The chapter was too big, so I split it into two parts. Also just saw Deadpool and Wolverine movie. It was fucking awesome!!! What do you guys think of the movie🤔.
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[8:00 AM (Earth Time)], Location: Pentagram City - Lucifer's Castle
Currently, a few hours before Tucker had texted him, Lucifer was peacefully sleeping in his bed; some incoherent words escaped his lips, but nothing that sounded like English.
Lucifer suddenly jolted awake as the bombastic tune of "Entry of the Gladiators" blared from his alarm clock.
"Oh, for the love of..." He groaned, slapping around the nightstand in an attempt to shut it off.
He grabbed a pillow and hurled it at the clock, but it ricocheted off the wall instead. "Dammit!" he cursed, grabbing another pillow, this time managing to hit the snooze button. The room fell silent.
He collapsed back onto his Emperor-sized bed, rubbing his face as his hair fell over his eyes in messy, raven strands.
"Ughhhhhhhhhhh!!!. I don't want to get up, but I need to...but I don't wanna?" he muttered, slowly peeling himself off the bed.
His red feathered wings stretched out as he let out a sleepy yawn, nearly knocking over a lamp. With a flick, he retracted them into his back, rolling his shoulders to get the kinks out.
[Crack!!]
He let out a sigh, "Ho!! That's the stuff right there." Stumbling over a few rubber ducks that squeaked annoyingly underfoot, he made his way to the bathroom.
He stared at himself in the mirror, bleary-eyed and dishevelled, his T-shirt—emblazoned with the words "Let's quack this case!"—wrinkled and stained. "Well, aren't you a sight for sore eyes," he said sarcastically to his reflection, reaching for his golden toothbrush.
Lucifer grabbed his Lucifer-brand toothpaste, squeezing it out aggressively. "Come on, cone on, I know there's a little left inside. Ha-ha!! Gotch Ya!!" he said, as he began brushing his teeth.
Halfway through, he started humming an old Earth tune, but it quickly turned into a yodeling-like melody.
"Yodela, yodele, yodeleyi...HEEE HOo!!!"
He stepped into the shower, letting the hot water wake him up properly. He yodelled a few more bars, feeling a bit better as the water washed away most of his sleepiness.
Then, he felt something underfoot—a small, rubbery shape that slipped out from under him. "What the—?" His foot went out from under him, and he grabbed at the shower curtain in panic, pulling it down with a loud crash as he hit the floor. "Son of a bitch!" he shouted, water still pouring down on him.
[9:00 AM]
Having survived his morning ordeal, Lucifer, now dressed in a pair of black silk pyjamas, made his way to the kitchen. "Nothing like some breakfast art to kickstart my morning," he grinned, cracking his knuckles as he prepared his batter.
He grabbed the pan, heating it with a snap of his fingers, and began pouring out the batter with different batter bottles all different colours.
Each flip of the pancake was a masterpiece—one showed him impaling an angel, and another depicted the Fall of Heaven in intricate detail. He couldn't help but smirk at his work. "Gordon Ramsay, eat your heart out."
Lucifer teleported to the dining room, where a long table awaited him. He set the pancakes down, along with a glass of orange juice and a bottle of syrup.
"Lucy, Lucy Lucy! You truly outdid yourself."
He sat down, ready to dig in when suddenly, a pang of sadness hit him. His face fell, and he clutched the fork, his hand trembling slightly.
[BANG!!!]
"Why did you leave me, Liiiiiiilith?" he wailed, dramatically slamming his head onto the table. Tears streamed down his face, mixing with the syrup. "We could've ruled Hell together, but noooo...sniff~i Misss her so muuuu-hu-huch!!!!"
For the next five minutes, Lucifer, the king of hell, bawled uncontrollably, his cries echoing through the large dining hall.
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[Five minutes later...]
He wiped his face and sat up, taking a deep breath. "Pull it together, man. You're the King of Hell, for crying out loud," he muttered, before diving into his pancakes like nothing had happened.
[9:50 AM]
In his luxurious office, Lucifer next faced the bane of all great leaders—paperwork!!!!
He picked up a quill, staring at the stack as if it were his mortal enemy. "Just sign and stamp, sign and stamp. Easy-peasy," he muttered, trying to psych himself up.
