Capítulo 45: A sense of normalcy
The days after Uraraka had left his room, Izuku fell back into the daily routine the rest of his classmates were following, routed back into the fast-paced lessons the hero course had to offer as if nothing had ever happened.
The normalcy doesn't make him feel much better, but it helped him adjust to the kindness and care the heroes were doing for him. The lingering notion of isolation slowly faded away as he adapted to the new social aspects of his life which were falling into place. It had taken some time, but Izuku was slowly starting to feel more involved and wanted within his class, the missing feeling of belonging carefully repairing itself within his fragile heart.
The feelings certainly weren't coming back to him overnight, but it was progress, and progress was far better than nothing at all. Izuku was learning to live with it.
After the argument in his bedroom, Izuku had decided to stick to his word, as much as it pained him to have to place his problems upon his friends' shoulders. It was tough, each word that would leave his mouth each time he spoke would leave him feeling drained and tired but in the end, it worked; sort of.
There was little relief that could free him from the burdens he carried, but it was enough to allow him to slowly work towards the haphazard state he was in just before the summer training camp, a mix of both the happiness he felt with his friends and the undeniable memories which would haunt more so than every once in a while.
Thankfully, however, Uraraka was more than willing to listen and comfort him whenever the memories would become too much for him; the free time he had on his hands without the stress of food finally gave way for his mind to go through all unprocessed trauma, that had been stored away in the back of his mind.
The depressing and concerning acts that Izuku had made were kept silent between the pair of friends, Uraraka keeping what she saw that night in his bedroom a secret for his own sake of mind. It hadn't taken a genius for them to be fully aware of the possible consequences that would follow if their teachers found out, no doubt considering the circumstances that Izuku was in, even if the heroes had agreed to help him through it.
Izuku couldn't bare the thought of being confined once again, that thought alone leaving him in another spiral of anxiety and stress, breaking down in his bedroom with Ochako hugging him tightly only a few days after the night of the provisional licensing exam. The tingles of pain which should have been in his arm silently reminded him that no matter how much he repented, he would always be a part ghoul.
Slowly but surely izuku was able to integrate his social life back in with the rest of his classmates, finally bringing himself to talk to people in his class again after having a long talk with lida; after Uraraka had pestered him every waking second of the day to talk with him.
It had become apparent very quickly after lida had come clean, that he was unsure of where he stood with the situation Izuku had been cursed with;
Midoriya, Uraraka and Todoroki spending an afternoon discussing their shared past in private.
The convocation had been long and tiring, but eventually, they had managed to come to some sort of level standing.
"I can't say l'm happy about who you are, or what you have done, but l've finally come to realise that our teachers wouldn't have let you back into UA if they had considered you a threat..."
The conversation had begun strained and tense, after Uraraka had finally convinced lida to listen to Izuku's side of the story, lida finally got his chance to put forward his own thoughts as Izuku had awkwardly sat in silence accepting everything that was said to him.
lida had held a grimace tightly on his face as he had spoken, looking over to Uraraka for guidance about what to say, who quickly prompted him to continue with a small smile on her face.
"I-i know i have been very distant to you, recently. lida had begun slowly, releasing a deep tiresome sigh before continuing, "But from what you've told me, I understand now that you didn't have control of the situations which occurred."
lidas' normally proper speech pattern faltered a little as he looked over to Todoroki for a brief second, who sat comfortably by lzuku's side, as he contemplated his next words.
"As much as it pains me to admit it, I'm... Thankful that you saved me during the Hosu attacks. I don't remember seeing you there at the time, but i saw the news in the hospital after i had awoken," lida hesitated as he looked over to Todoroki as he continued,"… and i know at least i would have died that night if it wasn't for your help."
The trio of friends watched as their blue-haired classmate had lowered his head in shame.
