---
Miz's book published without much fanfare. It felt really nice to hold that book in my hands. I've published a book. Actually published a book. Even if it wasn't a big hit, I was elated. I was so proud of myself. It was strange and wonderful and I was giggly for a long time. Kryptos gave me funny looks when I floated around the house giggling to myself and reading through a copy of my own book.
I might have forced everyone to read it and asked for their opinions.
They all thought I had found an author I liked.
My editor and I worked on a few other books. All set within the same universe with the same cast of characters but with different plots and stories. It was fun. To avoid abandoning my friends to starve I was forced to keep a careful schedule with multiple reminders of 'when' I should be. I did most of my work in my Nightmare Realm house. It was the only place I could work without distraction. I missed being able to ask the shrine maidens for their opinions. I debated asking my friends but couldn't bring myself to explain that I was secretly the girl pictured on the back of the books.
I asked Ax for his opinion and he looked…sadly nostalgic at the idea that I wrote a story. There was something there, he mentioned that the Time Giants used to make up stories to tell him. I gave him a hug and stayed with him for a few days.
My book series never made it big but in the years that followed I discovered I had a small cult following. I also doubled down on my book's usefulness by having depictions of me hidden within my drawings. In this way I could see more of the universe. I keep a lookout for anything that needed my interference. So far nothing majority fucked up like the potato-incident has happened but I'm not going to ignore the world anymore.
I have my self-given purpose to do.
---
Earth had finally formed. Sure it's just a ball of super hot rocks but it's progress. I check up on the planet every now and then, waiting for sentient life. How many billions of years is this gonna take? Who the hell knows? I can wait.
I stare down at the molten orb. This was so cool. I'm literally watching the formation of my planet! I've watched other planets and stars form but there was something about this that just made it more...personal.
I know it's not MY Earth, far from it, but still. Earth. With it's blue skies and lush forests. With cats, dogs and other adorable critters. Earth is so very special. So many different life forms. So many different species. Most of the alien worlds I've been to only contain a few hundred different species per planet. Both sentient and non-sentient.
I reach out my hand, at this distance I could pretend I was holding the Earth in my fingers. Soon. The Earth will exist. Soon. Life will begin to form. Soon. Life will evolve and grow. Soon. Humanity will come to be. I can barely wait.
Soon.
---
The wait was agonizing. Watching the smoldering rock and knowing that it'll take billions of years more before anything changes significantly. To take my mind off it, I hung out with my friends. Pyronica realized she wasn't aging. We swung by her homeworld and she was confused by how much everything had changed since the last time she'd been there.
She never bothered to go here often, no reason to when there were so many better worlds out there. But when I asked everyone where they wanted to go for today's field trip, she mentioned wanting to check on her old home. That's why we're here now.
Xanthar and Ammy ran off somewhere to play in the desert outside the city. Teeth and the Kryptos had already gone off to wreak havoc in their own ways. Ronica, dressed up nicely for our little outing, was staring with a blank expression at the city she grew up in. The buildings had changed. The people had changed. Everything was different. I reach out to nudge her arm lightly. "Ronica? Are you...okay?"
"Bill..." She says quietly. "...how long has it been since I first met you?"
I wince and fold inward a little. "Nearly 3 thousand galactic years now." For her at least, with all my time-swerving and dimension hopping, I'm nearing 40 billion years old now…
She's silent. I can feel a maddening swirl of emotions from her. None of them stay for long, swapping and twisting and curling around. I can feel disbelief, shock, confusion, sadness, fear and dread.
"Ronica? Are you okay? I ask again.
"What were the terms of our Deal?"
"....that we would be friends...from now until the end of time..." I say meekly.
Pyronica doesn't respond. I fret. She's mad. I just know it. "I'm sorry!" I say quickly. "I probably should have told you! I just...well...I don't actually know what to say. I'm just...so sorry..." I materialized some paper to fiddle with. "I just...I was so happy that you wanted to be my friend and I...well..." I can already feel my eye tearing up. "I didn't want to lose you so I just…"
I jump when she suddenly laughs. I blink at her as she just cackles and wipes a tear from her eye. "Ronica?"
"It's fine Bill. Geez, like, this is COOL! So I'm like...immortal now or something?"
"Well you won't age, but you can still get hurt or killed."
"Seriously Bill, this is fine. Don't worry so much. Wow. 3 thousand years already? I guess time really does rush like a flash fire when you're having fun." She grins at me widely. I can still feel some apprehension trickling out of her but she's trying so hard to reassure me.
"I'm still sorry Ronica. I should have told you."
"Hey. It's fine. You silly hypocrite." She pokes my hat. "You're the one always talking about ME telling people I'm gonna eat them before I ask them out. And your cute little self can't even tell me I'm immortal? Talk about double standards."
"Hey, I make you tell people because you end up killing your dates. This is like, the OPPOSITE of killing." I pout and Pyronica giggles. "Hypocrite~" she teases.
