Capítulo 102: To Live And Laugh 1
*Beep… Beep… Beep… Beep*
I wonder if the nurse is going to come in today to fix the monitor.
The heart rate isn't the same.
*Beep… Beep… Beep*
Yeah, I can't stop watching. It's fun to see the line go up and down, but it's hard to be entertained in a place like this.
I pull my eyes downward, looking across the sterile white room, and wonder how many days I've been here. It definitely feels like decades have gone by.
The worst thing is that I have the worst itch that I just can't scratch. Gotta love not having use of my hands or arms.
*Beep… Beep… Beep*
I wonder if I'll get Jell-O again today. It's definitely been long enough, right?
I take a deep breath from the machine, feeling the cold air rush into my lungs, and sigh in relief, at least until the pain returns.
When I was younger, I remember being able to see more than just white. But I can't remember the last time I walked on my own two feet.
When was the last time I had anyone visit me?
*Beep… Beep… Beep… Beep*
It's so cold. Did they forget to pay for the heating again? I look to my right and see some of the lights beginning to dim along the walls.
Then they begin to flicker on and off, on and off.
Until eventually, I'm in complete and utter darkness. I feel the breathing apparatus lose power, and soon enough, a crushing sensation in my chest follows.
I feel blood rushing up my throat. I begin to wheeze and choke on my own blood. It hurts so much, but I can't even find the strength to yell.
Not that anyone would be listening. I think the entire building has lost power. Soon enough, the lack of oxygen reaches my brain, and I begin to lose consciousness.
Yet it feels as though I am experiencing all the pain at once, like a flame going off in my head.
But in this moment, all I can hope is that where I'm going, they've got some good Jell-O. And right as I lose consciousness, I see the lights turn back on, and people begin to enter the room, but slowly.
One of them injects me with some kind of liquid and I feel ever so…tired…
Ah, I see now…
*BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP*
---
It's so quiet.
I don't think I like that.
The feeling of this place is just off. It doesn't help that I am seemingly laying on nothing right now.
I also don't feel any pain anymore—so benefits, I guess… so what do I do now?
For a few moments, I try to lift some parts of my arms, but I can't seem to move them, so I pull myself forward using my chin, writhing on the ground. If anyone else were watching me, they'd think I was trying to do a terrible version of the worm.
The thought brings a small amount of humor to the situation, so as I crawl through what seems like an infinite void, I am suddenly met with a giant blast of light, and I find myself somewhere else.
I'm currently lying on my stomach, so I can't see above me, but I can feel the grass beneath me, and it feels like the comfiest thing I have ever laid on.
As I place my head on the ground, I simply lie there, mostly assuming I'll be devoured by some type of animal soon enough.
Before that can happen, however, I begin to hear footsteps, and soon enough, a man with no shoes walks up to me.
"Hello there, friend," the man says as he seemingly summons a chair from nowhere and sits down.
"You look like you could use some help… pardon me, I'm forgetting my manners here. It's been a while since I talked to a normal person. I'm Emilio. You, my friend, may refer to me as Young Master."
"OK." It seems my one-word response is underwhelming as all I get in return is silence.
"Oh shit, I forgot you haven't talked to someone in a long time. Well, to make it simple for you, I am what people refer to as a ROB or Random Omnipotent Being—"
"So you're God?"
"No, I am definitely not the G. That job goes to someone much more powerful than even me."
"But how can you be omnipotent if you're not God?"
"Well, now we're just getting into metaphysics. The best way to describe it is that you can do nearly anything, and the only way to really describe it is as omnipotence. For example, I could summon anything I want if I just wanted it to appear." He summons another chair behind me, and as he grabs me by my sides, I prepare to feel immense pain, but I feel nothing.
"Surprised? You don't actually have a body right now, so you're not able to feel pain." Well, that's comforting as he positions me in the chair. Someone else proceeds to teleport behind him.
"Are you messing with mortals again? Remember the last time you did that, our resident angel almost had your head for it." The self-proclaimed omnipotent being simply scoffs as if recalling a funny joke.
"No, me and him are cool. It's nice to see you again, honey. How can I help my wonderfully beautiful and amazing wife today?" As he asks the question, I see a smile larger than anything I've ever seen before, but the woman seems unconvinced as she simply smacks him over the head, causing him to do multiple flips in the chair but then land perfectly upright.
"You're not getting out of this one so easily. I'm so sorry, young one. He likes to mess with people." In return, I simply smile, chuckling to myself at their banter.
"It's fine. It's just nice to talk to people again. If I could be a bit rude, where exactly am I?" The woman then places her hand on the ground and summons what looks to be a giant couch made of leaves.
"Well, young one, you are in the realm beyond reality. I assume my husband here summoned you for a reason." She then sends the man next to her a slight glare, but he laughs it off and kisses her on the cheek, to which she turns around.
They seem to be very nice friends.
The man then turns back to me. "Well, you see, my friend? I am here to offer you a deal."
"What kind of deal?"
"One that can change your life—or afterlife, in this case." He summons a small piece of paper and hands it to me.
"You see, my fellow patriot decided to start what is called a Jump Chain for a fellow mortal like yourself, and so this Young Master has decided to grace you with the same honor. But you're going to be my representative. Feeling honored yet?" The woman next to him proceeds to groan in frustration as well as amusement, but as she looks at me, there is a kindness in her eyes that makes me feel nice.
"I accept."
"I can understand if you're hesitant—repeat that?"
"I accept the deal." To my surprise, the man seems flabbergasted, which is kind of funny because he somehow manages to cartoonishly have his mouth open way wider than anything I've seen before.
But in not even a couple of seconds, he seems to regain his composure as he closes his mouth and smiles so brightly I feel as if I'm going to be blinded as a ghost.
