Capítulo 192: Lament of the Solitary Star
Xianyue remained silent. She had already been planning to leave Bai Manor and return to the barracks within a day or two, as the Chu forces under Cheng Qiang's command were due to arrive in Yecheng. Though Chen Ruoxi hadn't voiced it directly, Xianyue was certain she was being discreetly ushered out. It was a novel experience, but one that hardly pleased her. Apart from Lan Yi Xuan, she disliked the roundabout way people spoke. If Chen Ruoxi wanted her gone, a straightforward request would have been appreciated, a courage born of love that Xianyue might even have admired.
Chen Ruoxi glanced cautiously at Xianyue, visibly anxious as Xianyue kept her silence. "Miss Xianyue, I don't mean anything else by it," she said, her voice gentle. "It's just that Gongzi seems truly exhausted. Every day he's busy in the barracks, returning late at night, only to rise early the next morning to leave again."
She wished she hadn't read too much into it. She genuinely wanted a good impression of Chen Ruoxi. While she could be understanding toward Bai Zhanfeng, she also hoped that Ruoxi would grasp what Bai truly wanted. Often, her well-intentioned actions might be precisely what distanced them. If even mutual love can be thwarted by misunderstandings, then a one-sided attachment is likely doomed from the start. Sometimes, what one perceives as "good" only widens the chasm.
"The Chu army will soon reach Yecheng. I'll be leaving tomorrow."
Xianyue observed Chen Ruoxi's shock, a slight smile tugging at her lips as she sipped her tea. Chen Ruoxi's face flushed, mortified. She hadn't expected this response. She didn't want Xianyue to remain here any longer; every day her heart had wavered with conflict. In the beginning, she was happy—her husband, who rarely returned, now came back each night. She'd wait up for him, only to sleep once he'd left the next morning. But each night, her disappointment grew. Even when he returned, he never came to her courtyard. She resorted to waiting at the gates, only to be met with his cold indifference as he walked away, leaving her a resolute, unyielding silhouette. Worse, he went to the Rose Courtyard every night, knowing full well that she belonged to another, that she was a queen of another land. Yet he would stand there, lingering for hours, whether she was awake or not. Xianyue would never understand the feeling of watching her husband gaze longingly at another woman.
Chen Ruoxi tightened her fists, staring at Xianyue. Seeing her silent, Xianyue knew she had something to say but remained unhurried. Although she hadn't eaten dinner and was slightly hungry, a few pastries had been enough to stave off her appetite for now.
"Miss Xianyue, I truly love Gongzi," Ruoxi finally stood, voice trembling. "I wish for him to love me in return."
Ruoxi's eyes shone as she said this, her expression uplifted with a simple happiness, one that Xianyue had never felt. Though their circumstances differed, both found themselves ensnared in love's labyrinth. She loved Bai Zhanfeng, who remained indifferent to her. As for Xianyue, she and Lan Yi Xuan had endured so much to finally come together, believing their happiness was assured. Yet the result was vastly different—a rift between one's truest love and closest kin. Perhaps Chen Ruoxi thought Xianyue didn't understand her pain, yet Xianyue knew all too well the anguish of being unable to walk with her beloved.
For Ruoxi, thinking of Bai Zhanfeng allowed her to hold onto hope, to at least smile. But for Xianyue, thoughts of Lan Yi Xuan only brought endless, sleepless nights and a heart laden with sorrow, like a weight pressing on her chest.
"All you've done hasn't gone unnoticed. Someday, he will understand."
Xianyue's tone was calm, her heart mirroring her voice. Though she might not favor Chen Ruoxi's actions, she understood them. Few could remain rational in the face of love. She hoped Ruoxi would recognize this, refraining from behavior that might displease Bai Zhanfeng and strain their marriage.
Ruoxi's eyes shone with newfound clarity as she looked at Xianyue. She'd kept Chuntao stationed at the Rose Courtyard door daily, hoping to catch a glimpse of the woman her husband admired so deeply. If her husband could gaze upon her with that same gentle intensity, she wouldn't mind even as a stand-in. She'd never imagined her love could lower her to such humility, yet she genuinely wished for Gongzi to love her, for them to live together not as estranged ice, but as respectful companions.
"Will such a day really come?"
Xianyue didn't answer. She rose and walked to the window, herself unsure of the answer. Yet she harbored hope, however faint. Unlike her, whose heart lay barren and desolate, void of hope, drained of even the will to fight.
Leaving Lan City, leaving his side, she'd believed, would be enough to sever her feelings. But distance did nothing to lessen the agony. When alone, her thoughts would spiral uncontrollably to that person, fueling her hatred toward Liu Xinyou—a hatred that had rooted deep within her bones, stronger than Chen Ruoxi's in every way.
Xianyue passed Ruoxi and stepped into the doorway, where the night had fully settled. The lanterns under the eaves glowed softly, and though no moon graced the sky, stars scattered across the vast darkness, illuminating the long corridor.
"If you don't try, how will you know?"
