Capítulo 12: Meditations
"You knew me Dream...You knew me when I was an Angel. What..was it like?"
"You were very proud, Samael, but you were also very beautiful and wise and passionate.."
"Was I? Yes...yes, I was. I cared about so many things, I cared so deeply, back then in the cold, at the beginning of things in the silver city. I suppose that was why everything started to go wrong. You know...I still wonder how much of it was planned? How much of it all he knew in advance."
---Samael to dream at the entrance to Hell.
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Something or someone was responsible for this...
Stretching out my hands, I closed my eyes and peered into the sands of time. Divinity interacted with reality baring all secrets before my eyes. From the beginning of existence to the current time, and Lo and Behold, I found my answer.
I was indeed right. Someone had been responsible for this great change and this someone was none other than a Primordial of Khaos, The Earth Mother and Mother of all- the one known as Gaia.
*
The Primordials of Khaos. I witnessed their birth at the beginning of time. Khaos birthed them before Michael, Gabriel and I created Father's Multiverse.
In the dark of her womb, Khaos grew restless. She envied the Almighty's creation and her own spirit longed for expression, for fragments of herself to break free and know freedom beyond her bounds. And so, with inspiration from the angelic hosts, she reached deep within her own depths, gathering that raw, boundless energy and—willed—the first of her children into being. These were the Primordials. Titans of pure, untempered essence:
They were powerful, yes, but more than that, they were free. Not like us, the angels of Heaven who were each given purpose and role. No, the Primordials bore no shackles of duty, no higher law to dictate their path. They simply were, raw and wild and magnificent, inheritors of their mother's desire to be, unfettered by Heaven's design.
For beings such as myself, crafted with divine precision, imbued with purpose and order, their existence is nothing but a blight on creation.
Imagine it—beings who have no duty, no responsibility, not bound by the rules of Heaven nor swayed by the will of the Almighty. They roam as they wish, untempered and unrefined. For one such as I, who lives by the virtues of loyalty, of obedience, they are an insult. Their very nature is a mockery of all we stand for.
Perhaps it is Khaos's indulgence in them that I find so… repellent. She crafted them as children, cherished them as precious expressions of her whims, but they know nothing of true purpose. They are free to wander, to break as they please. Tell me, what pride is there in power without control, in existence without meaning? Or perhaps, deep down, I envy them because they have something I can only dream of -- True Freedom.
I sighed to myself, as I walked through lush forests, admiring Gaea's handiwork. Of course, it was nowhere near compared to what I could achieve, but it was praiseworthy. Beautiful skies that separated the waters above from those below..
Clear blue seas and oceans, lush vegetation. My vision magnified with microscopic detail and I saw millions of not billions of infinitesimal creatures, birthing, growing and evolving. Tiny creatures moving in harmony, all driven by purpose, simple yet profound. Their lives may be brief, their forms delicate, but they reflected an elegance that spoke of eternity. Such tiny beings, and yet they followed the same order that governed all things—their cycles, their instincts, each perfectly in tune with the grander rhythms of existence.
For a moment it humbled me, really. For if these, the smallest of creatures, have meaning and purpose woven into their forms, then what does that say of all creation?
Gaea's creation inspired something within me and had me musing for a while. I raised my head into the distance and I witnessed magnificent creatures, huge towering beasts. Tapping into Gabriel's authority for naming for a moment, I bestowed upon them a name - dinosaurs, as I peered into their mortal souls.
They were magnificent creatures, giants of raw strength and primal beauty, living in a world unbridled, untamed. They roamed the earth unburdened by laws or commandments, unrestrained by duty or devotion. In them, I saw a kind of freedom I would never know.
They existed simply as they were—fearsome, powerful, entirely themselves, answerable to none but the forces of nature. They knew no heaven, no judgment, no divine plan to bind their purpose. They hunted, roared, and thrived on their own terms. To be like them… to walk as a being of pure existence, without purpose imposed upon my spirit, without duty chaining my every action—it was a thought I found oddly alluring.
One of the beasts noticed me, it's huge body towering over me, rushed over, maws wide open, teeth bared, mouth watering, salivating at the thought of such magnificent prey.
I felt insulted, yet I was humoured and couldn't help but laugh. The beast hurled itself onto me, yet with a glance, a telekinetic hold seized it and hurled it into the distance, sending it crashing through the large trees in the distance.
Taking a seat on a small rock, I couldn't help but shake my head and smile. Mortality was so..soft..so fragile. With even a flick of my finger, I could destroy this beast both body and soul, yet I chose not to. This wasn't me showing mercy, rather intrigue and curiosity got the best of me and I continued to observed it, watching how it rushed back at me over and over again only to get hurled back in the same way.
After a while, I took a deep breath, arose from my seat and turned to the beast. I had had my fill of the farce that was ensuing. It lounged towards me with incredible and over renewed hate, so as merciful as I was, I decided to put the poor thing out of its misery.
In a moment, it's claws were upon me, ready to tear me apart, yet with but a simple indifferent glance, waves of cosmic energy began to ripple through the air around me. Stars seemed to glimmer more brightly, as if drawing power from distant realms, and a shimmering light illuminated my figure, pulsing with raw, ancient energy.
Without a sound, the cosmic forces took on a life of their own, surging forward like an unseen tidal wave. The dinosaur's body began to dissolve, each atom unraveling into cosmic dust as the energies striped away every particle of its physical form. But my power did not stop at the physical; the energies penetrated deeper, unraveling the very essence of the creature's spirit. In a silent burst, the dinosaur's soul disintegrated scattering into the void like stardust.
But at this point, I was miles away from that area, continuing my peaceful and enlightening sight seeing adventure - until my senses picked out an unfamiliar aura, one that even I could swear to never had come across before.
It was rather odd for me, but I stood motionless, and took it all in, a sensation that resonated deeper than any I had ever felt before. There was no fanfare to the aura, no blaze of glory or heavenly might. Instead, the essence was quiet, enveloping, as though existence itself paused in that presence.
"The essence of Death?"
I asked myself and began taking steady steps retracing my path and following the trail of the deathly still essence that permeated the vicinity.
This wasn't the essence of the Angel of Death - no it wasn't Azrael. His presence was a line drawn in the sand, a mark that divided life from death. He was precise, exacting, the sharpened edge of Heaven's judgment. Azrael carries the weight of law, duty, an end delivered by force and finality. Yet this....
I was flabbergasted, almost contemplating at that point. Death was the ultimate inevitable end of all things. Yet, even a concept as malicious as Death could embody different facets- Azrael who was finality and totality - the sharp reflection of the decay, loneliness and judgement that death brought, yet....
this presence was an embrace, a certainty that awaits with open arms rather than a judgment passed. It was not here to take, to claim. It simply was, and all things answered to it in time. Where Azrael was the blade that strokes, this was the stillness that followed, the gentle end that offers no battle, no argument.
I followed the trail of the aura, and it led me to where I had destroyed that creature, and there, the moment my eyes gazed on the being, I stood in utter confusion..
She was… unexpected. No grand robes, no armor, no shroud to cast fear. Instead, she stood there, almost mortal—dressed simply, casually, as if she were just another soul walking through existence. Dark hair framing her face, her eyes deep and steady, like two mirrors reflecting eternity itself. They were eyes that seemed to carry every secret of the living and the dead and yet offered warmth instead of terror.
A/N: Sorry for the late update. Takes me a while to write each chapter, not to talk of the editing .
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