"I was too overcome by my anger for revenge for my brother to realise the danger I had got myself in. I remember running into that night feeling as if I could do something to make it all better and left with the feeling that I was going to die, only to wake up in the hospital the day after with only a scar and a fractured hand..."
lida sucked in a deep breath before sighing wearily, looking back up slowly to where Izuku was sitting with an unreadable mixture of gratitude and grief within his tired eyes.
"After learning about who it was that saved me that night in Hosu during the summer camp, l'm afraid I've been a little lost of where l've stood in this situation and my personal view of you, Midoriya." lida paused, slowly bowing his head apologetically before he continued, "I'm sorry I didn't come and confront you first before coming to a conclusion, it was wrong of me to judge you for the situation you were placed in before knowing your side of the story."
Uraraka and Todoroki shared wide eyes as Izuku looked at his old friend weakly, slowly speaking as he responded. " I don't blame you at all, you're not the first person to be afraid of who I am before i told them what had happened to me.."
lida offered Izuku a grim wince as he accepted Izuku's response, hesitantly looking over to Todoroki as he asked him one of the questions on his mind.
"I assume the Hosu attack was when you discovered who Midoriya was..?" lida asked slowly, as Todoroki nodded softly in response.
"I only saw his face for a split second, but it was enough for me to recognize him."
lida let out a small hum, lowering his head in thought.
"I thought as much..." lida replied with an understanding nod before looking to Uraraka questioningly as he asked, "I haven't the faintest clue how you found out Uraraka,"
Uraraka gave them an awkward smile as she lifted her hand to rub the back of her head, before she lowered her hand and spoke softly, "Ahh, I found out during the USJ attack. I was pretty scared at the time, but Deku saved me from the villains."
lida blinked in surprise, sitting back up in his seat, " Oh I see now," he began, his voice returning to the orderly tone it was naturally, "We had assumed that you may have found out before we had started the school year."
The trio of friends shared a look at lidas' words, worry slowly forming in Midoriya's stomach as Urarakas curiosity finally got the better of her, peeping out a question, the trio were all intrigued for the answer for.
"Uhh, lida? What do you mean by 'we'?"
lida awkwardly blinked before letting out a self-conscious chuckle trying to hide the subtle grimace below.
"The other and I who saw you that day at the summer camp, we haven't been talking about who you are if that's what you are worried about, but Mineta came to us and had started asking me about your relationship whilst bringing the others in." lida let out a bothersome sigh, "It seems out of everyone who saw you, from what I can gather, only Mineta seems to be the one who is the most against you being here. I don't think he has realised, unlike the others and myself, that the teachers wouldn't let you in here if you were a threat to us."
Midoriya looked between the four of them at their different expressions before falling into thought as Uraraka nodded her head up in realisation, "Ahh, that makes a lot of sense now! I guess that also explains his awful behaviour towards me recently."
Todoroki lent forward and asked her about what she meant about his behaviour as Izuku was too lost in his mind interpreting what lida had said to them. The thought that the others who had spotted him weren't entirely disgusted with him eased his sore heart off slightly, not too surprised that Mineta was the only one who was from the memory of his reaction.
"Anyway, Deku-Kun and I only met at the entrance exam, when he saved me from that giant robot! I think that's probably the reason why we became friends so quickly! That and that during our first hero lesson on the second day he saved me again there!" Uraraka said with a chuckle, drawing Izuku's attention back as a small, warm smile formed on his face.
"I think we all sort of figured out that the pair of you both knew somehow, one way or another," lida finished with a small smile as well, looking at Midoriya and his two friends sat on either side of him warmly as he bowed apologetically, "You've both always seemed rather close to each other, i assumed when you had rescued her during the entrance exam that you had known her before, sorry for jumping to conclusions."
Uraraka and Midoriya both felt their faces warm up slightly at the secret information of what had happened in their relationship from the unknowing words lida had spoken, Todoroki sitting plainly in his usual expression beside them.
