Capítulo 2: Chapter two[Community life]
CHAPTER Two: [Community Life]
Daniele began her community life as a member of an international religious order of sisters.
To become a professing religious nun, she must go through several stages of training and formation.
She initially feels like she's floating in the clouds because she has that sense of peace and tranquillity
free of all chaotic disturbances and troubles. Her family is unaware of her decisions.
She is the sisters' favorite because of her good qualities and desires to become a nun.
As the days, weeks, and months pass, she witnesses some old candidates imposing restrictions
on new candidates that she alone created without the sister's knowledge.
She understands the importance of appreciating each other's differences.
But she can't be at ease because her group is being discriminated against for her slower rate
of catching up to rules and regulations, but she finds her members very humble to comply.
After a year, the superiors decided to test their ability to deal with
different people by exposing them to the opposite sex.
Daniele appears to be having difficulty dealing with the neighborhood seminarians.
They are an international group from all over the world.
“They are all attractive and friendly.”
She muses,
Daniele never dares and is always oblivious to men.
She sees them looking at her frequently, and when she smiles.
She becomes aware of her body. She doesn't dress fashionably to draw their attention,
but her friends teased her by stating,
"Look at your shabby, worn-out skirt. You dare not stitch the pocket. It already has holes."
"Screw that! I'll let it get worn out so I can wear my other brand-new skirts and discard this.”
The group stops criticizing Daniele's clothing choices after discovering
how many lovely outfits she has organized in her wardrobe, Daniele reveals.
Later, she discovers that she has lost her sense of professionalism and
has transformed into a servant, constantly cleaning the chapel and the grounds. She occasionally has to perform
clerical duties and lead bible studies in isolated locations.
"You're worn out. Sister superior advises you to take a little nap.”
“If serving the Lord makes me fatigued, that is my joy!"
Daniele answers with a smile despite the uneasy expression on her face.
"Living in a community is not difficult, but occasionally
I discover something about myself at community events."
She muses further.
"Why am I going through this? I am not at all like I was when I was outside the convent.
I've never before experienced jealousy. My friends are my closest friends,
thus I feel envious of them.
Even though I am a psychiatrist, insecurities continue to plague me.
I go through a variety of emotions, which is possibly due to new training that differs
from the instruction I received from my parents and the schools.”
She continues to diligently clean the comfort room while washing her filthy clothing.
“There is a new group here. The more senior members couldn't make it through the training sessions.
She is the only member of the preceding group still alive.
Because they are all from the southern region,
the new group members are significantly different from the previous ones.
Others hail from Germany, Italy, India, and other nations.”
The superiors reported.
Daniele is the top candidate to be trained in leadership,
according to a report that the sister superior submitted to the general.
They have all had romantic and intimate experiences with people of the opposite sex.
Daniele is the focus of attention because of her history as a pure and innocent person,
but she is also a psychiatrist.
They all hold her position in high regard. However, she is envious of being left alone.
She was always a favorite of those who came to the convent, especially the priests, nuns, and seminarians.
Since then, she has felt isolated from her group. She is no longer content.
Her superior notices that she is an unhappy loner.
"Perhaps you need someone to talk to," suggests Mother Superior.
"I'm just glad to be alone sometimes, Mother Superior,"
Daniele responds. One of the plantation workers is taken with Daniele,
and he always smiles at her when they meet at the mother's house where they sleep.
The European has brought his adorable 2-year-old child.
Daniele greeted them because she adores children. Her superior takes notice of her.
"Perhaps you'll be a good mother!"Exclaims the superior as she tries to explain all of her actions and behavior.
They wanted to make sure Daniele truly has a calling to be a nun.
"You know, Daniele, our congregation is a European foundation and we're Westernized.
We're open and broad-minded. If we see you inclined to our community life,
we're all very happy, but if you're enjoying other alternatives than being a religious nun,
perhaps you started to reflect on it. God wanted you to be happy and we do,"
the superior says as she gazes and tries to scan her all the way.
"Kissing on the lips with a boyfriend is a very nice experience; why didn't you try it?"
she chuckles as she expresses it to Daniele, whose eyes stretch widen as she looks at her.
She smiles and inquires.
"Why, did you have a boyfriend before coming here?" Daniele wonders.
"Of course, I nearly married because I adore my boyfriend," she explains.
"But why did you leave him?"
Daniele asks, her gaze fixed on her and her attention drawn away from her studies.
"I also don't know the answers' just realizing I wanted to be a nun.
My boyfriend cries when I leave him, He kissed my lips and hugged me so tightly.
