Capítulo 175: Chapter 175: Shizun, Do You Like Me?
When Chu Wanning was eating the last steamed bun, the door behind him opened. Mo Ran walked in with a pile of things and placed them on the bed.
"Shizun, there are some talisman fragments in your outer robe that you didn't take out. I've put them all here for you."
After he finished speaking, he lowered his head and walked out again.
He was really too embarrassed to directly take the brocade pouch and ask Chu Wanning. He always felt that no matter what the other side said, the atmosphere would be extremely awkward. Moreover, Chu Wanning's face was so thin, and his mouth was so clumsy. If by any chance he said something wrong and made him unhappy, what should he do?
Mo Ran pursed his lips. His black eyes flashed with a burning light. He was a little confused and at a loss.
He suddenly had a thought that even he himself found inconceivable.
Could it be that Chu Wanning …
She actually liked him?
Mo Ran was shocked by his own bold and delusional thoughts. He hurriedly shook his head and muttered in a low voice, "Impossible, impossible …"
As the saying goes, you can't see the true face of Mount Lu because you're in the mountain. This was probably the case.
If this brocade pouch belonged to someone Mo Ran didn't care about at all, such as a female cultivator, then Mo Ran would definitely be well aware when he saw it. In an instant, he would be able to determine the other party's feelings.
— If they didn't like him, why would they carry another person's brocade pouch and carry it for so many years?
Originally, things were so simple.
But as soon as he met Chu Wanning, Mo Ran became confused. People were like this. The more they cared, the easier it was for their imagination to run wild. They would become very clumsy, not knowing where to put their hands and feet. A single glance from the other party could make him feel conflicted for a long time. The other party was silent, but from that silence, he could carefully dig three feet into the ground and dig out the hidden meaning behind the pause.
In this way, no matter how simple a matter was, he would repeatedly ponder over it, carefully chewing and swallowing, tasting a lot of complicated feelings.
Did he make a mistake?
Did he misunderstand?
Did Chu Wanning forget to throw it away?
This was a question that could be denied even if one thought with one's toes, but he could actually think about it for a long time. He was lost in thought as he absent-mindedly washed the clothes in the bucket. The more he bathed, the colder his heart became.
Mo Ran couldn't help but raise his head and look towards the house. Through the old wooden windows that were papered with paper, golden candlelight shone through. The candlelight flickered, dimming and brightening. Even the tender bud in Mo Ran's chest trembled softly and swayed.
If Chu Wanning really liked him …
The Emperor Ta, who used to be so thick-skinned and thick-skinned, had only thought about this sentence halfway before his face turned red.
Mo Ran felt a little hot and thirsty.
It was a thirst that couldn't be quenched by water. The only one who could soothe his heat was the person in the room. Only the sweetness from that person's mouth could comfort him greatly and give him a moment of peace. Only that person, the man he swore to cherish, protect, and respect.
When he thought of "respect", Mo Ran's burning chest seemed to have been splashed with a cup of water. In the past, when he couldn't control himself and developed a strong desire for Chu Wanning, he would always remind himself like this and criticize himself.
But tonight was different.
Tonight's brocade pouch seemed to have added a handful of dry firewood soaked in pine oil to the burning heat in his heart, fueling his ambition.
"Respect."
He kept telling himself, but it was like a cup of water on a burning cart of firewood. The thoughts that could always be extinguished in the past burned aggressively at this moment. The cold water that was splashed on him instantly evaporated into wisps of steam, making his eyes dazed.
Thus, Mo Ran was shocked to find that the mantra of "respect" had finally, completely, completely …
It was ineffective.
In the room, Chu Wanning ate the last steamed bun. He wanted to wipe his fingers, so he walked to the bedside and took out a begonia handkerchief from the pile of junk.
He sighed, thinking that his memory was really bad. Before washing the clothes, he didn't know to take out the things inside first. He made a fool of himself in front of Mo Ran. He also didn't know that he …
"Hmm?"
Before he finished thinking, he suddenly saw a slender red string under the cover of a pile of talismans.
Chu Wanning's heart thumped. He reached out to take out the red string to take a look, but his fingers paused in the air, not daring to move forward. After hesitating for a moment, he withdrew his hand and reached into his lapel to feel the position closest to his heart.
As soon as he touched it, his expression suddenly changed.
His Acacia Flower brocade pouch really wasn't on him!
Chu Wanning's expression suddenly became extremely ugly. After a long while, he remembered that he usually kept the brocade pouch that he got from the ghost master of ceremonies inside his lapel. However, the inner pocket of the ceremonial robe that Xue Zhengyong ordered was slightly slanted. The brocade pouch was soft and slippery. He was afraid that he would accidentally drop it, so he kept it in the pocket of his outer garment.
When he carefully looked at the pile of junk, he felt as if he was struck by lightning and couldn't move.
Small things like candy were all placed at the top, and below were the talismans. Only the red string was hidden at the bottom. The person who hid it seemed to be blushing. He repeatedly waved his hand and said, "I didn't see it. I didn't see anything."