We banter lightly. She's still secretly upset and I'm still guilty but I don't think she's mad at me? We will move past this. I know we will. We have to. She has to. She's my precious friend. Mine.
---
I was surprised when Jessie summoned me. I completely expected her to cut ties with me completely. I was sure she would never want to see me again. And yet, here I was, floating in my summoning circle in Jessie's private chambers. She always summoned me here the few times she's bothered to. It was the only place where no one was allowed to enter except her. Where she could speak with me without worrying about other people watching.
"Hello…Miz…"
Oh. I guess she finally figured it out. It's been a few years since 'Miz' left the temple from her point of view. It's been a few centuries for me though. I've had plenty of time to get over myself. I was actually relieved that she found out. I didn't have to lie anymore.
"Hello Jheselbraum."
"Why?" She asks, watching me calmly. It was one of the reasons I liked her. She wasn't afraid of me at all. She wasn't afraid to tell me to my face that she didn't like me. In all the millions of years I've known her, she has never gone out of her way to try and get on my good side. She always made it clear she'll tolerate me and nothing else.
I just never realized how much she truly disliked me.
"Why what? Why did I disguise myself as a little girl? Why I drew and published comic books? You're gonna have to be more specific. You know I don't read your mind."
"This is precisely what I mean. Why do you continue to be this way? I have made it clear that I neither respect you nor like you. You have killed billions for less than that. And yet you have not harmed me in any way."
"I crushed your world view about your position." I point out.
"You enlightened me to the truth! It may have hurt but I'd rather know the truth than live on in ignorance! Even now you have not melted my face off or eaten my shrine maidens in rage for my betrayal of you. You LIVED with us while we were ignorant of who you were. You could have easily destroyed us all. I ask again. Why?"
She looks legitimately confused why I continue to grant her mercy. I can understand why she feels this way. I don't have a reputation of patience for those who've betrayed me. My feelings are easily hurt and I've burned down entire villages for a slight against me. 'Miraculously' no innocent people were ever killed or seriously harmed when that happens. They chalk it up to divine protection from the AXOLOTL, never realizing that I simply used all my self control to prevent my flames from killing innocent people.
I sighed. How does she not realize it? Even after all these years? "Because I love you." I still did, even after all this time. I couldn't help myself.
She steps back as if struck. There's an odd expression on her face, like she's unsure if she should be disgusted or sympathetic. "That is incredibly unfortunate." She says with a noticeable waver in her voice.
"I don't mean sexually, that's disgusting. Geez, you're like a little sister or something. God, you and Pyronica both just keep ASSUMING-"
"Oh...well if you do not...desire me...then why?"
"What part of 'you're like a sister to me' are you incapable of understanding?! Ugh. Seriously. I know you're not that stupid Jheselbraum!"
She gets a look of dawning understanding. "Oh. I...never realized your regard for me ran that deep. I thought it was merely another of your...jokes."
"Why would I joke about that? I lost my family. My entire homeworld. Everything I knew, gone! You KNOW this! How have you not realized that Family is the most important thing to me? That having a Family again was all I've EVER wanted?"
For the first time in our conversation her expression breaks from it's calm mask. I can clearly see her guilt as she finally understands what I'm saying, what I mean. "I have been a fool. A stupid blind fool..." She says sadly. "Please forgive me. For all that I am praised as an Oracle, I have been pathetically blind to what lay before my own eyes…you were right." In a cracking voice she whispers "I am unfit to be His Priestess..."
"Hey! None of that! You are Ax's Priestess. You are worthy. Definitely worthy."
"But He didn't choose me."
"Dammit Jessie! Do you know WHY I chose you? Out of all the maidens brought before His altar, I picked YOU. It wasn't from some eenie meenie miney moe bullshit either. I specifically chose YOU."
She blinks her many eyes at me. A few were already leaking. I gently wiped away her tears. "I picked you because you were the best. Ax deserves nothing BUT the best. When he told me to chose for him, do you have any idea how stressed I was?"
I manage a weak laugh. "I wanted to make sure I didn't mess THIS up. Not like I've messed up everything else I've ever done. This wasn't just about me, it was for Ax's sake."
I held her face gently in my hands. She's watching me intently. Paying full attention to my words. "So I looked at all of you. So many maidens lined up, all of you praying and hoping to be chosen. I scanned each and every one of you. I had to know everything about you. Your past, your present, your hopes and desires." I stared at her intently.
"Do you know what I found?"
"What?" She asks quietly, her expression the most open I've seen since the day she was first chosen.
"Around 80% of the maidens there didn't even give a shit about Ax. They came because they wanted the power, prestige and immortality that would come with the position. Most of them didn't even believe Ax was real. They were taught to worship him but his lack of presence made them believe he was nothing more than myth." I sneered.
"Of the remaining 20% around half were brainless puppets who had taken on the teachings so thoroughly that they can't even think for themselves. Some were timid and wouldn't be able to stand up to the duties they would have to perform. Some were just unskilled in divination and healing. And then I found you."
