Capítulo 29: Melting Heart
It is nice that cooking is one of those skills that's ingrained into muscles and instincts.
Like fighting. The more you do it, the better you get at it.
In my previous life, to pay for Lana and my studies, we struggled quite a bit by taking part-time jobs and studying at the same time. After we moved in together, it was even more difficult to pay rent, but life was wonderful as long as we had each other; we coped.
She took many jobs as a waitress or barman, while I worked mostly in restaurants. I acquired an assortment of skills, like de-skinning fish, ox, and lamb. Cooking and cleaning… all of that is ingrained in my muscles and made me quite meticulous when it came to those aspects.
One of my favourite jobs was in an Italian restaurant, where I began as a floor cleaner. I looked at chefs daily and eventually learned how to make a simple Italian risotto. I used to prepare it at home and carry it to the restaurant, where I would show it to the head chef over and over, failing every time until I got it right. I learned a few dishes with trial and error, and that's how I got promoted from cleaner to chef.
I worked in that restaurant for many years, and eventually, Lana joined me. These were happy moments of my previous life—feelings I can now hardly even recall.
"Here you go".
"…"
I prepared Crab and saffron Risotto for Emma. I picked up one of Veronica's expensive red wines from the cupboard and served her a cup. Emma had been staring at me from the table throughout the whole process; the house smelled exquisite, and I closed the door to Veronica's bedroom, hoping the scent of risotto wouldn't wake her up with hunger.
Before that, I had prepared a single rose in the middle of the table to make things a bit... romantic, as much as a single rose could accomplish. Then I sat down in front of her, served a cup of wine for myself and awaited.
Emma picked up her utensils like a princess and started to eat. There wasn't much of a reaction from her throughout the whole process, but fifteen minutes later, she finished her plate… all of it.
"More…"
I smiled and picked up her plate and served her another batch.
The blonde princess ate silently, occasionally sipping on her wine with her eyes closed as if she wanted to enjoy the taste of the sea salt with grand intensity.
I wondered what was going through her mind as she did so. Is she enjoying it? Is it trash compared to what she has already had in those Michelin restaurants in Manhattan? Or perhaps Europe would be more exquisite? Roma, Geneve, Paris, and London? I don't know.
Because we have lived completely different lives.
**
**
Munch by munch... I resisted the primal urge to tear up. It's delicious… it's exquisite… it is not perfect by any means, but it is mine.
I can't smile now, or he will not know my happiness. It will get up his head; he will realise he can become someone irreplaceable for me, that he can be my weakness.
I've never had a man cook for me exclusively like this, especially if that's a man I'm attracted to. In fact… when was the last time someone cooked me a meal at home? For years, all I've known is expensive restaurants. Every single day, thousands of dollars are spent in the most flamboyant of places and yet... why does this feel so unique? This smell in the air, the silhouette of him cooking exclusively for me... a single lonely thorny rose on the table.
Did he know that's how lonely I feel? Is that what he's trying to tell me?
I took a piece of crab and bitten it.
It exploded with myriad flavours in my mouth, with the love in it being the primary flavour.
It was not a five-star meal by any means; I've had better Risottos in Milan and even here in New York. But this one is mine; he made it for me, cooked it while he thought of me… it is not a dish anyone with two thousand dollars can get in Manhattan; millions fit the bill.
Is that Michelin restaurant exclusive when hundreds of thousands enter it every year? I don't think so.
But this, this is priceless. Its value can't be gauged with money; he wouldn't put so much love into it if somebody came and offered two thousand dollars for it.
His thumb rubbed my right eye, stopping a tear I didn't even know was about to leak. When my eyes opened, he was still there looking at me. He's been there the whole time. I have been here trying to decipher your thoughts: do you like me or not?
How ridiculous… I lectured Jean about why feelings are stupid and unimportant and how family and friends are meaningless. How much I have suffered and been humiliated to the point I never cared about those things. And now you have me here… feeling warmth and realising that I'm falling for you.
All you have is that cheeky smile; it pisses me off... Do you think because I cried, now you have me in the bag? well then, you're right.
You had my body and mind in the bag, and now you have my heart in the bag. Does that make you happy? What do you feel? Let me read it! Why can't I read your mind? It is so annoying every time I try. That darkness—that void—stops me.
Are you a good person or a bad person… do you like me or Jean?
Are you a player?
Why is there so much darkness and emptiness? What do you feel most of the time?
Why do you always send mixed signals?
Ray Stark, let me read your mind.
**
**
"All that calling Jean a chubby ginger and look at you. You had all of it" I laughed and cleaned the dishes. It is safe to say this mission was a success; who could have thought? She even cried.