"… …"
After a long while, Chu Wanning held his breath. With a glimmer of hope, he held the end of the red string and pulled it out from the messy talismans.
… … Sure enough.
The red string of the brocade pouch had been moved. It was completely different from the way he was used to.
No matter how calm he was, his white cheeks quickly flushed red. His ears were so red that it seemed like blood was going to drip out. He opened the brocade pouch tied by the red string. The two strands of ink-black hair that had been entangled with each other for many years were like the thoughts that had been secretly coiling around him for many years. Just like that, they fell into the warm yellow candlelight and wrapped around his fingers.
Mo Ran saw his brocade pouch!
After seeing it, he even revealed that he was hiding something. He buried the brocade pouch at the bottom of the pile of junk!
This realization made Chu Wanning's head explode. Blood surged. His heart could no longer calm down. His whole face was as hot as burning charcoal.
What should I do?
Did Mo Ran already know what he was hiding in his heart?
… … It's over.
The person Mo Ran likes is Shi Mingjing. If he knows that I have feelings for him, he will definitely be scared. Will the gentle and soft relationship between the two of them collapse? Chu Wanning's mind was in chaos. His hand tightly grasped the brocade pouch. After a long time, he calmed down a little.
He hoped that Mo Ran didn't know.
Gambling on his good reputation of being a pure and simple man for many years, he hoped that Mo Ran didn't find out anything. Normally, if one day one's long-lasting secret love was found out by one's beloved, it couldn't be better. It would be a kind of relief. But for Chu Wanning, perhaps this was not the case.
He was already thirty-two years old. He had long been used to being alone.
When Mo Ran and Shi Mei were young and full of vigor, Chu Wanning had always been alone. He had never thought that now that he was thirty years old, he would still have the opportunity to be with his true love. Revealing one's true feelings was undoubtedly the beginning of a relationship. But it was also possible that it would not end in failure and return empty-handed.
Chu Wanning put away the brocade pouch again and paced back and forth in the room. Finally, he stopped in front of the dusty copper mirror.
He raised his eyelids and looked inside. The mirror had not been used for a long time. It was covered with a thick layer of dust and could only reflect a rough shadow. So he raised his hand and wiped the surface of the mirror. From the dust, a face that was not so perfect was revealed.
There was a scratch on the copper mirror. It happened to fall into the corner of his eye. Chu Wanning blinked and looked at himself.
"So ugly."
He looked at the person in the mirror. Suddenly, he was very angry and also very depressed.
"How could I … look like this?"
He knew that Mo Ran liked gentle, good-looking, slender, and beautiful young men.
And he himself had not done any of those.
Although he did not have any wrinkles, the weight of time on a person's body could not be hidden. Chu Wanning was young and mature. Now that he did not have the slightest bit of warmth, how could he have the nerve to talk about love with a young man? Moreover, that person was his own disciple.
If this spread out, not to mention himself, even Mo Ran, even if it was at the peak of life and death, they would all lose face.
Moreover, he slept for five years. Shi Mingjing grew up to be more and more beautiful, peerless in her generation. When she was not smiling, her eyes were like burning peaches. Then he looked at the person in the mirror again.
In between his eyebrows, there was only an unpleasant air of hostility and arrogance.
Comparing the two, it was obvious who was superior. Only a fool would choose him.
Chu Wan-ning looked at the dim bronze mirror. He thought to himself that if time could be rewound ten years ago and this ugly guy in the mirror had fallen in love with someone in his twenties, perhaps he would still recklessly confess due to his hot-bloodedness. It wouldn't matter even if his head was bruised and bleeding.
But now he was already thirty years old.
He was no longer young. All that was left was a sorry figure, vigilant, harsh, and a fierce face that would scare a child to tears.
Mo Ran was in his prime, Shi Mei was devastatingly beautiful.
But he was no more than an ugly guy who was no longer young. He did not dare to ask for anything, he only wanted to hide.
He only wanted to live peacefully like this. He did not even dare to think that he would be allowed to have a one-sided love, allowed to have a crush on a person, allowed to have a legitimate reason to treat that person well in the name of Shizun.
He felt that it was enough.
He was very satisfied.
Right at this moment, a creaking sound came from behind him. Chu Wanning did not turn his head. From the copper mirror, he saw Mo Ran carrying a wooden bucket and walking into the room.
Neither of them said anything. The copper mirror was still a bit blurry. Chu Wanning could only see a tall figure standing at the door, but he could not see clearly what kind of expression that figure had, or what kind of ripples of color were flowing in his eyes.
Even though he had repeated to himself a hundred times to remain calm, Chu Wanning's heart was beating very fast for no reason. He did not want Mo Ran to see his awkwardness, so he undid his high ponytail and bit the hair band between his teeth. He lowered his head and pretended to re-tie his hair in front of the mirror.
He felt that he was really smart. Biting the hair band gave him a reason not to open his mouth to greet the other person. That was —
Suddenly, a hand touched the back of his ear. Chu Wanning's body suddenly trembled. He tried to suppress it, but he still could not suppress it. He trembled slightly.
