Capítulo 49: Emptiness
Cold bedsheets, cold sweat, and a damp cloth covering his entire body, Kaiden felt it all.
Slowly reaching his hands towards the ceiling, still sinking into the mattress enveloped by the cold bedsheets.
"Is this reality?"
His voice sounded fleeting, despite the good conditions. His gaze, lonely and empty, stared into the distance. His gestures and facial expressions resembling that of a statue, yet tears flowed from his tear ducts.
Again, he repeated to himself, questioning, "Is this reality?"
Taking short pauses while still lying down to gather his thoughts.
"I don't want this anymore…"
Slowly rising, bracing himself on his knees, he looked at the white bed edge with a hunched back.
With his hand on his belt pouch, ready for his shinogie, he sat.
"What should I do…"
With prolonged mental absence, he started staring blankly at the white wall.
"Not even my death ends this cycle," his body lacking any enthusiasm.
"One minute wouldn't hurt," he breathed out lightly, then abruptly let himself fall back into a seated position, closing his eyes, making no sound.
Time passed, his gaze fixed on the darkness.
'I can't even sleep anymore.'
Yet his eyes slowly opened, shifting to the left.
The oceanic-like iris locked onto a figure with brown hair and a dark gray uniform. At first, his eyes remained as they were, reaching for his belt's height.
The shinogi was ready for use, but he hesitated. It was Mark, not Leon.
Speaking his thoughts aloud, "Is this really reality?"
"Yes, it is," Mark replied, not very surprised but with a smile.
The others also entered slowly, each with a smile except for Mary, who seemed as faceless as Kaiden.
"It's been 4 days now, Elly for 2 days, Mary for 1 day, and Mark for about 2 days."
Ren said quieter, adding with a question, "Are you okay?"
Kaiden responded directly, "Yes."
Lying there emotionless, without even turning to face them. He seemed like a talking doll.
Yet the others could partly understand him. Piece by piece, they left him, each expressing care in their own way.
"If anything happens, let us know," they said, leaving Zack last, who glanced at him as he walked away without direct eye contact.
Only the two emotionless ones remained in the room. In the yellow light of the white room, the ruby red eyes stared into the sapphire blue eyes.
"So you have nothing to say?"
Kaiden still lay emotionless in bed.
"I'll take that as a no…"
But apparently, she didn't want to leave. Instead, she sat on the white bed with her grayish uniform, Kaiden still staring into the empty blanket.
If they were visiting their grandparents, one could hear the ticking of the old clock for half an eternity.
Tick tock, tick tock…
After half an eternity, Mary began to tell a story.
„Once upon a time, there was a planet, a small one, newly born, formed from the remains of two other dying planets. Oblivious, like a baby, it floated in nothingness. It grew older, and thus a bit bigger, millions of years passed without seeing anything except for a few small debris flying past and a distant big planet, which never spoke to him or even looked at him. He felt lonely, being alone for so long. Eventually, anger consumed him, and he set out. He tried to defy his fate, to go towards the big planet. Millions more passed. He wondered why the planet never even turned towards him. Was he so irrelevant? His anger grew, and more years passed, losing sight of his true purpose. Eventually, he succeeded. But his anger turned into regret. The distant big planet was full of craters, shattered and lifeless. But what was truly regrettable was that upon closer inspection, he saw the resemblance of the deceased planet to himself."
Kaiden lay motionless, while Mary looked at him emotionlessly, a certain sadness enveloping her lips and eyes.
"My sister used to tell me this story before bedtime…"
Mary continued, "She was my everything…"
Despite a tear rolling down her snow-white cheek, she surprisingly maintained her cold demeanor, with a faint warm smile.
For the first time, Kaiden looked at her, taken aback.
"Was she always like this?"
Mary waited for Kaiden's words, which followed with still an emotionless face.
"Your sister… She must have been a great person."
"She was… I had to watch her burn right before my eyes. Her flesh in my nose and her screams in my ears… In the future as well as in the present without being able to do anything about it…"
However, she digressed from the topic, still looking melancholic towards the window.
"But I don't want to dredge up my past. I'd rather lift the mood."
Obviously, it helped. Kaiden, who had been lying in the somewhat warmer bedsheet all this time, gradually sat up, making eye contact with Mary.
His eyes as empty as his soul.
"You must have been through a lot," he stretched his arm towards Mary, surprising even her, followed by a hug.
Kaiden sought redemption and a sense of fulfillment.
Was it the exotic scent? Her boldness? Her words?
One thing he was sure of, despite feeling empty inside, he felt somewhat better.
"Thank you," he whispered softly into Mary's ear.
She only wrapped her arms around Kaiden's body with a slight smile on her cheeks.
"No problem…"
Kaiden's thoughts wandered, but they didn't really go anywhere.
He felt no desire, no love, no sadness, no anger, no happiness, or anything at all.
In his mind, there was only one word, one goal, and that was money.
'I need money! Money! Money!'
His thoughts grew louder.
'And if it's worth less, then I'll just slaughter more! A few million of them, and we'll be millionaires!'
Another pause in his thoughts, still embracing Mary.
'My brother and I! We'll be richer than anyone else!'
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