(Aerion's POV)
"I cannot believe it..." Rhaena said as we both sat next to the cradle, "You are a father....that makes me an Aunt?"
I nodded as I looked down at Visenya who was awake, looking at us as she cooed, "Yes." I said
It was nightfall, about a few days into the Royce Knights visit. They were to depart in a couple more days, as planned. I spent most of those days training with them and having Yohn help me in crafting the obsidian spears. Now, I want to spend some time with my daughter and watch her as she sleeps.
I was enamored by her, she was so beautiful, so perfect.
"I wish Baela would come see her." She said
"She will." I said, "I wrote to her already. Lord Corlys and the Princess Rhaenys will come in a few days to meet her."
"I get to see my sister, I am so happy." Rhaena said as she hugged me
I chuckled, "I am happy as well." I said as I patted her head
"Aerion!" I heard Luke call out
I turned to see Luke and Jace walk up to us, "Oh, hey boys." I said with a smile
Luke stood next to where I sat and looked down at Visenya, "Is she asleep yet?" He asked
"No, she'll be asleep soon." I said as Jace stood there
"She...." Jace started, "She looks like you and Mom...."
I looked at him, "What's that mean?"
"She doesn't look like us...." Jace said
Luke looked at him, "Yea, and?" He said, "What's the matter?"
"We don't look like Mother, Luke." Jace said
"Well, that's cause...." Luke started
"Don't you find it strange? You, Joffrey, and I don't look like our mother nor our Father but-" Jace started
"That's enough of that." I said firmly, "Have you gone and seen Joffrey to bed?"
Jace frowned, "Yea..." He said
I nodded as I looked back to Visenya, "Good. Now say good night to Visenya and head to bed, boys." I said, "Rhaena, you too. On the Morrow, we'll keep at it with training."
"I don't wanna train with you anymore." Jace said as he turned around and walked away
"Jace." Luke called out for him, "You did not say good night to Visenya!"
I watched as Jace left the room, "It's alright, Luke." I said, "Don't fret."
Luke then looked down at Visenya, "Good night, sister." He whispered, "I hope you sleep well."
Rhaena leaned in as well, "Good night, Visenya." She said with a smile
I then watched as the two walked away and out of the room, leaving me alone with the babe in her cradle.
I sighed and looked back down at Visenya, who cooed, staring at me with her wide eyes.
I smiled, "What is it?" I asked, "You got something to say?"
She gave me a smile, this innocent and pure child, she smiled at me. I did not deserve such things, I did not deserve to be in the presence of someone like her, so good....so pure.....
My hands were bloodied.....so filthy....I have taken life and yet I dare use those hands to touch her? It did not feel right. How could I? What gave me the right? Her mere expression, one of an innocent ignorance, it made me question every single decision I had made up until that point. I mean...it was not murder, I never murdered anyone. I've taken lives in the name of Justice, to uphold the law. But that doesn't change that my hands are stained red.
Someone like me did not deserve this. Did I? Was it right? Was I supposed to have her in my life? Me? Someone who has tried his best to be as good as I could be.
It did not make sense to me. Yet again, I am trying my best. I am trying my best with the boys, with Rhaena and Baela. I'm trying. I have not seen 20 name days yet but with the weight of everything on my shoulders, It feels like I've seen twice than that. Sometimes I doubt that Rhaenyra wants this, wants to be in this situation, that she wants me. She could only do this for her and her son's sake. She did it because her Father ordered it and because she knew that he wanted the best for her; Me. Visenya happened due to duty, not love. Yet.....why? Why do I feel like this?
I feel so grateful. Despite all my doubts, all my fears, all the negative feelings...I feel grateful to her. Is it just that? Do I feel more? I cared for Rhaenyra, yes, I always have....but...Have I ever felt more? Every advance she's made on me, I merely went along with it because I was just....awestruck by her. Rhaenyra, to me, was someone larger than life, someone so extraordinary. Or maybe I was feeling this way all along, I just never realized it because of how stupid I am.
Do I...Love Her? Do I Love Rhaenyra?
I frowned as I looked at Visenya, her small little arms waving at me, "Hm...." I said as I placed my finger in one of her hands and felt her gripping on it, "I....I do know this...Visenya....I love you."
"With all my heart."
*************************************************
"What's the news?" Willam asked me as we stood on the ramparts of the castle
I looked at him, "Hm?"
"There's a lot of talk going on." He said, "They say the Crown is at war again with the Triarchy. And this time, Dorne."
I sighed, "I don't know anything about that." I said, "Yes, there's a conflict there but I am not sure it's to be blown out of proportion."
"If it's anything like it was years ago, then I'd wager its a war." He said, "The Sea Snake is rumored to make his move, he has a part of his fleet there already. Vaemond is leading them, they've been at it for a few months already."
"I see." I said, "Well, I don't know what to tell you."
"This could be your chance, Aerion." He said
I looked at him, "Pardon?"
"To make a name for yourself." He said
"I don't think so." I said
"You can go in there, help defeat the Triarchy and the Dornish, and come out with nothing but glory." He said with a chuckle, "But hey, it's up to you."
"And be like him?" I said, "No, thank you. Besides, I just had a daughter. Do you truly think the Princess would allow me to go off to war now? With the young Joffrey and now Visenya, she'll struggle to go about daily."
"That's what the midwives and the others are for." Willam said, "The Princess will be fine."
"I still don't know." I said as I leaned against the edge of the rampart, "I just told her I'll stop seeking out that dragon eating beast. She will not be happy with me going to war."
"Ah, that." He said with a chuckle, "It was stupid to do that."
"You know why I did it." I said seriously
"I know, Aeiron, I know." He said, "But a Bear is not a Dragon. You could have died and Visenya would grow up without a father."
"That same logic could apply to going to war." I said
"Perhaps, but you will be the only dragon there." He argued, "And well, I doubt any man can match you in a fight."
"Hm..." I said looking down, "It's stupid."
"Well, it is your choice." He said as he patted my back, "I am glad to see you, though."
"As am I." I told him
"Does the King know?" He asked me
"I sent a letter." I said as I looked up, "He'll be overjoyed for sure..."
"Should he be in good health."