We had a date before I came," she continues.
"But when Mother Superior sent me a message, she just asks me,
'How are you, Connie?'
Then I quickly escape and run away from him.
I said, I'm so sorry but I wanted to go back to where I belong.
We're not meant for each other!" Connie explains, laughing,
but Daniele notices her eyes well up with tears.
Daniele understands her motivations.
She remains silent, but she has been staring at Connie since she revealed her secret.
They must all make plans to sing as choirs in the Parish church one day.
Carol, a Filipina from the south, and Connie are both excellent guitarists.
Connie is a nice person with a weak personality.
Carol is assertive and takes the lead in the singing Choir group.
They are always arguing about playing and accompanying guitars with the choir group.
Even outside the group as they stroll down the freezing white thick snow around the meadows.
Daniele appears to be contemplating their actions and is dissatisfied with both girls.
Months later, their work assignment is rotated.
Daniele is in charge of the Formation house in the morning,
washes the dishes in the kitchen before lunch, and wraps gifts in the afternoon before Language lessons.
The man kept paying her visits in the kitchen.
Some of the kitchen staff appear ruthless to Daniele
because they see her as nothing more than a dishwasher while they are the head of the kitchen.
However, the man who always greets her in the formation house defended her
and mentioned how well she works and looks after the house.
"She has the potential to be a good mother to my children."
He spoke. Daniele took one look at him and began to avoid him.
However, when she was assigned to look after the flowering garden.
He found her walking alone under those tall pine trees after she went a little further.
He pulled over and invited her to get in so she could get home faster.
The Indian candidate noticed her with the man and made-up stories about their relationship.
Daniele laughed, but the sisters take it seriously as evidence that she is truly interested in the convent life.
Daniele can sing well during the Christmas season.
Some elderly Europeans in the Home for the Aged give her a dollar as she sings Christmas carols.
Daniele appears to the elderly as a small girl who brings them joy and pleasure.
Daniele appears to be like them. If she decides to leave the convent, one elderly
couple would like to adopt her.
"If you want, you can stay in our house in Italy," they recommend.
Daniele, on the other hand, has no intention of quitting her job.
It is time for them to go on apostolic missions in various parts of Rome.
Daniele is assigned to work with the Candidates for Novitiate
in a faraway land with the other Candidates.
She's Sister Superior's favorite.
She has companions who look pitiful because no one dares to speak to her or pay attention to her.
She is, however, hard-working and quiet.
She exhibits some ignorant behaviors at times.
Daniele tries to adjust her mental capacity and upbringing.
She tries to befriend her although she is a bit gossipy.
"She can change and grow later," Daniele said as he watched her rest on the terraces.
Daniele has a solo rest day one day. But she enjoys setting the table for lunch.
Inside the dining room, her companion caught her doing it. She chastised Daniele.
"Why are you here? This is my job, and you should not be doing it."
Daniele is shocked because her companion is angry, according to the Candidate.
"Why are you upset with me? I just want to help," Daniele explained.
"Get out of here!"
Exclaimed Daniele's companion as she took the bread knife and pointed it at her.
Daniele lifted the chair to shield herself from her attacker.
Daniele shoves her up against a wall.
Then she dashed outside to the chapel to begin her morning prayer.
Her companion, however, follows her and grabs Daniele's neck until she gasps for air.
Uncontrollably, Daniele yells,
"You bastard leave me alone!"
and pushes her till her hands are free from Daniele's neck.
“You are a bad girl, so stop praying because God will not listen to you! "
Her companion retorted.
Daniele mocks her, saying,
"You liar, daughter of the devil, get out!"
Her companion, however, continues to attack her.
"Ah, it's pointless to fight against you!"
Daniele exclaims as she dispatches her.
She rushes to the office, leaving her companion inside the chapel.
"Sister, my companion is attacking me inside the Chapel!" Daniele exclaimed, her voice trembling.
"What? I don't understand what you're saying; could you speak to me in Italian?"
Suggests the office's in-charge sister.
Daniele is in pain and unable to communicate effectively in Italian.
The Sisters are baffled by her. She simply cries and remains silent.
Daniele is having a conversation with her superiors.
They worked hard to figure out what was causing their disagreement.
"It's okay, Sister, Mother Superior; it's already passed; I can handle it!" Daniele says.
Daniele decided to close the issues until they returned to their formation house,
which is not helpful to the authority in charge of their formations.
"We're no longer children fighting over a spilled glass of milk on the floor."