"Ahh, I-it's alright lida!" Izuku quickly began, frantically waving off lidas' apology with an awkward yet honest laugh, "I forgive you! Let's just be friends and move past this, please?"
lida could only offer him a warm agreeing smile.
"That does sound like an appropriate idea to me!'
The friendship which had re-blossomed between the group of friends was what Izuku could have called a blessing in disguise, and he couldn't be more grateful that lida had listened and understood him. Some things would be hard to change, Mineta still terrified of his presence and the other still a little bit off towards him, but it seemed as if once they had learnt of his and lida rekindled friendship people started to warm up again; talking more freely and comfortingly than Izuku thought that they ever would again.
So as Izukus social life with more than just a couple of people bloomed, the tension in the class had slowly begun to melt away.
In some ways, luku found it all rather odd, the similarities in his friends' reactions before and after he had told them the truth. Part of his mind had been trying to convince him that it was all just a play of guilt and pity on their part, but Izuku did his best to push that thought away.
At first, the reactions he had received from his now closest friends had terrified him, every person who saw in him in those incriminating positions had sent thorns of fear through his heart, but now he had admittedly become a little numb to the experience of someone's disgust and anger directed towards him.
It was sad to think that it had gotten to a point where now his friends' initial reactions had done little to nothing other than aid the overwhelming feeling of loneliness he was fighting, compared to mental torture the blood and the murders on his hands had left him with.
Izuku had mentally shaken his head away from those thoughts again, bringing his mind away from the dark tunnel his mind always seemed to lead him down.
Another thing that had been on his mind almost every hour of the day was the kiss that Uraraka had planted softly on his cheek. The unrealistic thought alone of her lips on his face had left him in a blushing mess, but it had happened, she had kissed him.
For the first few days after, Uraraka hadn't brought the subject up to him, and Izuku had no idea where to even begin with approaching the subject to find the meaning behind it; mainly being too scared to even attempt to. So when Uraraka came up to him after school earlier that day and apologised for kissing him so suddenly without asking if it was ok, Izuku was a little lost for words.
"Umm- Deku.? Can i talk to you for a second.?" Uraraka had called out to him from behind as he was walking back to the dorms by himself, his friend's voice had caused him to stiffen slightly with a flush flaunting across his cheeks as he awkwardly turned to face her with a smile.
"Uhh- Yea..! Sure!" he began nervously a small chuckle making its way through his lips his smiles fell into a wider, eyes-closed grin. His smile was quickly returned as Uraraka jogged to walk beside him.
Ignoring the flushing feeling on his cheeks, izuku was the first one to speak up again as Uraraka looked ahead, lost in thought.
" So, umm, what did you want to talk to me about Uraraka-san?" Izuku began nervously as he grabbed into the straps of his bag tightly over his shoulders, his line of sight heavily concentrated on the path in front of him to spare himself the embarrassment of his bed friend spotting his tomato red face.
Uraraka had let out an anxious sigh as she fumbled with her hands, looking away as she spoke in a nervous rush.
"I Just wanted to apologise- for, uhh- kissing you last week.!" Uraraka looked away awkwardly, her body tense beside his waiting for his response, as she lowered her head guiltily, "I shouldn't have done that without asking, you know? It was pretty rude and inconsiderate of me, i know you still have problems when people suddenly touch you, I just..."
Izuku looked at Uraraka with surprise as she had slowly trailed off, utterly not expecting those words to have come out of her mouth. Was that the reason why she hadn't spoken or mentioned anything about it afterwards? Did she really consider what she had done to be rude and inconsiderate? Izuku had thought it was odd that she hadn't mentioned or spoken to him much at all but in some ways, her honesty and apology now were somewhat comforting and a relief to say the least.
A small, light-hearted chuckle fell from Izukus lips as he felt a little bit of embarrassment overcome him, his hand lifting anxiously rub his hair as some form of distraction as he happily disarmed her of her apology.