"Well, that is amazing. I do enjoy dealing with people with a spine and no sense of danger." I can't tell if that's a compliment or an insult.
As I take the paper, he pulls me close and starts whispering, as if trying to keep what he's going to say a secret from the person next to us who is watching him with a very scathing look.
"You see, my friend, I'm kind of jealous. My own creation thinks that he can one-up me, the original! The nerve, I swear! But since you have agreed, let's go over what you're going to be gaining from the deal."
"Am I going to be able to walk? Am I going to be able to eat good food?" The questions are met with silence, then the woman approaches and places her arms around me. I wish I could return it, but I don't know how to move my arms.
She soon pulls away but lifts my chin to meet her eyes.
"All that and more, mortal. You'll be able to have whatever you want. I promise, and a Goddess of Life does not break her promises." She then smiles and sits next to me.
The Young Master, who had previously been looking off in the distance, snaps his fingers, but nothing seems to happen. His wife, however, shakes her head in almost disappointment.
But before I can ask what he did, I begin to read through the sheet or contract.
Honestly, it is actually very simple, and even I, who wasn't even very educated, could understand it, but I assume that's more due to his powers over reality than my own understanding of syntax.
"So you just want me to represent you in this Jump Chain?" The question is met with a nod.
"You are goddamn right, my friend. I'm not one of those devil-in-the-detail type guys." As he sits back down in his chair, I continue to look over the contract.
"Am I going to need to fight this person that's on the other chain?" He immediately shakes his head.
"No, we're not into pitting strong people against one another, at least not one of our own. Besides, he's busy with his own thing, trying to find himself and the meaning of life, etc., etc. Honestly, it's a bit depressing." The meaning behind the words, I don't really follow, but I nod my head.
"Well, since you're with me, I like to do things a bit differently. You're gonna get all the perks, but to make this a bit more fun, I'm going to be the one making the builds. Adds a bit of suspense to the journey." A small part of me is slightly worried that he's going to pull a fast one on me, but I don't think he would need to.
"You're right about that. If I wanna mess with someone, I'll just head over to one of my least favorite worlds and troll some of the villains. I still remember the face when I turned all of Dr. Doom's equipment pink. Oh, the look on his face was priceless." I hand him back the contract as he rolls it up and it soon disappears.
He then summons two vials, both of them shining in an iridescent light, and as he hands them to his wife, she slowly opens my mouth and pours them very slowly down my throat. The gentleness is something I'm not entirely used to, and as I finish drinking from the two small containers, I don't feel any different—just tired.
As my eyes begin to grow heavy, I look at the two and smile with all the happiness I can muster.
"Thanks." The man simply places a hand on my head.
"Don't mention it, and don't worry—you're gonna have a fun time. And we're both winning from this too because you're gonna be fulfilling a bit of a dream of mine." Before I can ask him what that dream is, I fade into unconsciousness.
I wonder what he means?
---
"What did you do to him, husband?" the Goddess of Life asks with a bit of an edge in her voice.
The man simply sits in his chair and whistles away, completely innocent.
"Well, you know how I originally wanted to have a harem, but you kind of convinced me otherwise." The woman then stands and begins to approach menacingly.
"What did you do?" Her power grows ever so steadily, causing the entire realm to darken and then shake.
The man, seemingly unbothered by the level of power, smiles with the biggest grin the universe could ever see. "Well, you see, I may have infused him with the harem protagonist energy of a combination of Basara Tojou, Issei Hyoudou, Solomon, and a couple of others. What could go wrong?"
The woman's eye begins to twitch, and then she takes multiple deep breaths. The world around them stops shaking as she sits down and simply groans in complete and utter annoyance.
"I'm going to have to tell Anakim to section off the Multiverse that you just sent him to. We can't have a memetic harem protagonist on the loose. What world did you send him to? I hope at least he's going to live. The boy was pitiful, and if he said no, I might've just kept him here." The man simply starts laughing, just imagining the amount of paperwork that his angelic friend is going to have to deal with.
Serves him right for trying to get one over on the original.
"Well, my wonderful and beautiful wife, I sent him to a world that was in dire need of his services. And he's going to be caught up in a bit of a hero summoning type situation." The statement is met with utter and complete shock from the woman.
"You sent him to Triana?!! Husband, that is a death sentence if you sent him into a timeline where the chosen one doesn't exist…" But in an instant, the man is next to his wife, calming her.
"Don't worry. Why would I send him without the necessary perks that he needs? And besides, I see this as an absolute win. He gets to go enjoy a new life, and I get to have something fun to watch. Besides, the gods there aren't overly malicious. I think they'll be fine." The woman simply takes a deep breath, and she looks off into the distance, seeing the child's soul begin to form a body once more.
She then sends a bit of energy into the child and hopes that he may have a bright future.
---
"Welcome, heroes. I thank you for coming," a voice says, but before she can continue, she notices there are four people.
As the other three begin to look around, confused, they then notice what looks to be a teenager lying flat on the ground.
The teenager on the ground, who looks barely thicker than two small wooden planks, looks up and sees everyone else staring at him. He follows the only advice he can remember.
Smile and wave.
---
(Well, my friends, we've got ourselves a new snippet and a new jumper at that. This one's going to be a lot more laid-back as well as a bit ridiculous. If any of you guys are confused, he is going through a Jump Chain, but slightly different: instead of having a normal warehouse, he was given a nerfed variant of Essence of the Home, and the other vial allows him to create his own Jump Chains once he gains his spark. Oh, and also, I recommend you all read the builds I'm going to be posting for the next chapter.)
(Also do not take this seriously. It's harem garbage after all.)
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