Capítulo 13: "Cheap Simulation"
Everything around us was designed to hold us here, to trap us in a perfect little world where we were the center of attention. A world where nothing ever went wrong.
Rick pulled me away from the hoard of school with urgency in his movements. "We've gotta get to the showers, Morty. They won't expect us to be naked."
I looked back at rick, not confused but weirded out.
But before I could say more, Rick grabbed me by the arm and yanked me through the door into a locker room.
"Listen to me, Morty! We're in a simulation created by the Zigerions, these intergalactic scammers who want to steal your grandpa's dark matter recipe. We're their test subjects, and they're messing with us by putting us into a world that feels real, but it's not. Now, get naked, or we'll never escape. They're uncomfortable with nudity. It messes with their programming."
Knowing this was true I checked my wrist the collar still on my wrist, but the last thing I expected was to be dragged into a locker room by Rick, being told to strip for our lives. But in the warped, twisted logic of the universe we were in, it made sense.
We quickly shed our clothes, and as expected, the world around us started glitching. Suddenly, the scenery flickered, as if the system was struggling to keep up.
Meanwhile, Jerry—oh, Jerry—was blissfully unaware, going about his day as if this wasn't the simulation of his life. Jerry didn't question anything. He got into his car, pitched his silly apple slogan, and even made it through the whole "Appley Award" thing—completely unaware that he was stuck in an artificial loop.
It was almost pathetic.
Rick and I exchanged glances, then came up with a plan almost simultaneously ."Alright, Morty, we're gonna create chaos. We need to put on a rap concert and get everyone involved in some bizarre, dance moves. Trust me, it'll work."
"To hog the CPU space and overload the system right got it." Rick looked at me with a raised eyebrow but didn't say much. He was most likely confused I actually understood his plan.
But we didn't have time to be wasting. I had to trust him, or we'd get caught in a never-ending cycle of fake reality. I'd do it myself but I had none of the weapons I usually rely on.
Rick and I carried on running towards an open park, each glitching person looking as we ran there picking up items we'd need for the performance.
We began quickly together, the concert wasn't much at first, Rick was yelling nonsensical commands, urging the crowd to perform bizarre dances, shout random catchphrases, and pretend to play invisible instruments, each movement designed to stretch the limits of the simulation. For a moment, it seemed to not work but as more filled the already crowded recreation ground I saw the skies glitch and patterns form in the crowd.
Just when I thought we were on the brink of success the sky shattered like glass. For a brief moment, I could see what lay beyond the simulation: stars, galaxies, the emptiness of space. But it was only for a second before the fractured sky mended itself, the pieces of the puzzle snapping back into place like nothing had happened.
"Yes!" Rick shouted, as though he could feel the system buckling beneath the weight of our absurdity. "It's working, Morty. Keep it up!"
I kept pushing, commanding people to "dance like they were at a wedding" and "act like they were eating the worst food of their lives." The more bizarre it became, the more the simulation seemed to glitch, but I still couldn't shake the feeling that something was off. Why was it all coming so easily?
"Something's wrong, Rick," I said, glancing around. "This isn't hard. Why isn't anyone trying to stop us?"
Rick's eyes narrowed, his pupils scanning the scene.
Although he didn't see anything or say anything I knew that he knew what was going on.
In the end, our "escape" was only a temporary one. As expected. We fled through a hallway and snatched up Crystallized Core Processing Units, I had that unsettling feeling that everything was far too easy. We'd stolen the stuff we needed to escape and create concentrated dark matter, hopping into an escape pod.
On our way out we were still getting chased but it was clear we'd already made it, rick quickly made the concentrated dark matter pouring in two parts plutonic quarks (pink) and one part cesium (green), and wit that we were on our way to Earth—but when we got back to Rick's garage, it was all wrong. The garage melted away like a mirage. We were still trapped.
Prince Nebulon appeared sitting on his floating thrown with mockery in his voice. "You thought you escaped? It was all part of the simulation!" He said while chuckling.
Rick in an attempt to make a diversion, yanked my pants down to get Nebulon distracted. Classic Rick. But it worked. We were back on the run, facing yet another chase, but this time, I was starting to think—this was all too easy. The aliens didn't even bother to make this hard.
As we neared what we thought was the real escape, the ship began to fade, and I froze. "Wait... Rick, this isn't real, is it?" I said aloud kinda confused by the sheer volume of simulations.
Rick gave me a pointed look. "No, Morty. We're still in the simulation. We've been here the whole time."
And just like that, everything fell apart. We were still stuck, still playing along in a world that existed only to test us. Even Jerry, clueless as ever, was locked in his endless cycle of success and failure.
I stared at the Zigerions, laughing, as their attempts to make dark matter exploded in their faces. Rick's smug smile said it all: he knew all along.
The Zigerions' world crumbled as their attempts to create dark matter backfired, and in the aftermath, Rick took out his saxophone. He started playing Baker Street, the sound echoing through the wreckage of our escape pod.
Somehow, that felt fitting.
In the end, we'd survived—again and I was swept up in another adventure completely unprepared, regardless of that, this world, this universe, it wasn't as difficult as I'd thought. And even if it was I wasn't going to let it swallow me up without a fight.
But for now, we were out. And we'd made it back to our reality. Right?
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