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49% Fake Saint of the Year: You Wanted the Perfect Saint? Too Bad! / Chapter 49: Side Story: Generational Gap

Capítulo 49: Side Story: Generational Gap

This is the story of an incident that occurred after a training session on a regular day.

On that day, Verner and his friends were outdoors, running laps to build their stamina. Knights had to work on their sword skills, magic, and movements, but the foundation upon which all of these other skills were built was their stamina and core strength. Whether they were fighting, marching, or simply standing by on alert, they had to rely on their endurance.

Case in point: at the battle at the royal capital, the knights and soldiers had been forced to hold out for an hour until news of the attack had reached the saint's castle. After that, they'd had to hold out for an additional eight minutes until Ellize had arrived. During that time, those men and women didn't get a single chance to rest. Their endurance had been put to the test.

Being able to unleash insane attacks didn't mean a thing unless you could keep it up for long stretches of time. You'd be useless if you became winded after killing a couple of monsters...as a knight, that is. There were other career paths you could pursue with such explosive skills, but being a knight simply wasn't one of them.

Thus, students were asked to run every day. Usually, the students would move on to other activities and training after they'd completed this strenuous warm-up. On that particular day, however, the teachers had wanted to check the students' stamina, so they had them run a hundred laps. One lap was three hundred meters, which meant they had to run thirty kilometers...all while carrying their equipment.

By the time they'd finished, the students were spent. The ones that specialized in magic, such as Aina, Marie, and Eterna, couldn't even stand anymore.

On the other hand, Verner, the musclehead, and John, the former soldier, both looked like they could go for a few more laps without any issue.

Aina couldn't catch her breath. "Ha... Can't...run...anymore. I'm...dead..." she panted.

Just as she'd said, she was about to die from exhaustion.

Eterna wiped the sweat off her face. Her clothes were so wet that they stuck to her skin. "I need a bath..." she whined.

The students were wearing their sportswear. The girls' curves stood out more than usual, and the boys couldn't help but let their eyes wander from time to time.

"How are you feeling?" Headmaster Fox asked as he approached the group.

He was pretending to observe the knights-to-be's efforts, but he was most likely here to check on his beloved daughter.

"Hello, Headmaster," Verner greeted him.

"It looks like you've been working hard. How nice. I'm impressed. Endurance is vital for knights, so keep at it," Fox praised them, a smile on his face. That quickly vanished as he turned to glare at the boys who'd been looking at his dear Aina a little too much.

"Yes, Father!" Aina exclaimed. Her father's encouragement had made her lively again, but then she suddenly grimaced. "By the way... Were you running laps too, Father?"

Fox looked puzzled. "No. I only do desk work these days. My shoulders tend to get stiff when I sit all day, so I decided to take a short walk."

"Um, Father..." Aina started. "You... You do take baths, right?"

Fox seemed vexed. "Of course!"

"Yeah... Of course you do. I'm sorry for being ru—"

"I took one just four days ago!" her father exclaimed.

Aina, who'd been relieved after hearing her father's answer, froze. She looked like she couldn't believe her ears. Marie seemed to be just as shocked, while Verner, Eterna, John, and Fiora didn't react.

After a short pause, she uttered three words—four simple syllables—that broke her father's heart. "You stink, Father."

It was Fox's turn to freeze.

"I can't believe you haven't taken a bath in four days! It's no wonder you stink, Father!" she continued.

"I-I stink...?"

"Of course you'd stink! Why aren't you bathing regularly?!"

"Four days isn't that long, and...I feel like bathing more often would be pushing it..."

"What do you mean, 'pushing it'?!" Aina shouted angrily.

Marie nodded. Fox gradually began crumbling down, his daughter's words piercing through his heart like countless sharp blades.

The other students were also looking at Fox coldly, but Verner and his friends didn't understand why. Sure, they took baths every day because the school had a communal bath (to be precise, Verner had only gotten in the habit of washing up every day after Ellize had unexpectedly visited his room) but until coming here, they'd almost never bathed. Water was precious, and it couldn't be wasted. They'd cleaned themselves with a wet cloth when they'd had to, but that was about it.