Her voice drifted gently on the night breeze, reaching Ruoxi's ears. Ruoxi turned, gazing at Xianyue's retreating figure in silence. How could she say she hadn't tried? Since their wedding, she'd made every effort to please and draw closer to him. Yet, aside from one drunken encounter, he had never touched her. After that incident, he grew even more distant. Were it not for Xianyue's stay at Bai Manor, he wouldn't have returned at all. Bai's grandfather longed for a grandchild, a hope he seldom shared, placing the burden solely on her shoulders. She, too, yearned for a child, but Gongzi was always at the barracks, never drinking, never even approaching her. How could she ever conceive?
"Then try a little longer. You and Bai Zhanfeng have not been married long. If you plan to spend a lifetime together, there's still time."
Though they had only been married for half a year, Nian Xiaoyu had endured three long years of devotion to Bai Zhanfeng. She had been the subject of ridicule across the martial world, her struggles and anguish far exceeding what Chen Ruoxi now endured.
Chen Ruoxi was the cherished daughter of the Chen family, yet so too was Nian Xiaoyu, the treasured daughter of the Wulin Alliance leader. Those at Qiutian Manor had treated her with nothing but warmth. How young she had been when she first left Changtian Manor, and despite the treacherous world of martial arts, she had persevered for three years. Had Bai Zhanfeng not been so heartlessly cold, who knows how long she might have continued her loyalty? Unlike Nian Xiaoyu, Chen Ruoxi had at least the legitimacy of her position—reason enough to hope.
Chen Ruoxi remained silent. After all her efforts and patience, hope had all but faded. She often wanted to let go, yet each time, pride held her back. Seeing Xianyue had only intensified her resolve to replace her in Bai Zhanfeng's heart. But now, watching him linger outside the Rose Courtyard each night, her rekindled hope was gradually being extinguished.
The night air, cold and damp, brushed against her face, sending a chill that seeped through her clothes and into her bones, causing her to shiver.
Xianyue stood outside, her dark hair flowing in the breeze, her white gown fluttering. Chen Ruoxi, standing inside, was overtaken by the penetrating chill. After a long pause, she finally spoke, "Miss Xianyue, you haven't had dinner yet, have you?"
Xianyue didn't turn, only responded softly. Ruoxi's maid, having watched her all afternoon, must have known she hadn't eaten since waking from her nap. She had stood at the door waiting since then—where would she have found the time for dinner?
"Would you care to stay and dine with me?" Xianyue suddenly turned, smiling at Chen Ruoxi.
Ruoxi hesitated, unsure of her intent. After a moment's thought, she smiled politely and shook her head. "I've just eaten. I wouldn't want to intrude on you, Miss Xianyue."
Xianyue's smile remained. "In that case, I won't keep you."
As Ruoxi left, Xianyue's meal was promptly brought in. Since she had promised to leave the following day, she intended to savor this last peaceful meal.
Halfway through her dinner, Bai Zhanfeng arrived, brimming with excitement, and sat opposite her. Xianyue looked up at him. "Why are you back so early?"
With a mischievous smile, Bai Zhanfeng revealed his surprise. The look brought back memories of the carefree Bai Zhanfeng she once knew.
The subtle fragrance in the air made her close her eyes, taking a deep breath. She put down her chopsticks, moving closer, her face bright with a smile. "Pear Blossom Wine!"
She knew the aroma well.
Bai Zhanfeng placed the jar on the table. "Aged thirty years."
She grabbed the jar and removed the lid, the intoxicating fragrance wafting out. It was indeed an aged wine, far richer than what she'd had on Lihua Mountain.
"Where did you get such a rare treat?"
Her grin widened, and Bai Zhanfeng laughed, pleased to see her so delighted.
"A subordinate of mine, a man fond of his wine like you, visited Xinglong Tavern today. The old innkeeper, celebrating his seventieth birthday, unearthed several jars. My man, being friendly with him, managed to procure two jars. Knowing how you enjoy wine, he insisted I bring one to you."
Xianyue laughed, already taking her first sip. The richness of the wine, its intense pear blossom flavor lingering on her lips, was a mark of its quality—perfectly suited to her tastes.
"Truly remarkable wine. I must thank him properly."
She licked her lips, smiling. "This final supper couldn't be better."
There was a contentment in her heart, tinged with a quiet sadness.
"Final supper?" Bai Zhanfeng placed another jar of wine before her, his brow furrowing.
Holding the jar in her hands, she beamed. "I'm returning to the camp tomorrow."
Setting the jar down, she leaned closer. "Why don't you come with me tomorrow? You've been running between the camp and Bai Manor without much rest. Tomorrow, sleep in a bit longer—I'll go back after a good rest."
His smile froze as he looked at her. "Why are you suddenly so set on returning to the camp? Are you unhappy here?"
He glanced at the guards posted by the door, his brows knitting tightly. When he had arrived, he'd noticed them but thought nothing of it. Since when had Rose Courtyard been under guard?
Before Xianyue could reply, his gaze darkened, his voice laced with restrained anger. "Has someone upset you? Or told you something unpleasant?"
She looked back at him, momentarily lost for words.
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