Guess there is a fragile side to everyone in this world.
"If I don't eat all of it, you and Veronica will reheat it tomorrow. You made it for me, so it's mine; I'm not sharing" She sat on the table, having her fourth cup of wine.
"Yeah, yeah, it's yours~ how was it?".
"It's the best Risotto I have eaten in my life!~" She said joyfully.
"You're lying..." I scoffed, and someone like her, who has been worldwide, said there was no way I was even close to the top of what she had tasted. I'm just a part-timer who happens to be a good cook.
"Yeah, that was a lie... it is not the most delicious I've had, Ray. But it is the one that has made me the happiest. Thank you".
That sounded more genuine. I turned around to look at her, and her blue eyes gave me a look that nearly paralized my heart. She was quite captivating with those flushed cheeks.
"You're welcome; sorry for leaving you and Jean earlier".
"Did you go somewhere with Annie after that?".
I turned around again. Her gaze had no poison; it was just a casual question.
"We did go to a restaurant to have something, as neither of us had lunch before going to that place; I didn't want her to be back home hungry. That place you chose to train was also quite far from Brooklyn".
"Did something interesting happen?" She asked again, neutrally.
"She sat on my legs, I fed her, and she fed me too".
"How romantic. I'm surprised you can be so shameless and honest".
"Is that something to be shameless about? Does it make you angry?" I turned around this time. She downed her cup and sighed.
"I don't care, honestly. Do whatever you want... as long as you're there for me whenever I need you. Just don't lie to me; I don't like it".
I laughed and got back to my cleaning. "You have some weird relationship stereotypes in your mind," I said.
"I've never had a normal relationship, and at this stage... I don't wish to have one either" She stood up and staggered.
"Ugh, It's been so long since I ate a belly-full meal. I thought you said you didn't know anything about exquisite cuisine. That time, we went to the restaurant in Manhattan, and you didn't know the names of those dishes!"
"Well, I don't know much. I only know a handful of Italian dishes that I used to cook for in a restaurant I worked in. I don't know most European widely-known dishes, especially French dishes, which that restaurant served the most".
"You worked in a restaurant?" Emma frowned, and I flinched; it came out of me quite naturally that I forgot—it was not this life.
"I used to; I stopped it now since I'm a Millionaire~".
"I imagine..."
She hugged me from behind before I finished cleaning everything.
"Leave that and hug me..."
I smelled her perfume up close, removed my gloves, turned around and hugged her tight against my body. Emma snuggled against me, her hands running along my chest, waist and back.
"Thanks for the meal~"
"... you're wel-"
"Not that meal".
Her head retreated slightly like taking momentum before she accelerated again, plastering her lips on mine. My eyes opened widely at how tasty her lips were; she tiptoed and forced them further against me, wrapping her arms around my neck.
Muscle and instinct... my lips activated a counterattack; I embraced her thin waist and pulled her against my body.
Reckless passion was the message she conveyed to me with that kiss. Her tongue snuck inside, and I was ready to receive it. We exchanged saliva, our tongues entwined... I always had my eyes closed, unaware of whether she was the same. Before I noticed, her hands had already snuck inside my shirt.
And before I noticed, mine were already inside her skirt.
Muscle and instinct.
"This meal," she pecked my lips after that mind-blowing kiss. You're such a good kisser, Ray... better than I expected."
"How far do you want to take this?" I asked her, licking her neck, enjoying the feeling of her massive round butt. She was sexy enough to wear a T-back and expect me to keep my composure.
I think we both needed this.
"I don't know, Ray. Right now, I feel so tired, I just want to sleep... hug me like a bear all night and kiss me until I fall asleep; that's what I want."
I carried her like a princess towards my bedroom, and she kissed me all the way like she had wandered in the desert for years and was thirsty for love and attention.
I switched off the lights, put her on the bed and got on top. Her arms opened widely, welcoming me.
"Come~"
For a second, I saw Lana spreading her arms widely and accepting everything that I was. But that would have been unfair to her.
"Emma..."
"What is it?"
"Nothing... I just wanted to say your name" I collapsed on top of her and kissed her harder; she embraced me and pulled me in. We covered ourselves in a blanket and slowly but surely began discarding those annoying garments.
I felt her perfect body the way she came to the world; I could not see it, but I felt every inch of it.
She felt me up, too, and laughed as I tickled her. We played around and kissed until I saved the sweet wine-like taste of her saliva in my deep memories... before I noticed I fell into a deep slumber.
It was the first time ever since I arrived in this world... that I didn't pretend to sleep.
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