"I'm afraid the generational gap is at play here," Supple said, shifting his glasses so that they would shine under the sun. With everyone's attention firmly secured, he began his explanation with a proud look on his face. "Nowadays, nobles take daily baths, but this custom is fairly recent—it only started twelve years ago. Before that, people feared water. It carried death, you see. Some people did bathe, but no more than once a month. They usually cleaned their bodies with a wet cloth instead. I'm sure you have no memories of bathing frequently when you were young, right?"

"Now that you mention it... I don't recall bathing often as a child..." Aina said.

Twelve years was a pretty short time, but for a young teen like Aina, it wasn't that short either. She had only been five years old at the time. Her memories of that period were hazy at best, but now that Supple Ment had mentioned it, she realized that she didn't really recall taking baths as a young child.

"It's because water had been deemed dangerous back then," he explained. "Monsters would often poison our water supplies. We'd often hear stories about people dying right after washing or drinking from a river."

The monsters served the witch and only had one goal: to attack humanity for her benefit. They didn't stop at violent attacks either—they also used vicious tricks, such as destroying crops or poisoning water. As a result, using natural bodies of water was incredibly dangerous.

"The only safe source we had was rainwater—no, I suppose it wasn't entirely safe either. Sometimes, the witch made poisonous rain pour down on us, so we could never truly relax. For instance, I remember that Griselda, the previous witch, created a rain that could burn through human skin. Besides, water spoils if we store it for too long. No one could ever gather enough to bathe in."

"Then...the only water you could really trust was water created by magic?" Marie asked.

"Exactly, Marie. Only when a human magician had created water could we truly be certain that it was safe... Until Lady Ellize came around, that is."

No one had asked Supple for a whole speech on water, but he was more than happy to give it anyway. Whenever he got a chance to bring up one of Ellize's many achievements, he wouldn't shut up.

Everyone braced themselves for the endless lecture to come.

Hi everyone! Ellize here! Today I'm live from the saint's church in the royal capital! "Why are you here," you ask? To do my job, duh!

It was a huge pain, but I was here to use my magic in front of the believers and one of the Church's big shots. I was to produce water and create little barriers to make sure germs wouldn't get in. The barriers only had to keep out germs, though, so they weren't very sturdy—anyone could easily break them with a little flick. Since I didn't have to worry about its construction, I could focus on making them durable. They'd last for around a year.

People often said that water spoiled, but that was a bit of an oversimplification. Water itself couldn't spoil—the germs that proliferated in it did. As long as you made sure they couldn't get in, water wouldn't go bad.

I filled huge jars with water and sealed them with a barrier. After getting through all one hundred of them, the first part of my job was done. Each jar contained enough water to fill one bathtub.

After that, I headed to the church's basement and stood in front of the humongous water storage.

"If you please, Lady Ellize," the big shot said, bringing his hands together in prayer.

I gave him my usual business smile and answered, "Please leave it to me."

I activated my magic. I'd created that humongous water tank myself a while ago. It had taken me a few days to finish, and it was as big as the Tokyo Dome. The church had installed ditches to redirect any rainwater in there, which made my life much easier. All I had to do was kill the germs that had found their way into the tank and dispel whatever poison there was to make the water drinkable.

After that, I created a barrier so that the water I'd just purified would stay pristine, aaand...done!

"I'm finished. This water is fit for consumption now."

"It's a miracle... I'm so thankful to be able to witness you perform miracles time and time again," the big shot blubbered, shedding tears.

Lmao.

The big shot who got to witness me purify the water changed every time. Apparently, they truly believed that I was performing miracles (lol) and fought for a chance to see me at work.

Chill, guys, I'm just using magic.

The higher-ups coined names for the water I dealt with and distributed it all over the country to improve the Church's reputation. There was "purified water," which referred to the stuff in this tank, and "The Saint's Holy Shower," which was water I created myself using magic.