"O-oh, It was ok, honestly please don't worry about it.!" Izuku began, tripping over his words before his nerves got the better of him, and made the whole situation far more embarrassing, " I'm not trying to say I didnt like it or anything! I just-uhh-wasn't expecting it..."
The pair of students looked at each other for a silent moment as they both took in what Izuku had said before both of them felt their cheeks warming up.
"Ahh-Well, that's good then! I guess-"
The conversation was still causing bubbles to form in Izuku's stomach as he walked towards the bins behind the dorm room to empty their trash, his heart warmed at her honesty and consideration, the sight of his friend blushing with
embarrassment making their little conversation all the more entertaining.
Izuku honestly couldn't remember the last time he had felt so warm and happy after their walk back to the dorms.
With a smile on his face, Izuku finally reached the bigs where he reached over to lift the lid and throw the bags into the trash, only for a face to appear behind it once he closed the lid back down.
"Boo!"
Izuku let out a loud yelp.
" AHH..!'
He mped back with fright, dropping the lid down of the bin with a loud bang and he turned to look away.
"Oh, sorry for scaring you! You're the guy who managed to escape the league of villains! Right?"
Izuku flinched back with a cringe at the stranger's choice of words, gathering his bearings as he tried to get a better look at the guy who was talking to him through a wall.
The face which seemed to be attached to the side of the building had wide blue eyes with a flick of blond hair as they watched Izuku with a wide smile, not helping the internal battle Izuku was facing as he tried not to freak out at the seemingly decapitated head on the side of the wall.
Izuku's cautious tone shook as the sudden adrenaline in his system began to calm, "I-Uhh-W-who are you..?"
The face on the wall only laughed aloud at his expense, making Izuku sweat drop, before ignoring his question.
"My friend was just telling me this morning how she overheard someone say that the two first years had managed to escape from the league of villains. I was just too curious and had to come by and ask for myself, it's pretty impressive that you did it together on your own!"
Izuku straightened himself out as he gave an unsure response, looking around slightly for anyone who could save him from the unusual conversation, only to come up with nought.
"I- uh, thank you?" Izuku began confusedly, the blond-haired guy had opened his mouth to respond before pausing with a frozen smile on their face before letting out a much more relaxed wholesome chuckle before he spoke.
"I'm sorry! That was probably a little insensitive of me to drop that question on you suddenly!
Sometimes i get ahead of myself!" The face in the wall said before vanishing back into the wall before Izukus very eyes.
As Izuku looked around widely for the face, the other boy popped his head out of the ground just before him, catching Izuku by surprise and causing him to jump up slightly again.
'Woah. that's a cool quirk!' Izuku thought momentarily with widened eyes of surprise as he saw the fascinating quirk at work, the blond-haired dude still talking away to him as Izukus awe went unnoticed.
"I will admit, you're much more pleasant to talk to than your friend!" The head now poking out the flow continued, as Izuku quickly caught on to who he was talking about with a weary sigh. Izuku really didnt want to imagine the colourful language Bakugou could have possibly used while talking to them.
"Ahh... I'm sorry about Bakugou if he did anything!
He can be- uhh- a bit of a handful sometimes."
Izuku reasoned tiredly with an awkward laugh.
The other boy just grinned at Izuku, letting out a small understanding hum, "Ahh i see, well sorry to cut this short, but l've gotta go!"
With that his head seemed to twist around on the ground to face the other way before zooming away thought and vanishing beneath the floor, leaving Izuku speechless to what had happened behind.
It was only after Izuku gathered his senses that he sniffed that air, only for the man's scent he had subconsciously sniffed vanishing from the immediate area, leaving Izuku with no trace of which direction they had gone.
That was new, it was like the scented trail that people usually left behind had vanished along with the guy. There wasn't much point in trying to find out who or where they had gotten, it wasn't like Izuku could do much and he was well aware of the security around the school.
With a quick look around, discovering he was alone and that the dude was hanging around, Izuku gave a tired sigh before yawning; drained from the sudden conversation as he slowly made his way back to the dorms for a nap.
