was strong enough for that.
There was so much that could go wrong with this smuggling plan. Too many unknowns. It made his anxiety battle his grief for which one could smother him first, weighing heavy in his chest. No, death would have been better than feeling like this…
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