Capítulo 4017: Chapter 3127: "Romantic" Wedding Season (11)_2

Shiller stared at him for quite a while before Reed touched his face and asked, "Is there a problem?"

"The problem is a big one," Shiller said with a helpless sigh. "What does 'you might be interested in this' mean?"

Reed was also a bit puzzled, saying, "It's just the literal meaning. I feel like Susan would be very interested in shopping."

"And you're not interested?"

"Of course not. I really don't enjoy shopping," Reed spread his hands and said, "I can't tell apart all those fancy luxury brands, and the restaurants in shopping malls aren't good either."

"Then why didn't you just oppose it directly?"

Reed said with confusion, "Didn't I say? She's interested in these things, so we go."

"So why couldn't you just confirm it for her by saying, 'That's a great idea'?"

"Because she's interested, and I'm accompanying her. I'm actually not interested in it myself. I just wanted to tell her the reason I would go."

"Then why did you say it's up to her when she asked for your opinion?"

"But isn't that still going along with her?"

"Then why don't you agree with her?"

"Because I just don't like these things."

"Then why say it's all up to her?"

Reed was getting confounded by Shiller's questioning and spread his hands on the table, saying, "I like Susan, so I think she can decide where we go next. That's why I said it's all up to her. I don't like the places she goes, so I tell her that we are only going because she likes it. What's the problem with that?"

"Of course, there's a problem. Why are you sitting together discussing the location of the date? Because you want to use this date to deepen your feelings for each other. A good date location can make your affection for one another grow faster."

"A date location that allows your feelings to heat up quickly would definitely be one you both like, one that keeps you both in a cheerful mood. With your intelligence, couldn't you figure that out?"

After thinking it over, Reed nodded and said, "Right, that does make sense."

"Since that's the case, the purpose of you sitting together to discuss is to find a date location that you both like. If you're not trying to reach a consensus, then there's no need to sit down and communicate, right?"

Reed thought again and then said, "Indeed, that's true."

"If the goal of communication is to reach consensus, then your every word and action in this conversation were terribly poor."

"First, you say the date location is up to her, which actually expresses that whatever place she chooses, you will like it. But after she makes a choice, you say that actually you don't like the place she's chosen. If you truly don't like it, then why would you initially show her an attitude of 'I support all your choices'?"

Reed touched his temples with his fingers and said, "I just wanted to make her happy."

"I see. So, it seems that your goal in this communication was not to reach a consensus but to make her happy, right?"

Reed nodded.

"Then the first step you took was right. You showed complete respect for her choice, like, 'What you like, I like.' So then, on the second issue, why didn't you continue to indulge her and keep agreeing with her instead of insisting on expressing your own dislike?"

Before Reed could speak, Shiller continued, "Is it because you feel that's the reality? But was the goal of this conversation to discuss reality?"

Reed pursed his lips and kept silent; he had just shifted the goal of the conversation from reaching consensus to making Susan happy.

"I might have gotten a bit confused," Reed said. "But that doesn't mean I'm irresponsible, right? I still plan to go with her."

"Do you think going with her to places you don't like is a compensation for the mistakes in your previous few statements?"

"Er, I might not feel that's a mistake, but if it makes her happy, I am willing to accompany her to those luxury stores and then to those awful restaurants."

"What about the wrong things you said?"

"I might not have realized I said anything wrong at the time. And I think, Susan wouldn't get angry over just a few words."

"She might not this time, but what if one time she does? What will you do then?"

"If she gets angry, I will apologize to her," Reed said. "I'll say, 'I didn't mean to say it like that, I'm very sorry.'"

"That's more like it. And then?"

"Er, what then?"

"That's it?"

"What else?"

Shiller sighed again and said, "You've perfectly demonstrated what a half-hearted apology is."

"Because I think at the time I would have felt very puzzled, not knowing what she was angry about. But if my apology could stop her from being angry, I would do it."

"But that could make her even angrier."

"Why?"

"Because you haven't understood what she's angry about, yet fully understanding your girlfriend's emotions is your responsibility, don't you think?"

"But what if I really can't understand?"

"What if you encountered an insurmountable problem in your scientific research projects?"

After seriously contemplating, Reed said, "I don't think there's a research problem in this world that I can't solve. But if there really were, maybe I'd change my approach, looking at it from another angle to figure it out, or I'd simply dig deeper in my research and thinking. I believe I would eventually understand."

"So why not have that confidence when it comes to matters of the heart?"

"Because in this area, there's so much that I don't understand."

Shiller realized that Reed had another serious issue—his social confidence was terribly low.

Possibly because he had never succeeded socially from a young age, he had no faith in his ability to understand and empathize with others, preferring to resort to the simplest solution.

The so-called simplest solution was to apply formulas: say sorry when someone's angry, tell them not to cry when they're sad, tell them to cheer up when they're depressed, and to calm down when they're too excited.

This kind of formula might work well for individuals with loneliness or Asperger's because they fundamentally can't understand others, and it helps them pretend to be normal.

But Reed was a normal person. He used these formulas because he felt incapable of understanding others, or perhaps thinking understanding was useless, since he would fail socially anyway. It was a kind of social impairment.

Shiller felt this was a severe issue. It would be hard to correct with conventional methods. Establishing social confidence isn't something that happens overnight. But Reed wanted to pursue Susan now.

Shiller paused for a moment, looked around, and then said somewhat conspiratorially, "There are two methods now: one is formal, regular, and reliable, but it's slower. The other is unorthodox. I can't guarantee its safety, but it can offer a fast track. Which would you prefer?"

"Definitely the fast track!"

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