I was fine with the whole "purified water" thing, but I really wished they'd stop advertising the liquid in the jars as "The Saint's Holy Shower!" It made me think of a, um, different kind of shower...

Anyway, purified water was given out to the people free of charge, but holy shower jars were sold—mainly to nobles.

Honestly speaking, they're both the same. It's all water.

Nobles often boasted that they'd gotten healthier after bathing in the holy shower water, but I suspected this was nothing more than a placebo effect.

Whatever. I'll go handle the last part of my job and go home.

I stepped out and created a few fairies out of magic. I was using the same spell I'd practiced many times while I was bored during my little NEET confinement. I sent them to the saint churches located all over the region.

"Oh! Fairies..." the big shot gasped in awe.

Dude, this is still just magic. They're lumps of mana that look like fairies, not the real deal. You know that, right?

I gave them this shape because people tended to get scared and think the witch was attacking if they simply saw mana spheres flying around. By now, everyone knew that these little fairies were mine.

Anyway, the other churches all had tanks in their basements similar to the one I'd just purified. These fairies could do my job for me. I'd already infused them with the spell they needed; they only had to dash into the water tank to activate its effects.

I couldn't exactly spend my time running around, so I often used such fairies to purify water or rejuvenate natural sites. It was an easy way to increase my fame all across the land—my magic basically did the job for me, all on its own.

Sure, I was ready to put forth every effort in order to achieve my goals, but if I could do that and take it easy at the same time... Well, I wouldn't say no.

What is it? Why do I bother coming to the main church if I can do it all remotely, you ask? I mean, I could but...

I kinda had to show my face once in a while, if only to maintain the Church's prestige. I wasn't all that pleased about it—I absolutely hated it, actually—but I had to put up with it. Truth be told, yeah, I did feel like showing up just to meet up with some old man was a waste of my time! But the one time I'd boycotted them, they'd come all the way to my castle to ask me if they'd "done anything to displease me." They'd acted like it was the end of the world, and that they wouldn't survive if I didn't grace them with my presence...

I don't really have a choice, do I?

"Thank you so much, Lady Ellize! Thanks to your hard work, the people will have enough to drink this month too," he said, bowing to me in reverence.

Could you stop worshipping me? Just say thank you, that'll be more than enough.

If you were wondering why I had to do all that, it was because the people of this world were chronically in need of water.

The situation was much better these days, but the shortage used to be quite terrible.

Since the monsters kept poisoning the rivers and lakes, they couldn't build dams to collect water. Small villages struggled to get enough to drink, so most people had to resort to beer.

The only safe source that existed here was water created by magic. Nobles could simply hire one or two specialized magicians to secure enough drinking water. If they pushed their magicians a little, they could even get enough to bathe once a week or so.

The Saint's Church also did its best to hire as many water magicians as possible so that they could distribute the precious resource to the common people, but this created a divide between them and the rich. They constantly fought over the magicians, which made it increasingly harder for ordinary citizens to access water.

Needless to say, people couldn't wash up properly, and they'd get sick more easily. It was no wonder the population of this world had never increased. People died of hunger left and right and, even when they had enough to eat, they died of random illnesses from lack of hygiene.

I'd noticed all this a little before I'd started carrying out my duties as the saint. Back then, I took long baths every single day. One day, Fox sat me down and told me, "Filling up a bathtub every day is a little too extravagant, Lady Ellize. Would you agree to tone it down a little?" before explaining to me how precious water was.

I couldn't accept that, though! I used to be a Japanese man, and the Japanese take bathing seriously! If I didn't take baths, I simply couldn't calm down.

I hated putting up with restrictions, so I decided to do what any logical person would have done: fix the issue. If I couldn't take baths every day because water was precious, I just had to make it so that it wasn't as valuable anymore.

Besides...if washing up wasn't an option, how was I supposed to ogle pretty girls in the bath?! I'd gone through a damn genderswap! What was the point if I didn't at least reap the benefits in the bath, right?! Plus, I didn't want the heroines of a dating sim to stink. What about my hopes and dreams?! Was I supposed to give them all up and let perfectly good heroines smell like crap?!