But a few minutes in, and his attention began to wander. His eyes flicked to the wooden kendama on his desk. "One game won't hurt," he told himself, grabbing the toy. He spent the next few minutes trying—and failing—to get the ball on the spike.
"For Hell's sake, this should be easy!" he growled, growing frustrated. When the ball missed the spike yet again, he slammed the toy down in exasperation. "Stupid thing."
Trying to focus again, he grabbed the nearest document. "Let's see, demonic contracts, soul extractions, blah, blah, blah..." He scribbled his signature on the dotted line, barely paying attention to what he was signing.
But then his eyes caught sight of a small stack of photographs tucked away in a drawer.
He pulled them out, his face softening as he looked at the baby pictures of Charlie. "Aww, look at you," he cooed, flipping through the photos. "You were such a cute little hellion."
A goofy grin spread across his face as he reminisced until he realized he was slacking off again. "Get a grip, Lucifer. There's work to be done," he chided himself, putting the photos away. But the damage was done—a twenty-minute job ended up taking over an hour.
[11:00 AM]
Lucifer finally escaped his office and made his way to his sanctuary: the workshop.
The room was packed with shelves upon shelves of rubber ducks, each personally crafted and painted by Lucifer himself. There were ducks in tuxedos, superhero ducks, ducks with mohawks, and even a few ducks that looked suspiciously like certain biblical figures.
"Ah, my little duckies," he said affectionately, running a hand along the shelves. "Let's get to work."
He was particularly excited about his latest creation, a duck he had nicknamed "Cthuck." The eldritch-looking duck was nearly complete, with only a few finishing touches left.
Lucifer carefully drew a demonic symbol on the bottom of the duck, infusing it with both demonic and angelic power. The duck glowed ominously, but Lucifer barely noticed as he turned to search for the tiny googly eyes he had misplaced.
"Where did I put those damn things..." he muttered, rummaging through his cluttered workbench. "I swear if Beelzebub borrowed my things again—"
But before he could finish his thought, 'Cthuck' began to quiver, glowing brighter as it came to life. A low, rumbling voice began to reverberate through the workshop, chanting words that would drive lesser beings insane.
Lucifer spun around, eyes wide. "Oh, hell no," he breathed, realizing what was happening.
Just then, a tentacle shot out from the duck, wrapping around his ankle and yanking him off his feet. "You've got to be kidding me!" he shouted as he was flung across the room, crashing into a shelf of ducks.
[Bang!!! CRACK!!!]
Rubber ducks flew everywhere as Lucifer scrambled to his feet, dodging another tentacle. "All right, you little shit, you wanna play rough? Let's play rough!" He conjured a flaming sword in one hand and a shield in the other, charging at the rogue duck.
"AGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!"
"BLOOD FOR THE OLD ONE!!!"
The battle was fierce, with Lucifer and 'Cthuck exchanging blows that would have levelled literal mountains.
Lucifer managed to hack off a few tentacles, but the duck just kept growing them back, each one more twisted and monstrous than the last.
"This is why I need to stop mixing demonic and angelic magic!" he yelled, narrowly avoiding another swipe. "It never ends well!"
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[1 hour later...]
Finally, after what felt like an eternity, Lucifer managed to slam Cthuck against the workbench, pinning it down with his sword. The duck quivered, letting out a final, gurgling screech before it fell limp.
"TH♡€□, day oF, Reckoning, is Neorrrr!!"
Panting, Lucifer slumped against the bench, his pyjamas torn and his hair a mess. "The Japanese are some sadistic fucks to think this shit was sexy," he muttered, shaking his head as he tried to catch his breath.
He glanced around the wrecked workshop, sighing as he saw the mess he'd have to clean up. "Well, that's tomorrow's problem," he said, deciding he deserved a break.
With a snap of his fingers, he teleported out of the workshop, leaving the carnage behind.
As he reappeared in his bedroom, Lucifer collapsed onto his bed, too exhausted to care about anything else. "I'll deal with it later," he mumbled, closing his eyes and finally allowing himself to have a little nap.
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If we get 100 stones I'll upload the next chapter today...