Capítulo 21: Solace
Marcus grit his teeth because he could imagine that sick freak, James, probably planned all this, and he was probably getting a good laugh out of all this right about now.
He'd make sure to repay him and Geralt tenfold the next time they met.
Beatrice didn't stop crying for awhile and Marcus didn't stop her either. In a way, they were the same.
It took Marcus awhile to figure this out but after observing the woman's mannerisms and actions he could see that she was suffering just like him.
Like him, she'd been separated from her loved ones.
Like him, she'd been forced into slavery.
And like him, she was stuck in this hell, desperately trying to escape.
The only difference Marcus could point out between the two of them was that this woman bared no grudges against her husband for dying and leaving her alone. She only grieved his death. She didn't hate her children for not being here in her time of need. She only missed them.
Beatrice didn't hold a grudge against her family like he did.
It was only this difference that separated him from her, and Marcus was conflicted by this because he couldn't understand how she could feel such emotions for people who, in a way, had left her behind.
Sure, her husband had saved her from an untimely death, but this had only delayed the inevitable. Now she was left alone to fend for herself against that savage beast. Had he really saved her, or had he instead condemned her to a lonelier and more painful death. Dying alone was one thing, but dying whilst witnessing your loved one mauled and being eaten alive had to have hurt even more.
Marcus wasn't sure about her children, but he didn't find them free of fault for not being here to comfort their mother in her time of need.
Marcus's thoughts were all skewed and hypocritical, but he couldn't see that right now. He was only trying to understand the emotions the woman was feeling and why. Why was she not upset at them, even a little bit.
'He left you, but you grieve his death?'
'Your children aren't even here to console you in your time of need but you wore an expression of yearning at the mention of your son?'
'Why? Why are you worried about people who aren't even here for you?'
It had to be remembered that mana effected not only hair and eye color, but feelings and emotions as well. Not to mention, the numerous 'experiences' Marcus had to put up with to this point had taken a heavy toll on his mental health.
He was stressed and confused and he didn't know who to blame. Nor did he have someone he could readily rely on. So, he blamed those around him and even those who weren't. Marcus didn't know it yet, but this woman's feelings and emotions were steadily influencing his own, for better or worse.
His master merely observed this, from wherever he was, and chose not to utter a word, letting Marcus's thoughts flourish on their own. The power he bestowed Marcus with was dangerous if one couldn't keep their emotions in check. Instead of it being a extremely powerful ability to the one who had it, it could become a horrible determent to its wielder
Eventually, Beatrice stopped crying and wiped the tears from her face. She looked towards Marcus who had a confused and anxious expression on his face.
Beatrice instantly felt ashamed because she thought she had caused Marcus to feel this way. In that regard, she was correct but not for the reasons she was thinking. She assumed he was feeling sorry for her and confused because the one who should be crying and consoled was him and not her.
'What kind of adult am I if I always break down and cry in front of a child?'
Beatrice scooted beside Marcus and embraced him in a hug. Marcus was caught off guard by the outward display of affection and didn't know what to do, but instead of him being the one to speak about it, it was Beatrice who spoke first.
"I'm sorry for crying so much. It isn't me who should be breaking down like this and looking for consolement," the woman spoke in a motherly tone. "I'm sure you've been through much worse and hear I am whining about my own struggles. That must have upset you, and for that I am sorry."
Marcus couldn't force any words out. She had been right when she said he'd been through a lot, but that didn't make what she had to go through any less painful. Shouldn't this woman be more selfish? Marcus couldn't wrap his head around this woman.
Eventually, his arms which were hanging limply to the side, reached up and wrapped around Beatrice. Marcus hugged her back, and he didn't know why he did it. It could have been to comfort the woman for losing her husband, or it could have been for himself. Right now, it didn't matter much to Marcus. He just felt like it was the right thing to do, so he did it.
Beatrice didn't know her conjectures about Marcus's thoughts were incorrect, but she did know he was hurting. Before long, she felt tiny droplets of water on her shoulder and it surprised her slightly at first.
'Since I've met this child I've yet to see him cry. I wonder how long it's been since he's done this and what could have caused him to bottle up such emotions for so long?'
She didn't know what the boy had been through but she guessed it had been a long time since he had a shoulder to lean on, so she provided him with one. Beatrice and Marcus didn't make a sound and only sat there embracing each other to help fill the void that had been left in both their hearts, if but only for a moment.
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