I was constantly using magic to clean my body—both inside and out—so I didn't technically need baths. I also wouldn't get sick if I drank poisonous water. Others didn't have access to the same cheat code, though. If they didn't wash, they'd get dirty. If they drank weird stuff, they'd hurt their stomachs.

So anyway, I'd decided to tackle the issue, and—as you can see—the situation had greatly improved.

To be fair, it'd been years since a monster had last poisoned a river, and I'd long since purified those places anyway. The rivers were pretty much safe now. I couldn't guarantee some lone idiotic monster wouldn't try it again, though, so for the time being, we advised people not to use natural sources of water if they could help it.

All righties! My job here is done, so time to go back to the academy and enjoy a well-deserved bath!

"And that is how the value of water gradually decreased over the years. We've all been blessed by our glorious saint. Her work has also led to better hygiene, and the spread of contagious diseases has decreased. In the past, water itself was feared, you see. Simply touching some could be enough for terrible epidemics to spread, so people thought that it brought disaster. We can only assume that this fear had been instilled by previous saints in an attempt to keep people away from dangerous sources."

Supple's detailed history lesson was finally over. Verner and his friends let out a sigh of relief. They were supposed to be training their practical skills in class today, but Supple had somehow hijacked the class to deliver his speech.

"I never knew about all of this," Aina said. "So that's why my father is so reluctant to take baths..."

"He has yet to adapt to the current values of our society. He cannot let go of the idea that safe water is incredibly precious and should not be wasted," Supple concluded.

Water had stopped being as precious thanks to Ellize. Before she'd changed everything, the only water that was entirely safe was the small quantity created by water magicians. It was only natural that the older generation felt like bathing every day was a waste.

"Another consequence of its depreciation is the depreciation of water magicians," Supple continued. "There are water storages in most cities now—including several ones in the royal capital—so the magicians aren't needed anymore. The nobles and the Church have stopped monopolizing them, and most of them moved to the countryside as a result. Even small villages have access to safe water nowadays."

As a commoner, John was revolted. He couldn't stomach the selfish ways of the elite—especially since he remembered suffering from water shortage during his entire childhood. "The nobles and the Church are so selfish... They monopolized the magicians when they needed them and threw them away the moment they didn't."

"You're right. However, the nobles 'throwing them away' also meant that they regained their freedom. We make it sound better when we say that they 'worked' for the nobles and the Church but—in truth—they didn't have a choice. They were often forced into these positions regardless of their will. They were treated like convenient wells. I'm sure that Lady Ellize had considered them too when she'd endeavored to change the status quo," Supple replied passionately.

He almost seemed to be in a trance. Verner and the others were deeply impressed.

Needless to say, Supple was grossly overestimating Ellize. She hadn't even thought of those people when she'd decided to fix the water shortage, much less wondered if doing so would put them out of a job. She'd simply been lucky enough to end up with a result that improved everyone's life.

If they let Supple talk freely, they'd miss their chance to wash up. Eterna decided to speak up. "Hmm... It's not that I didn't enjoy hearing about the saint's achievements, but...can't we go bathe soon? I feel so gross."

"Same," Aina agreed. "You boys better wash up too, all right? Don't come to the next class all nasty!"

They were allowed to wash up after practical class since they sweated a lot, but their break wasn't limitless. The teachers had given them just long enough time to bathe and head to their next class. If they were late, the next teacher would simply start the lesson without waiting for them. In other words, they didn't have the time to stand there and listen to Supple prattle on endlessly.

Verner and his friends hurried back to the main building, leaving Headmaster Fox alone. He was crouching, his hands on the floor and his head drooped low.

"I...stink..."

His beloved daughter had dealt a lot of damage with her unexpected attack. The headmaster found himself unable to get up for a long time.

From that day onward, the headmaster started bathing every day without fail.

(3.4k word count)

A/n: End of volume 2 As usual, I'll continue with the next volume. Thanks for sticking with me and stay tuned. 💞💞


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