Then school resumed the next day, the class had begun with Aizawa settling them in for a lecture instead of a hero training for their first session. An assembly had been held that morning, finally discussing the new changes brought to the school and the dorm system as a whole, but the only thing that the first years of class 1-A had picked up were the few words 'hero studies' that the principal had spoken off.
This intrigue had followed them into the classroom as Aizawa answered the questions about it which had been bugging them all.
"I'm sure you all heard Nezu in assembly this morning, i was going to talk to you about these new opportunities for you at a later date, but it seems as if the school board has pushed them forward to first years." Aizawa began, rolling up his sleeping bag as he sighed at the thought of having to explain something early into his class school career that he had originally anticipated, "These Hero Studies the Principal spoke about are your next step into the hero careers, so this is no time to be slacking off."
Izuku sat between his classmates as they all nodded with understanding, noticing the odd few raising theirs hands to ask their sensei questions.
Aizawa looked around the room at the few hands before his eyes landed on Asui, prompting her to ask away.
"Sensei, I've never heard of hero studies before, how are they different to the work internships we did after the sports festival?" Asui asked, a few of her classmates lowering their hands as they agreed with her question.
Aizawa promptly nodded.
"These Hero studies are very similar to the work experience you all participated in a few months ago," He began, "The only difference here is that this will be far closer to the real thing than before, especially those of you with your provisional licenses. Those without, I'm afraid, will have to stay behind."
A low murmur fluttered around the classroom as Izuku looked behind him to offer Torodoroki a comforting smile, knowing that the weight of not passing his exam had been bugging his friend for the last week since the exams. Todoroki looked up slight once Izuku had caught his eye and offered back his own small yet grateful twitch in the lips.
Before looking back to the front of the class, Izuku noticed that Uraraka seemed to be deep in thought.
Aizawa cut off the noise in the room with a swift use of his quirk, the class snapping back into silence as he cleared his throat and carried on.
"As i was saying, those of you with your hero licenses will have the opportunity to search for your own hero studies."
Uraraka quickly raised her hand, jumping out of her seat, causing Izuku to jump as Aizawa paused to listen to her.
"But wait! What was the point of all the effort we went to in the sports festival if we're going to be scouted again now..!" Uraraka spoke in an exasperated yet panicked tone.
Aizawa let out a small breath, wishing his students would let him finish as he answered her question with what he was going to say anyway.
"The sports festival was your opportunity to get scouted by heroes over the country for your internships, however, i need to remind you that your Hero Studies are something you will need to find access to on your own. This is your chance to use the connections you made from your internships and work your way up the ladder." Aizawa started, addressing his class.
"This isn't part of your classwork, so you will need to find these opportunities on your own. This also means, however, that it may be more difficult for some of you to find Hero study placements if you were not scouted before. That is why i, as well as your other teachers, will be around to help give you any advice or references you may need but don't expect us to find these placements for you; ask your friends and the people you have already met to get your foot in the door."
Aizawa looked over to Uraraka who was still standing up behind her desk as he finished. "Does that answer your question, Uraraka?" he asked, as his student lowered herself back into her chair with a quick nod of the head and apology for shouting out.
"Good, with that in mind. We will carry on with today's lesson, discussing different ways of networking to help you in these next coming weeks."
As the lessons continued, Aizawa discussed and talked about different strategies famous heroes took to get into the industry, Izuku couldn't help but let his mind wander around to possible heroes he would want to work with and the possibilities of conflict once they would inevitably learn who he was.
It was tough enough having to face All Might, his teachers and his classmates after the summer attack, Izuku didnt want to start to think of the possibilities of other heroes reactions and the possible information leaks caused by heroes who couldn't keep their mouths shut.
Izuka let out a sigh as he scribbled down a few, unsure names onto the piece of paper handed out to them. He could only hope that maybe Gran Torino would want him back.
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