I gave her the kindest smile I could manage without a face. "You were everything I'd hoped for. You were strong, independent and utterly devoted to a God you have never seen or heard from. You are Jheselbraum the Unswerving. Your belief never wavered in all the years you've lived."
Her eyes were wide and wet with tears but there was that gleam of joy, the same one I saw all those millennia ago when the light at the altar had shone down on her.
"More than that. You were kind and fair. Do you know how many religious zealots I've met over the years? People who would discriminate or kill others 'in the name of the AXOLOTL'? I hated those people. Hypocritical idiots who push for their own selfish agendas while using Ax's name to build followers."
"I remember hearing of the destruction of one of their Temples. You razed them all to the ground. Everyone thought...I thought that you were simply killing HIS worshippers for fun." She frowns.
"Pfth- you should know I don't do things like that without reason."
"Yes, I probably should have realized. I can't believe I've been so stupid all this time." She slumps slightly.
"You're still young. You haven't even reached 1 billion years old yet." I poke her cheek lightly.
"Somehow I feel like you're patronizing me." Jessie mutters as I laugh.
"There's the grumpy Jessie I know and love!"
"Yes, well..." She wipes her eyes. "This has...been an enlightening talk."
I sigh. "Look. You can't be seen with me for the sake of your reputation. I get that. But I still want us to be friends. I know you don't like me and I can't blame you. I don't like myself either."
"Miz…Bill...I cannot allow you to be here. It was difficult enough to explain Xanthar's stays. Luckily, your protective nature over your 'companion' is well known and I was able to truthfully tell people that you leave him here because I am known for taking in any who seek sanctuary."
She frowns at me. "But you cannot bring your other companions here. I cannot excuse their presence."
"That's fair." I flicked my bowtie a few times. "So...are we good?"
"If you mean to ask if we are friends, I...don't think I am quite ready for that."
"So...mutually non-hostile acquaintances?" I ask hopefully.
She actually smiles. "I am alright with that. The girls miss Miz. I do as well…"
I sighed. "So I can only come when I'm disguised as a little girl then?"
She laughs lightly. It wasn't the resolution I wanted but…Jessie was willing to let me back in her temple, knowingly. That was a start.
---
"Seriously, what's up with you? Are you sick?" Teeth asks when I didn't respond to him despite the mouth poking me multiple times. "Like…you space out a lot but you normally come back when I call you a few times." He frowns at me while the TV blared the newest round of Demon Baby Fights.
"Seriously, you haven't even been paying attention to the show. DiaperRash just got his arm ripped off and you didn't even cheer."
"Sorry. There's been a lot on my mind…" I slap my bricks a few times. Focus, idiot.
"What's so important that you can't even watch the children of the infernal legions tear each other apart?" Teeth grumbles. I resist the urge to correct him about how all the 'Babies' were actually an adult species of demon that just LOOKED like infants. I sigh. "Jessie and I made up from our…misunderstanding."
"I don't know who that is. But this is a good thing right?"
"It's very good! I'm glad she's not…hating me…but it's just…" I frown, thinking about how I can put this into words. "Because of our positions in society, I can't hang out with her like I do with you guys. Even ignoring the fact that for all intents and purposes, I'm not allowed into Dimension 52, if I'm seen around her and she ISN'T treating me like she can barely stand me, she could get in a lot of trouble."
"Wait, who is this girl? Is she your secret girlfriend or something?" Teeth gasps at the potential drama. I quickly correct him.
"No! Jessie's like…my adopted little sister…sort of? It's really complicated…"
"You have a sister?!"
I feel like Teeth was just getting more confused as this conversation wore on. "Okay so…after my family…died…" I had to pause a bit and collect myself. "…I was taken in by this guy who pretty much raised me for the next many billion years or so. I guess he's technically STILL raising me considering I go to him whenever I need help…"
"Wait, YOU, needing help? With what?! You can do ANYTHING." Teeth looks like he can't even fathom the idea that I would need help with anything. It certainly made my ego feel nice.
"It's mostly just me complaining about my 'feelings' and 'issues' to him. That's not important right now." I wave him off. Teeth scoffs. "So you go to that other guy to talk about your feelings but not us?
"I'm talking to you right now aren't I?"
Teeth pauses before smiling softly. "Yes. You are." I continue where I left off.
"Basically, Jessie is his High Priestess and I suppose in a really weird way that makes her adoptive family? I don't know, what do you think the relationship between a god and their high priest or priestess to be? Like…parent and child?"
"….I have no idea what you're saying…" Teeth says slowly. I groan.
"Too long didn't listen, Jessie is like family, so no, I am NOT dating her."
"So…what was the problem again?"
I face palm with both hands. Ax grant me patience.
"I'm sad that I can't spend more time with my sister." I state plainly. Kryptos, who was walking by to get to the kitchen, stops to stare at us in surprise. "You have a sister?!"
I groan and bury my face in a couch cushion.
—