He did not often have physical contact with others, so he was not used to it. Moreover, the person who touched his ear was Mo Ran. The rough and wide palm rubbed against the delicate skin of his ear. In just a moment, his back went numb.
Chu Wanning still had his eyes lowered. He suspected that if he raised his head now, even if the light was dim, even if the copper mirror was dim, the person behind him would be able to see that his face was abnormally red.
He only bit the hair band and tried to remain calm. He said, "Are you done bathing?"
"En."
The man's voice was low and slightly hoarse.
Chu Wanning felt that he was so close to him. There was a chill from the cold night on his body, but it could not hide the man's vigorous and hot breath. This breath made him dizzy. His thoughts were blurred and slow, and he could not turn around.
Mo Ran helped him gather the loose strands of hair that had slid down. He wanted to say something, but stopped. "Shizun, just now I …"
"… …"
What did he want to say?
Chu Wanning bit the hair band and lowered his eyes. His heart was beating fast.
It seemed that what he wanted to ask was too difficult to say. Mo Ran paused for a moment, then changed the topic. "Forget it, it's nothing. It's so late, and you're still tying up your hair? "
Chu Wanning did not answer. He only felt that the body behind him was too close.
So hot.
"Are you going out?"
Chu Wanning said, "No, I'm just going out to wash the dishes."
"I'll help you."
Chu Wanning said, "I have hands and feet."
Mo Ran smiled behind him. He seemed to be looking for something to talk about. He smiled awkwardly. "It's good that you have hands and feet, but Shizun is also clumsy. I'm afraid you'll bump into something."
Chu Wanning, "… …"
Seeing that he did not speak, he thought that he was unhappy. Mo Ran withdrew his smile and said seriously, "The water outside is cold. Remember to take some hot water out."
Chu Wanning responded. It was a little like an "en", but also a little like a "hum". It was a vague nasal sound, but it was very pleasant to hear. When it fell into Mo Ran's ears, it urged the bud in front of his chest to be more aggressive. His Adam's apple moved slightly. His eyes fell on Chu Wanning's pale neck that was exposed from the edge of his clothes when he lowered his head.
He felt even more annoyed and thirsty. He swallowed subconsciously, but tried to make the sound as soft as possible. He did not want Chu Wanning to hear it.
Mo Ran took a deep breath and forced a smile. He said, "This mirror is so blurry."
"It hasn't been used for too long."
"Shizun, you can't see clearly. Give me the hairband. I'll comb your hair for you."
Chu Wanning bit the snow-blue ribbon. Before he could refuse, Mo Ran held the hairband in his hand. In this case, he could not bite it. He could only let go of it resentfully and let Mo Ran tie his ponytail for him. He pretended to be arrogant and snorted. "Do you know how to do it? If you don't do it well, I'll have to do it again. "
"Shizun, have you forgotten? In the Peach Blossom Spring, I braided your hair. "
Chu Wanning was suddenly speechless. Xia Si was his shameful past. He did not want to mention it again. He closed his eyes and frowned, letting Mo Ran help him comb and tie his hair.
However, Mo Ran's palm kept brushing against his ear. He felt very uncomfortable. His scalp was numb and his throat was slightly thirsty. He frowned even more.
"Why aren't you done yet?"
Mo Ran laughed in a low voice. "You're always so impatient. Don't worry, it'll be done soon. "
His voice seemed to be closer than before. It was just behind his ear. Chu Wanning could not help but clench his hands that were hanging in his sleeves.
He did not know if it was his own misperception, but he kept feeling that Mo Ran's breathing was somewhat heavy. It was the kind of heaviness that a wild beast would have before pouncing on its prey. This made him feel like he was being stared at. He even felt like a tiger or wolf would pounce on him from behind and press him in front of the bronze mirror. It would greedily and hungrily bite his throat and suck the blood gurgling in his veins.
Sometimes, a person's perception was astonishingly accurate. However, Chu Wanning felt it. Because of his inferiority, he did not dare to believe it.
How could he know that if he were to raise his head at this moment, what he would see in the mirror would be Mo Ran's bright and gloomy eyes. Desire and rationality were clashing within them, sparks flying everywhere, and smoke rising everywhere.
Mo Ran held the smooth silk hair band. The clear half of him was controlling his body. He obediently helped Chu Wanning tie his hair. Meanwhile, the dark half of his soul was thinking anxiously.
What was he doing?
Tying the hair band?
But this hair band was clearly tied in the wrong place!
He felt that he should roughly press Chu Wanning down in front of the old and abandoned dressing table. He should use the hair band to tie his eyes. His other hand should wrap around the front of his face and grab his chin. He should kiss him as if he was thirsting for blood. He should press down on him tightly and absorb the sweetness in his mouth. He should suck on the soft tip of his tongue. He should clearly be fiercely rubbing against Chu Wanning's ear and licking the tiny mole behind his ear. He should be heavily panting, sticking close to Chu Wanning's ear and lowering his voice to ask him.
"Chu Wanning, my good Shizun. Why are you hiding that brocaded pouch? "
"Wanning … Wanning … Do you … like me?"
His longing heart felt like it was about to be torn apart. His blood was boiling. His eyes were hot and red.
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