Daniele explains to her mother in charge.
"I'm no longer happy with the situation here, Mother! But I wanted to persevere until the end,"
Daniele says.
"However, you must integrate and grow with others," the Superior advises.
"It will come!" says Daniele.
"Give me reasons to be happy while I see injustice and oppression here," Daniele asks.
One seminarian approaches Daniele a few days later. Brother Andrei proposed,
"If you leave here, I'll take care of you; I'll leave the seminary, and we'll get married, Daniele."
"No, Brother Andrei, it's not a good idea for you to leave the priesthood just to save me;
I can leave here but not marry you," Daniele responds.
"You're such a nice person, but it's not enough reason to leave and to marry you!"
Daniele says as she groans to a halt.
When Brother Andrei approaches, she appears to be pacified and calm.
"But if we're truly meant for each other, God will make a way for us to meet again at a different time and place,"
Daniele says.
"Don't forget, my name is David Andrei Richardson,"
he says quickly, and he walks away so that no one else overhears their private conversation.
"Your flight is scheduled for early afternoon, Daniele; you should pack up!"
Sister Superior reminded.
"What's the matter, Sister Superior? Do I go here?" Daniele asks.
"You must return to your own country immediately!" said the sister superior.
"Can you give me enough reasons why I should go?" Daniele inquires terrified.
"No explanations," the superior declares arrogantly.
"But they decided you should pack up and your schedule is ready."
Daniele is in serious trouble. She weeps silently while she cleans the chapel upstairs asking God,
"What have I done wrong, Lord? You told me in my dreams that You are a friend. I ask You why You made me Your friend. I am just a simple servant now. Nothing more!"
Danieles' eyes streaming with tears down to her cheeks made her bed all wet that night.
"It appears they like to torture me for doing this to me without any clear explanations,"
Daniele muses as she sobs in private the next whole day.
She decided not to work.
She pack-up all her belongings.
Write simple notes to all her colleagues and insert them into their bible before she left the bedroom.
"They all went to the parish for choirs. I feel so sad but Lord, made me strong now to face these new situations, please."
Daniele continues praying silently.
"Oh Lord Jesus Christ, help me to understand their ways and show me Your ways."
"Daniele, you should learn to be obedient to our Congregation's Vision and Mission."
The Superior gave the order again when she resisted leaving the convent.
She was trying to convince the superior that she wanted to pursue her calling.
"Why, Do I violate your rules and regulations here?" Daniele asks, her voice irritated.
"You should try having a boyfriend first," Formator's sister advised.
"What? I wanted to save my purity for my love of Jesus!" Daniele insisted.
"You grow, Daniele, grow up and be matured!" insists the superior,
"I can't understand you anymore!" Daniele says as she walks out of the convent, with nothing to follow up on.
Daniele's parents, brothers, and sisters are overjoyed that she has returned after such a long absence.
"What happened to you, Daniele?" Mother inquires.
“ I, too, am baffled. But, according to them, I must obey.
It appears that I am disobedient to them.
That's why I had to leave the convent life," Daniele explains adding,
"I feel that they killed me, Mama. I feel that I wanted to die now."
She weeps bitterly before her mother cooks their food in the kitchen again as she sobbed head bow down on the open window.
"You should get married and start your own family, Daniele," her cousins advise.
"That's also what the Sister Superior instructed. But I'm completely perplexed by what they're saying.
It's completely unclear to me! "Daniele expresses herself.
Daniele is now looking for a new job six months later.
She has already recovered and adjusted to her new life outside of the convent.
"What's your plan now, my dear?" Papa inquires. I'm not sure yet, Papa.
But I will look for work so that I can be productive again.
I can't sit around and dwell on my mistakes forever. "Daniele expresses herself.
A weird voice from behind greets her as she approaches the church on a Sunday morning.
Someone says,
"Hello!"
Daniele appears hesitant to respond.
"Hello! Do I know you?"
Daniele asks, her gaze fixed on him.
A man with a beard covering his face. She looks him in the eyes.
It has blue eyes, blonde curly full-grown hair, a bit of stunning muscular body build, and stands 5'9 tall.
"Have we met before?" Daniele inquires.
"I was here six years ago and saw you distributing gifts to the community;
then I returned to Europe to continue my priesthood and saw you there,
and now I've left my seminary and seen you here," he explains.
“Are you a Filipino national? " Daniele inquires.
"I was still applying for Permanent Residence here the first time I visited here,
but when you left, I withdrew my application."
He smiles and becomes more attractive as Daniele gazes at him.
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